Father’s Day - what counts as a lie in?

[HanPanPeg]

Normally our DC sleeps until 7/7.30 so I would count a lie in as to around 9am.

Today DC woke up at 5am and I spent around an hour trying to get him back to sleep and failed.

Giving I’ve been up since 5am SURELY a lie in now counts as 7.30am? AIBU to wake DH even though it’s Father’s Day?

I usually get up with DC normally earlier than DH anyway as a rule as I am more of a morning person - yesterday DH slept till about 8.45am and we’d been awake for an hour or so.

5am is very early though and I feel resentful!!

I'd wait until 8.00.

In this house a lie in means at least until 9, especially on Father’s Day. How old are the dc? Can’t you stick the telly on and have a coffee?

I get Saturday lie ins and DH gets Sundays. DC are 2 and 4 and one of them will always wake about 5.30 and come in for a cuddle then the other will.go to about 6.15. I don't know how they coordinate it.

Sometimes they both go to about 6.30 which is great.

Doesn't change the lie in. We used to both make it about 9.15 at the latest so we could be all getting out somewhere. Since lockdown we've been extending it to about 10.

I’m letting DH sleep as long he likes today and making him breakfast in bed. He’d do the same for me.

How many and how old are DC? I would say until at least 9am generally. We allow kids to child (on screens) while we have lie ins at weekend (although I dont actually lie in much as I prefer to get up but I potter with a cul of tea and paper or a looong shower.

DH has been up since 7am...that's a lie-in in our house.
I do usually let him sleep while I get up with DS.

I think it's sad you feel resentful. It's one day, and like a PP said, 8am sounds lovely as it is a gesture not an entitlement.

As it happens I have been awake since 05:30, Father's Day is a different way round in our house, I'd rather spend time with the kids today so to speak, it's different for different people.

DS is a consistently early waker so a lie in here is until 8. We hope to eventually be able to push it back to 9!

It’s Fathers Day! Let me sleep in as long as he wants.

One 2 year old!

I will hold on then..! I think I’m just annoyed as we don’t take it turns the rest of the time. Which is partly my fault as when the toddler wakes up, I wake up and then I can’t get back to sleep so I don’t see the point in both of us being awake - but the end result is that I’m always tired and DH is well rested!

I sleep as late as I want on Mother's Day and then don't lift a finger the rest of the day. I'd allow my husband the same.

Let him sleep as long as he can. That seems incredibly selfish even if its not fathers day to reduce his lie in just because the children woke up earlier than normal.

Also I’m 6 months pregnant so generally more tired. Peppa Pig is on

We alternate weekend lie ins. If kids wake before 6 it's 8:30 after 6 is 9. If it's after 7(happened once in 2years) 9:30.

Incredibly selfish? He has more sleep than me every single day

You definitely need to work on being able to get back to sleep and take equal turns. Even if you don't sleep but get some downtime on your own one of the weekend mornings.

@HanPanPeg

If he has more sleep than you normally, find a way to address that in a way that isn't passive aggressive.

No point in "punishing" him on Father's Day and reclaiming some perceived deficit in sleep equality, just to prove a point to yourself.

What is the purpose of waking him? Is it so that you can go back to bed for a while? If so, then no I would just wait until he wakes up and then head back up for an hour then.

If it was mothers day and he woke you at 7.30 saying your lie in was cut short because he was up earlier with the DC, would you think this was ok?

What would he do if the roles were reversed and today was Mother’s Day?

Let him lie in today until 8/8.30 but start talking about what will change when baby number 2 is here! He will have to have older one every morning after you have had sleepless nights with baby. Might be wise to start soon so your 2 year old gets used to daddy not mummy every morning 😉

I absolutely love this post!!!!!!!

DS also up at 5. I made pancakes and bacon (now cold - I had my window of calm with toddler and took it!). My plan is to let him sleep until 8.30 because at 9am it’s DS’ nap time and I’m 39 weeks pregnant so he will have to do the buggy nap as it feels like I’m walking with a cannonball falling out of my pelvis 😂

It’s been a long morning. I feel you.

"Let him lie in today until 8/8.30 but start talking about what will change when baby number 2 is here! "

THIS!

we alternate (you should too, nice to lounge in bed with a book or wherever) and a lie in is 2 hours after dd woke.

however with fathers day it's at least 8am. TV is a perfectly acceptable solution.

could you make him breakfast and all bundle in at 8?

I think it's sad you feel resentful

I assumed that the OP’s lack of sleep was impacting her feelings too. I know I’m not my usual sweet pleasant self when I haven’t bloody slept

OP, I would leave it for today and have a nice day together as much as you can. Then address it tomorrow (without bringing up today). Explain how you’ve realised that you can’t get by on that little sleep.

TBH if you’re 6 months pregnant it’s only going to get worse, your body is growing a new human being and that takes an enormous toll. So have a serious discussion with him this week - but not today

Ok ok you’ve all convinced me!