To ask if you naturally sit at *your* preferred weight

[Weighthate]

I just want to start off saying this isn't a thread to have a dig at people's sizes at all.

I was watching re-runs of Friends and Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are so skinny (to me) I wonder if people naturally sit at that slim level or if it has to be maintained with a lot of hard work and willpower.

When I was at my slimmest it became hard work for me to maintain. I gained some extra lbs and it was easy again. I now have (a lot of!) baby weight to shift before returning to work in 4 months. I'm just thinking how difficult it is going to be and will I now find it hard to maintain that weight once there (if ever there!)

Imagine if we all just stopped.

Yes, it would be so depressing. I like the way I look. Maintaining my current physique is no hardship, I enjoy it.

I was recently fondly remembering the times when I eat like a horse and was 10-12 "naturally". Hated exercise, not active etc.
Then I realised there was nothing natural about it! I hated gyms and pe at school, but I cycled everywhere, walked a lot, climbed trees, later did 100 sit ups and squats every night, had REALLY physically active jobs etc.
Because all this was just a normal thing for me, I never thought about it as an exercise (bar the sit ups and squats).
I also eat "clean", except alcohol, but beer is good for digestive so... Minimum of processed food.
So this is how the "naturally" slim people are slim imo. They do stuff without them and others realising they are doing it.

I could eat what I wanted until mid 30s and hovered around 8.12. Then, once DC were at school it became a big effort.

I remember reading an interview with Jennifer Anniston once where she said a special treat was half a bagel, hollowed out with a tablespoon of low fat cream cheese.

@dollyknocker I agree, tbh I decided decades ago that I am not meant to be slim, I've always been 'overweight' but I feel healthy as a size 14, my body seems to like it, never go to the doctors, never a day of work sick. Dating is great, no different to being slim.

I love food I eat healthily most of the time, so yes OP, I would say my body sits at a happy weight of around 12 stone.

• This thread is so depressing! Why do we all feel we have to deprive ourselves just to look a certain way? Yes, it's good to be healthy blah blah blah but there must be millions of women (and yes, some men but I'd guess to nowhere near such an extent) wasting SO much focus on what we eat and dont eat and for what? An extra stone or two maybe?

Imagine if we all just stopped.*

Interesting thought, but I’ve been a stone or two overweight and now am maintaining a healthy weight. I feel so much better and I enjoy life so much more. The more I exercise, the more energetic and robust I feel. I want to maintain this lifestyle even if sometimes it feels like I have to say no to myself.

I’d even go as far as to say I enjoy food even more because I’m not indulging all the time.

It’s not all about vanity, but there’s no denying I feel more confident when I’m a healthy weight too. A stone or two overweight is about 10-20% extra for most people and it doescome with health implications.

I sat at my natural weight until I was 30. I was put on an anti depressant and weight ballooned 10kg/1st 8lb in a month. I did get closer to that weight at weight watchers but now struggle with my weight a lot.

I know I might not have kept that weight as I got older but bitter at the psychiatrist that put me on the drug and kept it on after two weeks when I told him I was getting fat.

I was a size 4. (Us size 0).

I couldn't for the life of me put weight on.

I'm 40 now. I'm still a size 8. Everyone says they are envious of my figure.

The difference. I work damn hard now! I'm a bit of a fitness freak. My body is my temple. I can't eat much sugar. Otherwise I pour it onto my stomach.

My whole family are slim. I've had 2 children. My auntie has had 3 and sits at a size 6. My mother is short and not huge

My kids. Gosh. My husbands family are tiny! His mother wore a size 4 dress to our wedding. I was tiny. Genetic wise. My kids are tiny. They were both very premature. With growth restriction. Even now they are super skinny. We've seen all sorts of drs who eventually decided it was genetic. Which I'd been saying all along!

Also Jennifer Anniston was a huge fan of the Atkins diet. If anyone remembers that. So she ate no carbs. At all

I’d even go as far as to say I enjoy food even more because I’m not indulging all the time.

This! I am on cal counting (very very obese, but stone and half down, wohooo) and I found out that I am enjoying food so much more now because I moved from satisfaction by quantity to satisfaction by quality. I look forward to my meal time because it's actually tasty food I am making rather than just something meh thrown on a plate.

I can absolutely see I will continue this for ever tbh. Less, but better.

I'm 5'6 and my body wants to be 9st 8, I'd be more comfortable around 9st 2. Wouldn't want to be slimmer than that.

I stay at 10st whatever I eat-I’m tall too (6ft) so look slimmer, my mum and nan ante the same and my dd looks to be headed the same way too

*This! I am on cal counting (very very obese, but stone and half down, wohooo) and I found out that I am enjoying food so much more now because I moved from satisfaction by quantity to satisfaction by quality. I look forward to my meal time because it's actually tasty food I am making rather than just something meh thrown on a plate.

I can absolutely see I will continue this for ever tbh. Less, but better.*

Massive congrats on the weight loss! Def agree with quality over quantity. My tastebuds seem to change when cutting down on sugars and fats too. I once cut processed sugar out my diet completely and fruit began to taste incredible! I do eat processed sugar again but in much smaller doses and I’m definitely not as in to it as I used to be.

Yes.

