Father’s Day - what counts as a lie in?

[HanPanPeg]

Normally our DC sleeps until 7/7.30 so I would count a lie in as to around 9am.

Today DC woke up at 5am and I spent around an hour trying to get him back to sleep and failed.

Giving I’ve been up since 5am SURELY a lie in now counts as 7.30am? AIBU to wake DH even though it’s Father’s Day?

I usually get up with DC normally earlier than DH anyway as a rule as I am more of a morning person - yesterday DH slept till about 8.45am and we’d been awake for an hour or so.

5am is very early though and I feel resentful!!

I get it, our 16 month old has had a dreadful night then woken for the day at 6.15 and I'm wiped. But it's fathers day, so I'm going to let him sleep in as long as he likes - he'd do the same for me. It's just bad luck and frustrating it's today of all days!

My husband woke up at 5:30 and got up. Our two kids still asleep!

Today is not the day to start addressing this but you absolutely should.

could you make him breakfast and all bundle in at 8?

Love it! I just realised why mothers get breakfast in bed on special days

Let him lie in as normal today but next weekend start alternating lie ins. Even if you wake up when your DC does it's still beneficial to spend an hour or two relaxing in bed I find :)

In our house, a lie-in on Father’s Day means that the dc sneak around very loudly, getting breakfast in bed ready and hanging a banner on the bedroom wall while he pretends to be asleep and surprised when they’re jumping on the bed shouting “happy Father’s Day” at silly o clock. Ditto for Mother’s Day. It’s the one day when a real lie in is impossible.

YABU it is Father’s Day and it’s not his fault the 2 year old got up earlier than usual. Long term l personally would get him to do half of the early starts, it’s not fair if you’re always tired and he’s well rested

I would let him sleep today or you both might end up resentful. But I would take some lie in time for yourself regularly. You dont have to actually lie in, you could read a book, magazine, have a bath, make a fancy breakfast, go for a run etc.

At the weekend we take it in turns to have morning me time, Dh sleeps through his, I am normally up but not the one responsible for feeding / making endless drinks / entertaining the toddler (we have 3 kids). Being pregnant with a 2 year old is hard work, so do be kind to yourself.

Awww OP let him have his father's day lie in. I don't really understand what you want him to get up for if I'm honest? With us we only get the other one up from a lie in if we've got plans to go out and time is getting short. The time that the kids wake up doesn't make any difference.

I do get that it must be a PITA to always be the one that gets up with the kids. My DH is a much lighter sleeper than me so I generally get more lie ins than him. Sometimes he gets resentful and has a moan at me but I tell him to wake me up if he wants me to get up with the kids, the answer is always "well it's pointless if I'm already awake anyway" I think he just gets jealous that I'm a heavy sleeper and he's not.

Everyone is different but go by his lead - how long did you sleep in on mother's day?

@crispysausagerolls I love your name!

Yep by 9am I will feel like I’ve done a long slog.

But I will hold off and go for the pp’s advice start taking it in turns to have lie ins using the time to read a book and stay in bed.

I have to say I find the attitude of not letting father’s ‘lift a finger’ on Father’s Day a bit weird! We obviously do cards and try to make the day a bit special (and Mother’s Day as well) but I’d still expect them (and me on Mother’s Day) to do bath time / dinner time etc. as normal.

But I will leave him sleeping so as not to be dick

Father’s Day and Mother’s Day let them wake up naturally whenever that is. My DH gets up at 5am with the kids every day even on weekends as I’m still doing night feeds so I’ll be letting him sleep on as long as he likes today as he does for me on Mother’s Day.

Yes speak to him next week about shared lie in time. Dh and I have alternated lie ins every weekend since dc1 was born. They are coming up 9 and younger and we still do it.

A lie in is 10am in this house!
I’m up with DS and he has been awake since half 5 and I’m pretty tired. But I usually get one lie in a week until 10am with an extra one on Mother’s Day so I’m not resentful

I generally like to ensure my man wakes with a smile on his face on a Sunday morning but as it’s Father’s Day he’ll need to hang on tightly.

@MynephewR - yep I think I like your husband and just a bit jealous of his ability to snooze. It’s such a life skill!

And agree with the posters who have said what would be the point in waking him up!

AIBU has actually made me feel much better - amazingly!

'Incredibly selfish? He has more sleep than me every single day confused' -op

Uhm you do that to yourself. Don't blame him for that

Also. I am happy you let him lay. Just because your kid decided that 5am is OK to wake up still doesn't make 7.30 a lay in for your DH. You sound like you have a lot od resent towards him and your sleeping arrangements. Fix them. Then you'll both be happier.

Ha I'm thinking the same here! I have. 9-month-old, a 3-year-old and a 5-year-old and 7.30 definitely feels like a lie-in!

Going to try to give him 'til 8am, but I can hear the older two singing, so he may get woken up before that (I'm feeding the youngest who had been up since 6am so have an excuse not to go and investigate!)

I let my partner sleep in till at least 10AM every weekend unless we are going somewhere. As today is fathers day we are doing pancakes for lunch and will take these up to him around 11:30.

I do wake ups every day but on the weekends if we are up super early I have an afternoon nap. My partner does all the bedtimes so I can switch off after 6pm and get an early night if needed. This arrangment has been working for us but we do only have the one 3 year old, plus a house where the layout means everyone sleeps through when he wants to clean at 2AM.

Dc2 woke at 4.15 this morning I tried to get him to go back down but he wasn’t haven’t any of it.
It was my turn to get up but even though it’s Father’s Day, dh offered time get up for a couple of hours and then we’d swap.
As it happens, I got up at 7 and he then didn’t want to go back to bed. Probably all the coffee he’d mainlined.
So it’s nice we are all now up, and he’s currently cooking us breakfast but I wouldn’t have resented him at all if he had slept in until whenever.
That said, we do take it in turns, I may feel differently if I always did the earlys.

I never use my lie ins for sleep OP. I spend it with coffee and the radio. It's just nice not to have to DO anything.

You're a better person than me OP. We have a two year old (who fortunately sleeps til 8 so not in the same boat with the early start) and I'm 37 weeks.

If DH suggested a lie in today... Well, he's not that stupid.

My DH is up with his children. Enjoying them for extra time because it’s Father’s Day and it’s all about his relationship with his children.

Our son woke at 6 today (that's a lie in for me usually it's earlier!). I'm waking husband at 11. 39 weeks pregnant but I have no issue doing this! I did excitedly give him his present at 6 when he woke to use the toilet though 😁

10am. We alternate lie ins on a weekend, both get up around 7 during the week with 3 year old. Father's/Mother's Day is 10am lie in time as usual, plus a card & choosing a favourite tea or something.
I don't know how people put up with not taking turns with lie ins, it'd drive me mad. But then, we bottle fed so things have been pretty much 50/50 in regards to sleep from day 1.