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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can they actually stop me

307 replies

Rosebel · 21/06/2020 10:56

I've been in hospital with pregnancy problems since last Sunday. Had the baby on Wednesday and every day they say I can go home tomorrow but still can't.
They are waiting for a Covid result which might be tomorrow but probably not. This is for the baby not me.
The doctor said they can't let me go but I'm sick of being in hospital. Every day is a reason why I can't go home. Can they actually stop me leaving with my baby?

OP posts:
OhTheRoses · 21/06/2020 17:52

This reminds me of when sh had his appendix out at 12 noon on Friday. I arrived at the hospital at 10am on Saturday morning. He had actually been discharged but they couldn't sign him put until the painkillers arrived from pharmacy. I asked how long that would be and was told usually by 3.30 - 4pm. I asked if there was a problem with us going and me coming back for the pills. They were very chippy and on the way out I heard them whinging that us going meant they'd have to get the bed ready and take another patient from a&e before they went off shift.

Similar poor communication endless times with the children. Hence why now if I don't get a straight answer I ask for the person In charge to be bleeped. It either expedited an explanation or action.

022828MAN · 21/06/2020 17:52

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strawberry2017 · 21/06/2020 17:53

I also had a baby 6 weeks ago so I'm basing it on my experience.
Congratulations on your babies

Pumpertrumper · 21/06/2020 18:06

I hated post natal ward and this would have broken me!
I’d be saying ‘I will be leaving at X time tomorrow as I fear for baby catching the virus here and staying is detrimental to my MH.’ But comply fully with anything they want to do until then.

You shouldn’t be sat endlessly on a postnatal ward with no reason to be there.

Star81 · 21/06/2020 18:08

Hope you got to speak to someone who was able to explain clearly what your discharge plan was x

WokeUpSmeltTheCoffee · 21/06/2020 18:08

Procedure for discharge:

Consultant proclaims on ward round in the morning that patient can be discharged
Discharge form needs to be done by junior dr (needs to be a dr as it is a prescription)
Form goes to pharmacy and meds are issued
When meds are received on ward and checked by nurse and any follow up arrangements checked are in place then you can go.

Delays occur because

  1. The junior Dr does even finish the ward round until about mid morning and then they need to do the most urgent jobs first of which discharge letters will not usually be top priority
  2. Pharmacy will be over run with discharge meds requests especially on a Friday. If these are controlled drugs eg strong painkillers it will take even longer
  3. At a weekend there will be 1 dr on call between probably 3 or so wards rather than a number per ward on a weekday. They are primarily there for emergencies so discharge letters will be low on the list
  4. At a weekend there will be less pharmacy staff too

I recommend not trying to get discharged at a weekend. If you want to leave, don't need meds, know how to get help if things go wrong and are happy to take responsibility for yourself then largely just do it and no-one will care that much.

To whoever said it's because Drs don't realise that mothers are important at home maybe you haven't realised it's not the 1950s. 50% of Drs are women and loads of us are mothers.

Wecandothis99 · 21/06/2020 18:14

Strange that people think the docs can actually keep the baby Hmm. It's def your choice but you have the rest of your life with them at home so a few days won't kill you!

Whoopsmahoot · 21/06/2020 18:26

They’re not going to ask you to stay for no reason, an overnight bed costs a hospital >£400 for a patient to stay. They want you to stay for a reason not cos they’re bored

Casschops · 21/06/2020 18:39

Unless there is a child protection order in place you can leave whenever you like with baby. Though not advised.

bluevioletcrimsonsky · 21/06/2020 18:41

If it was only you, I think it's up to you. You are ready to take consequences.
But if involve your children, I would take extra precautions.
I actually saw the disagreement happened right in front of my eyes, regarding discharge of my child from hospital. Surgeons and Drs arguing, in front of me. Surgeons wanted him to stay, Drs on the ward wanted him gone, free up the bed.I really wanted to go home, but I was definitely with surgeons, better to be safe than sorry. I don't think they want to keep you, unless there is some reason.

PinkPlantCase · 21/06/2020 19:03

Hope you managed to get home OP 💕

TimeWastingButFun · 21/06/2020 19:22

I just discharged myself with my second, as it was the middle of the night and the doctor wasn't available for a check over (I took the baby to my GP the next day). But that wasn't during a pandemic, I think if I had been there at this time I would like the extra reassurance and stayed in. Either way congratulations and I hope you get home soon Flowers

CanICelebrate · 21/06/2020 21:23

Hope you’re ok OP and congratulations on your baby x

Original poster
Rosebel · 21/06/2020 21:53

Yes I am home now and it's lovely. Tbh I can't fault the midwives who were absolutely lovely especially when I was in tears at night. It was just this one doctor. They have said they'll let me know the results tomorrow or Tuesday so actually no guarantee I would have been home tomorrow.
It's been a bit of a rough start to my babies life and I hope the tough stuff is behind us and we can start family life as 5.
I'm pretty sure the hospital weren't about to contact SS but even if they do it's okay, I have nothing to hide.

OP posts:
whoknowswhichwayisup · 21/06/2020 21:59

We threatened self discharge with dd 2 and that got them moving. I was losing my mind in there and knew we'd all be better at home.

InfiniteGerbils · 21/06/2020 22:00

Well done @rosebel

That took guts

Sally872 · 21/06/2020 22:05

Good for you. Hope you and your new baby are enjoying being home. Take care Flowers

incognitomum · 21/06/2020 22:11

Great news Flowers

TinyPigeon · 21/06/2020 22:13

Congratulations enjoy being home Flowers

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 21/06/2020 22:22

Glad you're home, OP. All the best, enjoy your new baby. Smile

GabriellaMontez · 21/06/2020 22:22

Have a peaceful night with your family

Xenia · 21/06/2020 22:27

Welcome home. I had a 6 hour transfer with the first 3 babies as a compromise over the home births I wanted so got it in writing they would not imprison me in there for even one night each time!

Phineyj · 21/06/2020 22:53

Well done. The paperwork is v faffy. I watched another mum go through this and got my midwife to come in and nag people till they let me out. It was about a billion degrees on the ward and very noisy.

PanamaPattie · 21/06/2020 23:05

I’m glad you’re home OP - and you’re also right about doctors and midwives - I’ve worked with them - they lie all the time!

Nat6999 · 21/06/2020 23:28

I went through more or less the same thing, had been in high dependency with HELLP syndrome for 48 hours, got dumped on post natal ward with virtually no care, spent 2 days begging to go home, no signs of discharge, in the end just told them I was going, my meds magically turned up & we left.