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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dh has a fever and a cough and we are afraid of coronavirus - need to talk

181 replies

Flyingfish2019 · 18/06/2020 15:26

Hello,
Just need to talk. Dh has combat ptsd and has been very afraid of the coronavirus ever since this started.
None of us has left the house much and dh works from home and only left the house after nightfall to go jogging (alone) because he was afraid of meeting other people.

Now dh has a fever and a cough. The rest of us are okay. Dh is self isolating now and very afraid and to be honest I feel a bit afraid too.

He doesn’t want to see a gp because he is afraid of catching the coronavirus if he doesn’t already have it.

He has a fever and a cough but NO loss of smell or taste.

OP posts:
StrawberryJam200 · 18/06/2020 15:52

There are thousands and thousands of people, millions around the world who have recovered from coronavirus. Getting it is not a problem for the vast majority of people, even if older people actually!!

Please don't worry. You might like to go to a test centre because you get the results more quickly, I got mine less than 24 hrs after booking.

BeeFarseer · 18/06/2020 15:52

Get him tested, that's the main thing. Your husband needs to isolate for 7 days, or until the fever is gone if that lasts longer than 7 days. It's ok to stop isolating if he still has the cough as that takes longer to go.

The rest of the household need to isolate for 14 days.

I've had the test done, and you get the results within a day or two.

Spidey66 · 18/06/2020 15:57

Not been goady here, but why is he so scared if it is covid19? For the vast majority of people it's self limiting. Does he have any health issues making it potentially more dangerous?

Spidey66 · 18/06/2020 16:01

You mean he has hypertension. As far as I'm aware in the majority of cases it doesn't make covid19 worse. Certainly it's not enough on its own to put him in the shielding category.

Flyingfish2019 · 18/06/2020 16:02

@Spidey66 His blood pressure is not okay...
And also because of having ptsd he is very afraid of germs. One of the reasons for his ptsd is a friend (a healthy young man) having sepsis. So he was always afraid of germs and this pandemic is his personal nightmare.

OP posts:
Flyingfish2019 · 18/06/2020 16:03

Yes, hypertension.

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 18/06/2020 16:04

He needs to get a test OP

TheAdventuresoftheWishingChair · 18/06/2020 16:05

It sounds in all honesty like his mental health condition isn't being very well managed at the moment and that is your biggest issue (which is fair enough, lots of people have gone downhill during this crisis. Me included).

Your dh has a really minute chance of anything going really badly wrong with this virus luckily. I think his problem (and yours) is his fear. If he is too scared to do anything but go jogging at night and is too scared to even get tested (they do it very safely by the sounds of it so there is no risk he could catch the virus getting tested) then he really urgently needs some support. Whether that is available in your area right now, I don't know. Does he have a psychiatrist? Do you have the money for some private support?

There are probably a few things you can do to support him managing this, including looking out for positive news stories, starting to get out a bit so you can both see it's safe if you take certain precautions and talking to his gp so he knows your partner is struggling. I promise you if you try a small trip to the shops at a quiet time of day right now (well, once his symptoms are gone) and you wear masks and hand wash, you will feel really safe and things will get easier over time. It is really important you both keep taking those steps because this could well spiral out of control very badly. Have a look at Karol Sikora on Twitter - he's full of positive facts.

LadyFeliciaMontague · 18/06/2020 16:07

Can you? Don’t you need a swab to be sure?

OP
Drs do not do the swabs. You book online, turn up to the local test place at the time booked, they swab you then text you the results usually within 48 hours.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/testing-and-tracing/ask-for-a-test-to-check-if-you-have-coronavirus/

lilgreen · 18/06/2020 16:08

Get a test. Don’t you want to know what you’re dealing with for sure in case you get it too?

pinkazing · 18/06/2020 16:09

Is he on any existing meds, he may need to have them tweaked a bit. As for Covid, test, monitors rest and alleviate symptoms is all you can do.

Porcupineinwaiting · 18/06/2020 16:10

Maybe he's scared of being one of the ones who get pneumonia @Spidey66? Maybe he's worried about being one of the 1 in 20 who are still sick after 8 weeks? Maybe he's scared of passing it on to his family ?

Maybe you are too cool to worry about COVID but there is plenty to worry about for most people. And even if you get the mild version there is a good chance of spending 2 weeks feeling lousy, which is a lot longer than for most mild viruses. And then there's the bit where you spend the first week worrying that you might go downhill in week two. And struggling to breathe is pretty scary for most people.

