"Well, Liam and Alex go to school, but you just let us stay home"

[letsgoschool]

Is what my 7 year old DS said to me today. I’m one of those parents who chose to keep my children at home even after the school had opened. They speak to the neighbours kids when they are in the garden, some of their parents are key workers and have been at school from day one, others are not and were sent back to school when they opened.

DS knows about the coronavirus as he watches the news and we’ve spoken about it. In the beginning he understood, and was ok with it but as time has gone on and he’s seeing the neighbours kids go to school, he says “ well Liam and Alex go to school, and they don’t get sick. Why can’t we? But you just keep us at home”

It broke my heart, I didn’t even know what to say. How do I explain this?

@Stompythedinosaur

We've told our dc that different families are making different decisions about whether to send dc back to school, that their dad and I have read the scientific research available and we don't feel it is safe to go back yet.

Well if you arent vulnerable or shielding then you'll just have to tell him its because of your own fear.

What utter rubbish.

It's not rubbish at all, it's the truth. Doesn't matter where the fear has come from, it's still the reason why OP didn't want to send her kid to school. Her own fear and anxiety will cause her child to miss out on an education and socialisation. (Yes, I'm aware his year group aren't back, I'm speaking as if they were as that's what OP thought)

Just released his year group hasn't even gone back yet 🤣 at our school, it's only kids from reception, year 1 and 6 that's gone back. Our neighbours kids are in year 1, DS is in year 2. I'll tell him that tbh, thanks

While this is the 'easy option', I do think it might be worth telling him the truth? Yeah it turns out hes not one of those who can go back, but you thought he was and were still not going to send him. While I do understad why its tempting to take this route, I also think..kids should know whats going on. Might turn out that his year go back soon..and you would be in same situation again?

Obviously up to you though. My 7YO is dying to go back..her little brother went back on Monday..so he is finding it unfair that he is going when shes not, but shes jealous that hes able..would have been better the other way around, but younger one has been awkward about working at home for a few weeks now..seemed to just get very bored of not seeing his mates so while he claims hes not happy back, I can see a big change from th 2 days he has had.

Mind..obviously 'know whats going on' but in an age appropriate way. Dhs cousins wife told her children that they were not going back as there was a good chance they would get very ill ad possibly even die. Which was a great thing to tell a 3YO and 6YO Common sense seems lacking in her sometimes. Kids are now terrified to leave the house even to g in the blody garden.

and it clearly said deaths with covid not from - it put all into perspective.

Yes this has been a seemingly common issue with the reporting. 4 of the deaths I know about were actually from 'normal' causes. Someone had a stroke, who had a history of strokes so it wouldn't be unusual, but as they tested positive, it was a covid death. Huge huge difference between dying of it and dying with it IMO. A lot will die with it, when they might have died anyway. Its a hard thing to measure though, as obviously noone has a crystal ball and finding a single cause is not always easy.

Mind we also know of one suicide. In someone with a long history of mental health problems. Which was also apparently a covid death as she was positive after dying. I don't actually understand why they would test someone who committed suicide though? I understand random hospital deaths and such, but bit seems a waste, in someone who clearly did not die of covid as they sadly took their own life instead.

Obviously its not just deaths that are worrying people though. But the press seem to have purposely made things out to be a lot worse than they seem. Spent weeks telling us stepping outside is a huge risk, then suddenly were taking the piss out of those who daren't go out. Its been handled horrifically IMO..from all bloody angles. Its confused people, worried some a lot, made others think its nothing at all to worry about..when factual reporting would surely be the best way to go! But facst in the press seem rare in general these days tbh

*4 of the deaths I know about were actually from 'normal' causes.

(Or so family members of the deceased have said)

That should have been. I don't have access to official figures broken down or anything, this is just those in/around my area who I know.

Well if you arent vulnerable or shielding then you'll just have to tell him its because of your own fear.

This. With bells on.
Or you could grow up, prioritise you child's welfare and send him back to as soon as he's allowed.

Also if it IS simply that you do not feel safe, I would just tell them that tbh. Say parents are deciding and you have decided no for now but you are keeping an eye on things and it might change soon once more is known.

The sneery type responses on here are quite bad I think. It is everyones individual choice and some are more worried than others. Yes the data looks to say kids are very safe, especially in comparison to anyone else..but still. Its OPs right to keep hers off if she is worried, no good sending them in and sitting anxious all day about it. While the option is there to keep them off, a lot of parents will. I do blame the reporting on this over all else though, as its been so over the top of course its put the fear of god into some people.

