To be so irritated by poor spelling and vocabulary?

[Positivevibesonlyplease]

OK, it could be weeks of lockdown having finally got to me, but when I just read two posts with the phrases, ‘couldn’t get passed,’ (meaning ‘past’) and ‘by her own omission,’ (meaning ‘admission’), I felt compelled to start an AIBU. It’s bad enough reading the FB ‘Your doing great’ and ‘I love you’re new dog’ posts. Oh, ‘their’ much worse at spelling on FB...etc. Yes, in these turbulent times, I know I shouldn’t be wasting my energies on such crap, but sometimes focusing on trivia keeps us sane. So, AIBU? Anyone else as irritated as I am?

I used to be a spelling and grammar pedant. I even used to rub out rogue apostrophes on pub chalk boards. But now, with the benefit of tolerance learned over time, I can overlook it. Especially if someone has, for example, posted a heartfelt and sincere message that deserves a sympathetic response.
No judgement here any more. In fact, I can hardly believe I was ever such a snob.

Yanbu but I try not to think so much about it when

• we're on an internet forum
• phones
• people are asking for help

If I can understand it then I go with it. There was one post in employment I think and posters were being really nice and saying it's obvious that English isnt your first language. Only it was her first language.

Having worked in a prison the poverty that some of those guys came from was unimaginable. Barely any schooling. So I try not to blame them. The people who I judge most are those I went to school with tbh. I know you were in that lesson - why havent you got it right!?

For me, it completely depends on the context. Poor SPAG doesn’t really bother me on Mumsnet as long as the meaning can still be ascertained. This is an informal site which welcomes all views. People have the right to share their opinions even if they aren’t expressed grammatically correctly.

In other contexts (work, news articles, advertisements etc.) I find it much more annoying, and I do think it affects credibility.

I no exactly what I mean it greats on me two.

So, to those who are still reading. This is a forum, which should be inclusive. It's for the general public. I don't have expectations of grammatical perfection as I have no idea of background or needs, and I don't need to know. I only stop reading if I'm bored, or the mistakes make it impossible to understand.

I am bothered by mistakes in professional texts. The BBC News website is full of mistakes. I came onto here this morning as I gave up on a poorly written article about Covid in Brazil.

Teachers' mistakes are also really frustrating. There have been many from DD's school during lockdown. I can tolerate typos, but I find extra apostrophes and incorrect words, e,g. confusion of affect and effect really infuriating.

. The people who I judge most are those I went to school with tbh. I know you were in that lesson - why havent you got it right!?

Because they don't have the exact same brain as you. DD is severely dyslexic and her best friend in the same class is one of those who spelling etc comes naturally to. You'd assumed her work was from a child years older whereas DD's is often barely legible no matter how hard she tries. She can practice a spelling a hundred times then go back to it the next day and get it wrong again. She's trying so hard just getting things down that the grammar and punctuation part often slips too even though she knows it. There's a whole spectrum in between these two types too and even more so years ago when understanding of these issues were less, so many struggling kids would have been missed or just assumed less able when they actually had a learning disability. Just because you picked it up easily, doesn't mean others in your class did!

@Meredithgrey1 I’m not sure I know the corrrect use of less and/or fewer.

I only know it because my mum drilled it into us, I'm sure I was never taught at school. That's why it doesn't bother me really when I see it somewhere like mumsnet. It annoys me more if it's in an article, written by someone whose job is writing and communicating with words. They should know the difference.
The difference (if you were actually asking) is you use fewer when you're talking about plurals eg if you've eaten half a cake there is now less cake, but fewer slices. But if you had multiple cakes and you've eaten some, there are now fewer cakes (but less cake overall). Basically if you replace the word less/fewer with the phrase "not as many" and it makes sense, then fewer is correct. "Not as many slices" makes sense and so it's "fewer slices", "not as many cake" doesn't make sense so it's "less cake".

YANBU. There’s simply no excuse for it when there are infinite resources out there for people to educate themselves.

They just can’t be bothered and think their poor SPaG should be accepted because of [insert reason here]. All it does is show me that you have a problem you’ve chosen not to fix, so yes, I will judge you for that.

Oops quote failure. Now it looks like I was replying to myself!

@midnightstar66 good point about dyslexia, but this was a grammar school and most of them are teachers now. While that doesnt rule out dyslexia I highly doubt it to be the case.

Is your dd getting any sort of help? That does sound miserable. And sounds like a boy I went to junior school with.

Well my dd is not very good at spelling so she uses spell check. She does judge people who don't bother with that.

My mum had the worst upbringing ever, palmed off on any one who would have her, virtually no education. She made these kinds of mistakes all the time and her hand writing was virtually illegible. She spent her whole life frightened of speaking to new people in case they thought she was thick and terrified of having to write. Absolutely zero confidence. I always tried to convince her that no one would care but there are actually a lot of judgy cunts in the world.

I would have (of?! ) agreed with you a few years ago OP. I was incredibly pedantic about - and frankly judgemental of - text speak, basic grammatical errors or poor spelling.

My DH is dyslexic, it was picked up early and he's worked incredibly hard to learn how to spell and check his work. If he can still spell and use grammar correctly 95% of the time then anyone can!

Or so I thought.

