About shielding..

[cornish009]

My husband received THE letter back in March and the household have all shielded with him since then. This means none of us have been out of the house or garden (thankfully a big one) for any reason at all for about 13/14 weeks now. All food obtained is via getting deliveries, often staying up all night to get a slot, and all medicines delivered too. No one has been into our house either in that time. It's been so hard emotionally, as we miss our other children/grandchildren desperately but we have stuck to the rules 100% simply to save my husand's life.

I totally believe that everyone should do what they need to do during this time. Every family is different and every health issue is different. There is no right and wrong. And I have no right to criticise anyone else's decisions.

However, time and time again I read on here from someone who is "shielding", who then say they just go to the supermarket or out for exercise or to meet someone, even if that is socially distanced. I don't mean they are wrong to do that, not at all, but I personally don't call that shielding.

I ask because now if I use the word "shielding" to others, they assume it's being a bit careful, and going outside at quiet times, when to us shielding is not yet going out at all. I have found over the weeks that more and more people don't qute understand that we are at home all the time, and have to stay there, and no we can't go to Tescos at 8am. No the children in our household can't go back to school because we are shielding and it would not be safe for them to come back into the safe haven we have created. Others think of us as very weird for doing what we do but as I say I consider it life and death.

So AIBU to think that if you have been out of the house, for any reason, then you are not completely shielding? You can do that, of course you can, but please don't say you are shielding if you go outside sometimes. Or am I the only one who feels this way?

ps and yes perfectly aware at some point we will need to re-join society, but that time is not yet.

[Nanny0gg]

mrsbyers what on earth was the need to come on here to make that comment?

Everyone struggles for different reasons. Why sneer?

[cornish009]

Yes, I went out into the road to avoid a couple coming in the other direction, and the woman called out, “Thank you for protecting us!” confused How self-centred can you get? I was protecting me

LOL - first laugh of the thread, thank you!

[cornish009]

Shielding top trumps , how very tedious

We are also foster carers of two teenagers, mrsbyers - do I win?

And before anyone asks we have total support of children's services for our current decisions!

[Piggywaspushed]

OP, I think lots of people use it as a word to describe their category . My Df and DfIL are both shielded (DF got a letter last week!) And we use that as a term to describe their risk level. As it goes, neither have been out other than for the odd walk. But nor are they following to the letter the scary fullness of the guidelines.

It is easier for them as all 4 people involved are retired, so no decisions to make about work, school etc.

[Megatron]

Shielding top trumps , how very tedious

No, what IS tedious @mrsbyers is continually trying to brow-beat an OP who has already apologised about a thousand times and is clearly struggling with her situation. I'm not sure why you would get a kick out of it but hey ho.

[cornish009]

But as my Anxious year 6 Dc needed school for their mental health, and my other dc also had School places due to my illnesses, combined with DH job, We made the difficult decision for me to shield alone until the end of June before assessing our local area and hopefully reuniting then, so I'm now isolating on my own going into week 2

That must be really difficult, Notmyfirstusername - both for you and the rest of the family. But what a brave and special thing by putting your children first, and a prime example of a wonderful mother. I hope this week passes quickly for you, and in the meantime you are able to be kind to yourself in whatever way you can. And enjoy your grand renunion when you can - I plan to hug my grandchildren for a month once I feel it is safe!!!

[Northernsoulgirl45]

Op I am glad this thread has moved on and you have had more support. Shielding is hard however you interpret it.
My dh is shielding. He has not expected me or dc to shield with him. At the start I only left tbe house for groceries ( no mean feat with an ARFID child) and we had no help with delivery slots or food boxes. I lodt the will at one point and requested help. We now have a delivery slot so trips out are mainly or a walk for my physical and mental health. And sourcing particular food items. We have also allowed dd1 out to see her friends in a socially distanced way as she has lost so much. We are socially distancing in the home as much as possible.
However inlaws have made us feel like we are irresponsible and selfish. Apparently everyone has sacrificed so much to protect NHS and we are clearly bringing the whole system down by not locking ourselves away. Easy to say when you don't have kids.

[Bluesheep8]

I too assumed that shielding meant not going out at all, as my friend who has MS has been doing

Not everyone with MS has to shield. It depends on whether the person is taking medication for it.

[SauvignonBlanche]

You’ve certainly got your work cut out OP!

[Rubbleonthedouble1]

I do see where you are coming from. I got THE letter but we had already decided to shield as a family and so have been until the 16th March. I get where you are coming from. We have not left the house at all.

Then the guidance was updated to say we could go for a walk and so we have been. So yes I’m supposed to shield and we are following all guidance regarding shielding which says you can go for a walk.
Going for walks has done us all a lot of good!

[cornish009]

One of the worst things for me about coming out of shielding is that I'm forced to rely on other people to keep me safe and unfortunately most people are inherently selfish

Hearhoovesthinkzebras your whole post was exactly what I wanted to say if only I had been able to find the words! That's it, exactly!! What could be regarded by some as extreme measures HAVE to be taken to protect ourselves, as we never know what others may do if we do venture outside.

[cornish009]

My dh is shielding. He has not expected me or dc to shield with him. At the start I only left tbe house for groceries ( no mean feat with an ARFID child) and we had no help with delivery slots or food boxes. I lodt the will at one point and requested help. We now have a delivery slot so trips out are mainly or a walk for my physical and mental health. And sourcing particular food items. We have also allowed dd1 out to see her friends in a socially distanced way as she has lost so much. We are socially distancing in the home as much as possible

I so admire you for being able to do that, putting everyone's needs to the fore and not just your dh's issues! It must be stressful at times but it has worked for you so far, so congratulate you for taking a much more difficult path than me!

[cornish009]

You’ve certainly got your work cut out OP!

It gives me something to do!!! xx

[Iverunoutofnames]

DH is shielded. I have been going out and shopping and being careful. Online deliveries wouldn’t work for us, DD is coeliac and getting everything means changing supermarkets for the weekly shop week to week.
Early on we talked about him staying in one room away from us but frankly it wasn’t doable.
However his consultant has told him to keep shielding for the forceable future if he can. He doesn’t go out. I tried to suggest he went to a local quiet beauty spot today for a change of view and he has refused point blank.
We stopped DD going back to school because of it but she’s going back in September regardless, she needs it. I just hope things keep getting better for us all!

[Northernsoulgirl45]

Thank you Cornish

[ChavvySexPond]

YANBU.

It was my understanding that until very recently people who were Shielding were advised not to go out at all, certainly not for exercise or shopping.

Why else would there be food boxes being delivered and delivery slot priority schemes, prescription delivery etc?

Let's not revise history here. The shielding guidance advised that you should stay at home at all times until June 1st when it was changed to say that you may wish to spend some time outside your home once a day.