I was following it on the news myself to start with and was extremely concered. Eventually moved onto reading scientific papers/studies and such (mind don't uderstand a bit of it but most of it is easy enough to read) instead and became a hell of a lot less worried over time. Now when I watch the news, it seems like purposeful scaremongering and annoys me slightly tbh. So irresponsible, and swings back and forth day to day between 'this will wipe out humanity!!' and 'what are you worried about, dont be a baby!' which is also..shit.

Just say: some children have to go because their parents are keyworkers but there is still a risk to health and whilst some parents are happy with the risk, I am not so you will not be returning before September and only then if I am happy that the situation has sufficiently approved.

Say it kindly but in a no nonsense manner: do not be apologetic. You're the adult and it's your decision.

What happens when it then becomes compulsory to send children back to school?

You'll no longer have the option to "keep them at home just in case" and will have not just your child to explain to but the school as well.

A good friend of mine lives in the south of France and says that the local primary schools are now back fully and attendance is no longer voluntary.

In general, people have sent their children back apart from if they have a chronic illness/are shielding and is perfectly understandable.

When the primaries first went back in early May, think the uptake was around 50%

@Lancrelady80 "My ds was absolutely obsessed with the daily briefing and idolised Matt, Boris et al."

Fascinating demonstration that Matt, Boris et al are pitching their presentations for people with a six-year-old's brain. Which seems about right given the current cabinet.

If your school allows other years to go back, I don't think you should tell him the truth OP, as I don't think you should pass your irrational anxieties on to your child. He should not be made to feel that going to school may be unsafe.

I think you'd have to tell them only certain children were let back (eg key workers) and hope that his classmates forget and font Talk about it in September.

But honestly OP, I mean this kindly but try and educate yourself on data and risk, as the cold hard statistics show there is virtually no risk.

What happens when it then becomes compulsory to send children back to school?

School isn't compulsory, in England and Wales, but providing your children with an education is.

It's not rubbish at all, it's the truth. Doesn't matter where the fear has come from, it's still the reason why OP didn't want to send her kid to school. Her own fear and anxiety will cause her child to miss out on an education and socialisation. (Yes, I'm aware his year group aren't back, I'm speaking as if they were as that's what OP thought)

If I was as judgemental as you Greyt if be telling my dc that unfortunately some parents aren't able to read and understand the current research so they believe the government when they tell them it is safe. I could also say that unfortunately some parents aren't managing to give their dc an adequate education at home so feel it's better to risk sending them to school.

Obviously I don't, because I try to appreciate that people come from different situations and see things differently, so make different decisions. But don't assume that your capacity to criticize and belittle the op makes you correct!

I’d check the school’s risk assessment and how they’re dealing with the plethora of risks from CV. Your headteacher should be keeping parents fully informed of who has been invited in and their expectations. You’ll be able to make an informed decision - don’t assume the media are correct!

School isn't compulsory, in England and Wales, but providing your children with an education is

So I guess my point is, are the parents who choose not to send their children back to school going to withdraw them and start formally homeschooling? For how long can they hold onto a state school place, waiting till it's the "right time" to send them back?

I appreciate that every family has it's own set of circumstances & reasons why they cannot/do not wish to send their children back to school, but I think the above is a fair question.

Stop being such a fanny. The world's gone mad.

I'm in England and my 7yr old has gone back to school as it is now open for all year groups (classes split in 2 bubbles, one doing mornings, the other afternoons).

I know his school seems to be the exception to the rule but don't assume all schools are only open for Rec,Y1 and Y6.

@PissedOff27

Stop being such a fanny. The world's gone mad.

😂

@letsgoschool

I'm not shielding or vulnerable, I just don't feel safe yet. I want to see how things go first.

You will damage him because of your unfounded anxiety. Very sad

Stop being such a fanny. The world's gone mad

@letsgoschool

Just released his year group hasn't even gone back yet 🤣 at our school, it's only kids from reception, year 1 and 6 that's gone back. Our neighbours kids are in year 1, DS is in year 2. I'll tell him that tbh, thanks

Really? Come on OP, you can’t seriously expect us to believe that?!

Jesus. Surely nobody can really be this badly informed? And die those saying basically it's good for the OP to make her own decisions about keeping her child off school - not on this bloody evidence it's not. Out of interest, what home schooling are you doing with this poor child?

Well once his year go back and if you decide not to send him in then tell him why. If you decide to keep him home then your issue to explain surely

I get your sons year is not back at school yet but in your original scenario why would it have been breaking your heart that your child's not at school when the only thing stopping him is you!