DS really, REALLY struggles with working memory and is possibly dyslexic as well, and finds it incredibly difficult to retain information on how to spell words, especially which version of similar sounding words like there / their to use. I'm not sure he'll ever get it.

It's made me a lot more tolerant and understanding of poor SPAG.

Correct spelling and grammar is importantly to me - I actually recall correcting the graffiti in the bogs at school...but then I grew up, and realised that everyone hadn’t had the same educational opportunities as me. And dyslexia is real and causes very significant problems for people. So YADBU

And look at that - typo slips into my post - #itcanhappentoanyone

Standards of literacy do seem to have gone down over the last 30 years. There doesn't seem to be any emphasis on grammar or spelling at school - much more emphasis on relying on computer software to pick up mistakes, or being able to produce a PowerPoint presentation IMO.
I get wound up when I receive blog posts written by teachers that have grammatical mistakes.

This is different to making an error simply because one is typing on a phone or too quickly

My SPAG isn't perfect, sometimes there are typos (especially on a cracked phone screen, with blind spots) but my more basic points of repetitive language are good and my errors tend to be on less frequently used words, especially when a vowel sound is difficult to distinguish.

What I type on MN is not reflective of what I create in a professional setting with a PC and spell check.

99% of the time I overlook errors on MN. Occasionally something is pretty incoherent and not worth the effort of deciphering. The only times I have gone into pedant mode have been when an OP has been quite virulently and persitently anti-teacher/ school which is ironic given the quality of the post. The general standard of literacy here is high for an informal media, and about the same as my local newspaper

There is a general social issue where certain errors become so widespread that they become normalised. "Que" for queue is one that wasn't widespread before social media but is misspelled so often that people are increasingly thinking it's a proper spelling.

I have many dyslexic friends who professionally are quite rigorous about spell checking and getting others to proof read.

She kind of gets help @Strictly it's a large school with only 1 ASN teacher and there are many DC that need it more than her sadly. She wasn't going to get any extra literally support at all this year, I had to push for it. Apparently she'll get more support at high school. I help her as much as I can but retaining the information is a big problem so she unlearns stuff even if she's perfected it previously. I can't afford private help unfortunately. DD2 is the total opposite.

@heartsonacake

All it does is show me that you have a problem you’ve chosen not to fix, so yes, I will judge you for that.

Oh wow, do you go around saying that to disabled people or homeless people too?

YANBU

Been instead of being.
Brought instead of bought.
Are instead of our.
There/they’re/their.... grrrrr
It’s instead of its.
Apostrophes for plurals!
A question mark at the end of a statement.

The most irritating.... writing whole paragraphs without a full stop in sight. What’s all that about? It’s impossible to make head nor tail of what’s being said at times.

I’ve worked in a primary school and was shocked that many TAs and even teachers can’t get basic grammar. No wonder people grow up having no clue.

nanbread it has occurred to you that there are different degrees of dyslexia, hasn’t it? Your DH isn’t the dyslexia benchmark. 🙄

YANBU

Some mistakes are so common that people who don't know better just might think that the incorrect spelling/usage are actually accurate! One in particular grates as it is ubiquitous here (I have never seen this misuse elsewhere) is loose being written for lose. How could people not know the difference?

There was one thread which I could not get past 10 posts because the OP used "cos" for because. Once or twice I'll ignore, but it was a word she used (over)frequently and it just started to grate. Even my primary aged DS that she could have used "cause" and been more accurate!

@Allinadaystwerk

It does grate on me a bit but remember not everyone has had a good education. Some people just do not know the fundamentals of good puntuation, spelling and grammar. Does not mean they should not be allowed to post without being judged. I tend to push through it and accept the effort even though it hurts my brain a little

But the vast, vast majority of people have been through at least 11 years of education, and I refuse to believe that every English teacher they ever encountered them taught them that "could of" or "We wasn't" are acceptable.

I'm a foreign language teacher. I teach adults who are learning for general interest etc rather than to pass exams.
I generally go with the fact that as long as you can make yourself understood in the foreign language then that's OK. Many adults are nervous of trying out a foreign language but native speakers of that language are very much appreciative of the fact that the person tried. Then after a while we'll do more specific things if that's what they want to do.
Applying the same theory to English, I often read things posted on a forum and think to myself that a foreign person wouldn't have a clue what the poster was on about.... Chester draws... That kind of thing.
Posting casually on a forum is always going to flag up different levels of language. Some of the errors are typos / auto correct. We've all done it. But there are times when I think to myself how can you possibly think that's the right word.
When I was a school teacher, if the kids were late, the policy was that they had to fill in a form explaining why they were late. I had more than a few kids who wrote.... I was late the smorning because.... It was like a light bulb going on when I explained what the word should have been.

There was a thread on here yesterday where the OP was asking for advice as she was living in a very sad domestic abuse situation. Some awful person decided to pick her up on her grammar.

I could work on my grammar there is definitely room for improvement! Lots of Facebook posts make me cringe with the word 'are' when they mean 'our' but I'm not a dick therefore I don't belittle people over it.

I've spotted few where I was so sure the person wasn't native English speaker due to use of some words and syntax, just to later see that they were indeed native English speaker😳 Now, that confuses me.