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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh has a fever and a cough and we are afraid of coronavirus - need to talk

181 replies

Flyingfish2019 · 18/06/2020 15:26

Hello,
Just need to talk. Dh has combat ptsd and has been very afraid of the coronavirus ever since this started.
None of us has left the house much and dh works from home and only left the house after nightfall to go jogging (alone) because he was afraid of meeting other people.

Now dh has a fever and a cough. The rest of us are okay. Dh is self isolating now and very afraid and to be honest I feel a bit afraid too.

He doesn’t want to see a gp because he is afraid of catching the coronavirus if he doesn’t already have it.

He has a fever and a cough but NO loss of smell or taste.

OP posts:
Minniee · 18/06/2020 19:38

He should be able to get a test at a centre tomorrow if he calls tonight.

Literally drive up, stay in car and do the swab yourself.

Marmunia1975 · 18/06/2020 20:09

Don't panic - my DH had a cough and a very mild fever after his colleague tested positive. He had loss of smell and taste for weeks. I had a niggly cough with night sweats and DD had a mild cough. We are fine now!

Original poster
Flyingfish2019 · 18/06/2020 20:53

I talked to my dh and he said he might decide to get a test done.

@frumpety Hypertension was diagnosed by our gp. He is not taking medication. I am not sure if our gp wants him to take medication. I know he wanted to talk to him - also about his lifestyle but dh decided not to go. It’s a long story. He basically hates/fears the whole medical profession. Don’t get me wrong. He doesn’t hate the people, but he associates them with illness... and now that corona is around it makes it worse.
Like I mentioned his friend had sepsis.
Dh had a negative experience in hospital when he had injuries and was put on painkiller medication and that medication made him have the worst kind of nightmares and also he saw things that weren’t there when half awake. Really scary things.

I am not 100 percent sure what his BMI is but he is a bit pudgy.

OP posts:
Mulhollandmagoo · 18/06/2020 21:35

Based on your most recent post, if your husband is so anxious about the medical profession then you'll just all need to self isolate for 14 days then he won't need to be tested or anything, would this ease his anxieties? Or does it go further than that? Is he frightened of needing to go into hospital? But as previous posts have suggested, he definitely shouldn't go to his GP or to the hospital as he is showing covid symptoms

Original poster
Flyingfish2019 · 18/06/2020 21:51

Yes. I think he is also afraid of needing to go to the hospital.
Dh already started self isolating and the rest of the family is also isolating but none of the rest of us is having any symptoms.

OP posts:
ListeningQuietly · 18/06/2020 21:55

Get a telephone appointment with the GP
or a video one
then he can explain how he feels and what the symptoms are
from the safety of home

or call 111 and chat to them

but DO NOT suffer alone

Bluntness100 · 18/06/2020 21:56

Has any of you been in contact with anyone else? If not he doesn’t have it, it’s something else.

It’s not airborne op.

Original poster
Flyingfish2019 · 18/06/2020 22:00

We have mostly isolated, kids have been in contact with kids from another likeminded family - but only outside and I told them to keep a distance. The father works from home and they have their food delivered like we do.

I have met with a friend but also outside and kept a safe distance.

OP posts:
JinglingHellsBells · 18/06/2020 22:08

You cannot guarantee children keep their distance and it sounds as if you weren't actually watching them all of the time.

They could have caught it from their friends. You could have it and be symptom free.

BendyLikeBeckham · 18/06/2020 22:10

OP, this is important. He has to be tested within 5 days of showing symptoms. Day 1 to 4 you can order a postal test or book a test centre. Day 5 he has to visit a test centre.

Don't delay. They will not test after day 5 as it won't work.

JinglingHellsBells · 18/06/2020 22:10

It’s not airborne op.

what????
@Bluntness100
It is most certainly airborne! Why else would we be told to stay 2 mtrs apart?

It's possible to be infected by someone's breath, hence the 2 mtr rule and use of PPE and masks!.

It's not simply a contact caught virus if that's what you're thinking.

Surely this has been drummed home over the last 12 weeks?

JinglingHellsBells · 18/06/2020 22:11

@ListeningQuietly The GP will tell him to contact a test centre and attend for swab, or to order a test via the gov uk website.