I've been the same weight for nearly 40 years now. I still have a few old clothes that fit me well, size 12, but now I usually buy an 8, sometimes a 10. It's not me that's changed size.

I've always eaten what I like, but that seems to be much less than a lot of people - I worry that people will leave hungry when they come for a meal, so I'm careful to offer a lot more than I would want. I tend to just eat what I feel like, so might have about 6 crisps from a packet and then not fancy any more and put a clip on the packet for another day.

Since the menopause I seem to want less. I like small portions and my heart sinks if a huge plate of food is put in front of me. I prefer fresh tastes like fruit and vegetables to 'stodgy' carbs or rich foods. I absolutely hate feeling stuffed. If I've been having a lot to eat for a few days, perhaps out with other people, I will really enjoy having a very light meal for a couple of evenings, maybe just a bowl of soup.

I think I savour foods more than some people; I notice they'll put more in their mouths while I'm still thinking 'yum' from what I've just had in my mouth and I'm not quite ready for the next installment. I really enjoy one biscuit or a slice of cake with a cuppa, but don't fancy another.

@Goatinthegarden thank you and right back at you! That's very interesting about the fruit taste.

People just have to think about what they are eating and how active they are. Not obsess, just think is enough.

Yes. My bmi is 20.5 and I'm 62.
My weight has seldom varied over 40 years.

Lost a lot in my late 30s having babies but that went back on once i stopped BFing.
Lost a lot in the last year because of serious health issues and stress.
Now back to normal. I never diet.
I could weigh less but I'd have to change the dietary habits of lifetime. Since I'm not overweight it would just be vanity and I can't be bothered.

I just remembered a thread where OP wondered about naturally slim, or naturally faster metabolism because her and her friend eat the same (friend may have eaten more) and work same but friend was slimmer.
It turned out friend went for a run and kept getting up from table etc. It was interesting thread because people put their experiences of idle vs permanently moving, even if it's just tapping foot, people.

Yes - I have been the same weight since my teens and I am in my late 40s now. My natural weight is quite slim (about 110 pounds at 5 feet 2 inches). Interestingly, my mum, who is the same height as me, has always been slightly heavier than me, but also pretty much at an even weight all her life.

I don’t “watch my weight” at all. I eat normal meals, but I think the difference is that I don’t huge amounts of unhealthy snacks. So, for example, for lunch today I had a panini and a small custard tart (takeaway from a local cafe) but I would never snack on sweets and crisps at home - it’s just not part of my routine.

There was a programme on Channel 4 a few years ago called something like “Secrets of Skinny People” where they used cameras to film men and women over several days to monitor all of their activity and food intake - almost all of them were very active, perhaps not going to the gym but walking to and from work every day, running around at work, etc. Also they mostly either ate small portions at each meal (with no restrictions on what they ate) or were essentially intermittent fasting by not eating breakfast and not snacking in the evenings.

A bit or searching and I found it! It was broadcast 3 years ago and was called The Truth About Slim People, and might be available on All4.

This is a summary of the programme and the man and woman they followed: www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/4849997/how-people-keep-thin-with-unhealthy-diets/

I "naturally" sit around the 10 stone mark, if I'm sensible about what I eat and keep half an eye on it. It's a bit more than I'd like, tbh, and I'd rather be around the 9 stone 8 sort of mark. But that requires proper dedicated effort.
If I slack off watching what I eat, I'll quickly get to the bordering 11 stone area. I know that's too much for my frame, because my knees start to give me trouble.

I have been the same weight since I was about 19. I'm now 33 weigh between 45-49 kilos. I'm 5'5" I can eat whatever I want whenever I want and I find it very hard to actually put on weight. On the other hand if I skip lunch for a few days in a row I will drop weight really fast.

I have a 2 yr old and I weight exactly the same now as I did before I got pregnant. It took me a year to go back to normal after having her, and I didn't do anything in that time to shed weight.

I never exercise, never been to the gym or running or been on a diet. Very occasionally I do yoga, I never think about what I'm eating, calories, what I look like or what I weigh, it never crosses my mind.

Tbh I find it hard to understand how people pile on weight while claiming to not be eating that much and being on a diet. Just because it's so far away from my own reality. In the same way I've had abuse from friends and family claiming I must be secretly bulimic or something because of the amount I eat and how small I am.

And tbh if I could choose I would love a bit more weight round my hips and bum that would be great!

@ZaraW

The women in Friends are simply too thin.

I agree. I remember Lisa Kudrow said she was k own as the "fat one" when she was in Friends when she obviously wasn't.

That's awful! Lisa Kudrow obviously has a bigger frame than the other two - you can see her ribcage is more prominent, especially in later seasons - so she's less slender, but certainly still very slim. Must have been really difficult for her self esteem.

Look up set point theory - our bodies all have a weight they like to sit at. Yes, it may be heavier than you would like but it’s where your body will be it’s healthiest. Eat whole foods, move daily and LISTEN to your hunger signals. It’s that simple.
Calorie counting and restriction IS NOT healthy. Period.

I've maintained my weight with little effort. I'm 45 and like to be active which does help. I do like my chocolate but I am aware of bad eating habits, of when my activity levels drop and my now slower metabolism so that's how I keep it stable.
I do think you need to make a bit of an effort and have an awareness of your lifestyle to manage it.