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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Well, Liam and Alex go to school, but you just let us stay home"

176 replies

letsgoschool · 19/06/2020 15:53

Is what my 7 year old DS said to me today. I’m one of those parents who chose to keep my children at home even after the school had opened. They speak to the neighbours kids when they are in the garden, some of their parents are key workers and have been at school from day one, others are not and were sent back to school when they opened.

DS knows about the coronavirus as he watches the news and we’ve spoken about it. In the beginning he understood, and was ok with it but as time has gone on and he’s seeing the neighbours kids go to school, he says “ well Liam and Alex go to school, and they don’t get sick. Why can’t we? But you just keep us at home”

It broke my heart, I didn’t even know what to say. How do I explain this?

OP posts:
Ginandbearit1 · 19/06/2020 16:32

Jesus...

WaterOffADucksCrack · 19/06/2020 16:32

If you keep him off when school is open to him you'll need to explain different families have different circumstances. The way you say "some were sent back from day one" sounds a bit judgemental tbh. Explain "X has gone back because his parents work" or "sometimes the right decision for one family isn't the right decision for another family" etc.

Some parents are oversharing with their children. My son's gone throughout as we're all front line. He's heard "my mummy said children shouldn't be at school yet", even "my parents said other mummies and daddies don't care about their children getting the virus" etc.

oldwhyno · 19/06/2020 16:33

Despite not having reached the same decision myself, I respect your decision. so you can respect your own decision and own it. Be honest with your kids. you've made your own judgement of the risk/reward. the government have made return to school option for exactly this reason, tell them that too.

AvoidingRealHumans · 19/06/2020 16:34

This made me laugh.
I would still tell him your reasons as that is why you kept him off (so you thought).

You can't expect others to come up with an excuse for your son when in reality it was you being hysterical.

Oaktree55 · 19/06/2020 16:35

@oldwhyno

Despite not having reached the same decision myself, I respect your decision. so you can respect your own decision and own it. Be honest with your kids. you've made your own judgement of the risk/reward. the government have made return to school option for exactly this reason, tell them that too.
Exactly this! Biggest opportunity to teach our kids to be confident, independent they’re ever likely to get during school years.
englebertsausagedog · 19/06/2020 16:36

Even I knew which years were back at school and I don't even have children. JFC.

WaterOffADucksCrack · 19/06/2020 16:36

If his yeargroup isn’t back, its because his friend’s parents are keyworkers, so he isn’t allowed back, as unfair as it is. why is that unfair? And who is it unfair to?

MinorArcana · 19/06/2020 16:36

Well, if his year group isn’t back at your school, then it’s not possible for him to go regardless of how you feel. So tell him his year group isn’t allowed back yet.

But if the school sent an email out saying Year 2 could go back, and you still choose to keep him at home, then explain why. He’s old enough to deserve an explanation.

FishAreAcquaintancesNotFood · 19/06/2020 16:38

I am less than convinced about this thread.

But if it's real OP just tell him you think it's safer at home.

Thisismytimetoshine · 19/06/2020 16:40

Biggest opportunity to teach our kids to be confident, independent they’re ever likely to get during school years.

Can you expand on this?! Making the decision (which wasn't a decision at all in op's case but we'll gloss over that...) to keep your child out of school will teach them to be confident and independent?

CurtainWitcher · 19/06/2020 16:41

Blimey. You've only just realised that his school year isn't going back yet? How thick can you get?!

Thisismytimetoshine · 19/06/2020 16:42

Ah, g'wan, op, send him back... Grin

Sandybval · 19/06/2020 16:42

That's quite worrying you only just realised his year group hasn't gone back already Confused. Although more than likely guessing you thought people would offer really sympathetic answers rather than the reality of just tell the truth.

Oaktree55 · 19/06/2020 16:44

@Thisismytimetoshine

Biggest opportunity to teach our kids to be confident, independent they’re ever likely to get during school years.

Can you expand on this?! Making the decision (which wasn't a decision at all in op's case but we'll gloss over that...) to keep your child out of school will teach them to be confident and independent?

Yes. It’s a life lesson in critical thinking, have you researched this virus which is very much still a novel pathogen. Have you weighed up ADE which hasn’t been discounted, as a reason why children so far less affected? My point is it’s a huge opportunity to not listen to “advice and guidance” which to date has been erroneous in many cases and to read and to try to make their own decisions in life not follow the herd!
Yerroblemom1923 · 19/06/2020 16:45

Let him go back.

Thisismytimetoshine · 19/06/2020 16:45

The child isn't doing any critical thing 🤣

Thisismytimetoshine · 19/06/2020 16:46

Thinking, that is; or indeed making any decisions. What absolute rot!

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 19/06/2020 16:48

How much critical thinking can there be , if OP didn't even realise that her kid wasn't due to go back anyways?

Devlesko · 19/06/2020 16:48

Just tell him they are key workers.
Explain they are allowed to go and he isn't, quite yet.

GrandAltogetherSo · 19/06/2020 16:50

Our schools have finished for the summer (Ireland) so mine won’t be going back until September at the earliest.

Saves any angst really.

Juliet2014 · 19/06/2020 16:51

What baffles me is that you didn’t realise the year groups that have gone back.

The papers, the TV, mumsnet - it has been covered extensively. And passed you by.

That is the mainly baffling element of this story.

Juliet2014 · 19/06/2020 16:52

* The child isn't doing any critical thing*

Nor is the parent on this instance.
And presumably this parent is home schooling.
Makes me very worried.

Oaktree55 · 19/06/2020 16:57

@Juliet2014

* The child isn't doing any critical thing*

Nor is the parent on this instance.
And presumably this parent is home schooling.
Makes me very worried.

Each to their own and nobody, not even the brightest minds in the world understand this virus yet. I have no issue with anyone’s decision what I do have issue with is people proclaiming “kids aren’t at risk”. This is not yet known. Some are prepared to take the risk, some aren’t which is fine. What isn’t fine is making unsubstantiated scientific assertions. This virus is very new!
maddiemookins16mum · 19/06/2020 16:59

Is he going out at all, Supermarket, shop, a trip to the beach? I know parents who feel it’s unsafe but are happy to attend BBQs and visit Hastings for an ice-cream.

heartsonacake · 19/06/2020 16:59

He’s right, YABU. You are selfishly keeping him home because of your anxiety and being a detriment to his education.

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