Don't waste drs time by phoning. The Gov uk website is crystal clear on what to do if you have any symptoms.

Original poster
Flyingfish2019 · 18/06/2020 22:13

@JinglingHellsBells Nobody in the other family has been sick + they are isolating + our kids have not been sick. I still think it is unlikely. I hope he gets a test and I think he will tomorrow but I still do think it most likely will be negative.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 18/06/2020 22:15

Why else would we be told to stay 2 mtrs apart

Clearly I meant airBourne as in it’s not floating about in the air for gods sake, clearly if someone coughs or sneezes on you it is.

As they’ve not been near anyone they can’t just catch it from the air.

Op, he doesn’t have it, he has something else.

Writerandreader · 18/06/2020 22:23

Children are very unlikely.. Like vanishingly unlikely.. To have passed it on outdoors. Outfoor transmission is very rare. Children transmit much less than adults.

Also the virus barely exists in the community now. In most of UK virus is not there. Numbers if cases are hospitals and care homes mainly

Op it's mainly passed on indoors in crowded settings it from prolonged close contact.

DianaT1969 · 18/06/2020 22:37

You may have read about vitamin D in relation to Covid. I'm not sure if it's going to help at this stage if he does have it, but you could buy the spray with K2 (Holland & Barrett or Amazon online). If it's sunny and he can sit outside in the middle of the day then he should.
Possibly no help as it takes time to build up in the body, but can't hurt.

PrayingandHoping · 18/06/2020 22:58

It doesn't matter if people aren't showing symptoms!!!!!

Plenty of people have been proven to have had Covid with ZERO symptoms

You all need to isolate, you need to tell your friend you spent time with even at a social distance and your husband needs a test. You can get a home kit, he doesn't need to go anywhere

KitchenConfidential · 18/06/2020 23:14

So actually your household has several points at which they might have come into contact with the virus, albeit not high risk ones. And it really doesn’t matter if none of them have been ill, you can be asymptomatic and still be a carrier.

You all need to isolate for 14 days and that truly means isolate, Not seeing some friends outside at a distance for any of you. And he needs to get a test ASAP. Why don’t you register him to get a test done at the drive thru tomorrow? You can do that and just say we’re going. You get handed the stuff through the window. He swabs himself and hands it back. 24 hours later you get a text or email to tell you the results. Easy as pie.

FedUpOfChangingName · 18/06/2020 23:46

Regardless of you and the children not having symptoms.
NOONE must leave the house for 14 days if your husband doesnt get a test or if he does, noone is to leave untill he had a clear negative result.

People can be symptom less so you just never know who could of gave it to him

Bluntness100 · 19/06/2020 06:16

For goodness sake, he doesn’t have it, it’s something else. It’s 99.99999 percent guaranteed.

understandmenow · 19/06/2020 07:01

He is being totally unreasonable "he might decide to get a test", just order the tests online for all of you!

If you'd ordered them yesterday when you first came on and we're advised to, chances were you'd have got them today and know the responses within 48 hours.

I'm not sure why you can't just go on and order the tests?

My brother (and his partner) had to do the same as my brother had symptoms, they were negative all good and they could return to work. If he wants to self isolate for 7 days and the rest of you for 14 days, I suppose that's up to you, but seems ridiculous to me.

SunshineCake · 19/06/2020 07:15

@Bluntness100

For goodness sake, he doesn’t have it, it’s something else. It’s 99.99999 percent guaranteed.
Where did you get your medical degree that you can diagnose over the internet?
MollyButton · 19/06/2020 07:49

It is airborne or at least small enough to remain in the air for up to 3 hours. According to the latest research.
The keeping windows open etc is to reduce viral load.

Bluntness100 · 19/06/2020 07:54

Where did you get your medical degree that you can diagnose over the internet

You don’t need a medical degree to critical think. They have all been isolating, in the households who they have been in contact with and less than 0.06 percent of the population have it.

He clearly doesn’t have it.

YouokHun · 19/06/2020 07:57

As others have mentioned I think he really needs to get in touch with Combat Stress who will understand his health anxiety in the context of his ptsd. He can do this today and they are able to offer remote support.

www.combatstress.org.uk/get-help