OP he needs to rest and drink plenty and try and get his temp below 100 with paracetamol or ibuprofen. He can get advice and reassurance from 111 and book a COVID test through the NHS website (he wont be able to go near a gp so no need to worry about that). And I would strongly recommend you buy a pulse oximeter if you dont already have one. You can buy them on Amazon or from Argos.

TatianaBis · 18/06/2020 16:10

I would call his GP, the GP won’t want him in the surgery anyway, but they can give him advice.

And if you can, get a test as others have said. Are there any drive through testing places near you?

Just try to keep him calm and hydrated.

Tink88 · 18/06/2020 16:11

He needs a test it's very easy to book online. Even if he's terrified wouldn't it be better to be armed with all the facts if he has got it

Meredithgrey1 · 18/06/2020 16:14

I booked a test at a drive through centre for my daughter the other day. I could book a slot immediately, they had loads available. And then they sent the results about 27 hours later (it was negative). Is this an option for him? They give you the swabs, explain how to do it etc and the results were quick so would give him peace of mind. He'd need to be well enough to drive though.
If he's not then you can drive him (but I understand you want to isolate from him) or you can order one to be delivered to you.

PrayingandHoping · 18/06/2020 16:20

He needs to get a test. It's not GPs doing the tests anyway. Our GP surgery won't even see u if u have symptoms, u are referred elsewhere if u need help

Order the test to do at home yourself or book to go to a drive in centre

NerrSnerr · 18/06/2020 16:22

I echo what others are saying, he can order a test to come to your home or book a home test. We booked one for my daughter on Tuesday at about 4.15 and were seen at 5pm and had the results in 24 hours so it's really quick down my end.

iwantitalltobenormal · 18/06/2020 16:29

Hope he is ok!

CorianderLord · 18/06/2020 16:29

I mean it wouldn't be unusual if it was coronavirus but what would be unusual is that he would get it very bad.

He'll probably recover just fine even if it's CV. Why is he so scared of it? I don't see what being military has to do with an illness? Is it just the whole military law kind of situation?

EllaEllaE · 18/06/2020 16:32

Poor guy. I would imagine the PTSD symptoms right now are just as much (if not more) of a problem than the fever. Can he call his therapist for an over-the-phone session? Or if he doesn't have one, does he have any regular exercises or medications he can use, to help the anxiety and PTSD? I can imagine it is really hard for you too, especially if you have been on high alert for months now. Almost like you 'catch' his high anxiety too. You are obviously doing all you can to take care of him, which involves a lot of love and compassion. Flowers

AnnaMagnani · 18/06/2020 16:33

He needs to get a test. It's best to go to a drive through centre as it will be done properly.

I work opposite a drive through centre and it is far from busy - they look bored witless most of the time - so get him booked with a test as soon as possible.

Bleepbloopblarp · 18/06/2020 16:34

How would he have caught it if he hasn’t been outside except to run?(and presumably not touching anything?) it’s highly unlikely so try not to worry.
If he does have it he will probably be absolutely fine. Myself and dh had mild coughs and temps a couple of weeks ago and we were more of the mentality of “it’s unlikely to be covid”. Try not to let your anxiety get the better of you. If he has it there’s not much you can do except rest and isolate.
Get a test if possible.

RhubarbJelly · 18/06/2020 16:34

As others have said get him to book a test - either at a drive through or delivered to your home. In a few days he will have The result and if negative it will hopefully help. Saves 14 days of extra worry for everyone.

Flyingfish2019 · 18/06/2020 16:35

No, I mentioned him having been in the military because they select for physical fitness and health. Somebody asked if he was healthy. I think he is halfway fit.
He also works out a lot.
His BMI is not okay, his blood pressure is not okay but I think he is still halfway fit, jogs, works out and tries to be in shape.

OP posts:
Spidey66 · 18/06/2020 16:35

@Porcupineinwaiting
Like I said, I'm not trying to be goady here. 1 in 20 still suffering several weeks later is a small minority, as is the number of people having long term effects from it. I think the best advice would be to get the test done so that he can self isolate if needed. I've had the test done, as others have said, it's easy to arrange and the results come back quickly. If it's negative, this will be reassuring and will mean an end to needing to self isolate.

And I agree, @Flyingfish2019 it would seem he needs some support for his mental health longer term.

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