Just lost my temper with three year old

[PlanetMJ]

I just cannot cope anymore with the whinging and whining. It's been constant all day apart from when I gave in and let him watch bloody blippi for half an hour.

I just lost it when I put his lunch in front of him. The lunch he wanted, that I had checked twice before making and he made that. Bloody.awful.noise.Again.
I shouted, really really shouted and put his lunch in the bin. I completely disagree with smacking but my god I could have slapped him which frightens me.

DH is working upstairs, came down when he heard me shouting and has taken him up with him.

I just feel like the walls are closing in and m like a coiled spring of anger. I'm worried I'm psychologically damaging my children. DD is 5 and back at school today. I feel like I'm not fit to have children. I started out lockdown with a homeschooling plan, ctivities every day but it's all gone to shit.

DH is great and gives me breaks when he can. He is worried about me I think. I feel anxious and down every afternoon. It's not like me. I actually do a job dealing with very angry, irrational people and I'm known for my calmness

It's OK

Times are weird and there is literally little to no escape at the moment. I'm currently not speaking to my 13 year old or her Dad.
Our shower keeps cutting out, have asked him to look at it for days. She is off to school tomorrow so needed clean hair but it cut off again, so I got a pot and started filling it from the tap.
She usually showers at the highest heat level, but I got her to check the water in the pot wasn't too hot. Twice. She assured me it wasn't

She then screams blue bloody murder about I've burned her on purpose, I'm a bitch and it was too hot.

I finished rinsing her sodding hair and when I left the bathroom she starts wailing at her (fucking wanker) of a father. Who instead of saying, well your mum did ask, like normal fucking people would do, no, bitches at me saying he never heard her shout at me and call me a bitch

So I have been upstairs all day. I've done not one fucking thing for either of the pair of them.

They are so fucking alike it winds me up at the moment.

Seriously, if this shit doesn't end so I think my family dynamic will. Nothing like being shoved together for months to cause shit.

My 6 year old is still whinging. So does my 3 year old, I lose my shit almost daily. Don’t sweat it OP - you love them and they know that.

He changed his mind about his lunch. Not a big deal. Perhaps you could have just given him a banana?

Please don’t give yourself a hard time. This lockdown with young kids at home has been a killer. Ive got two boys 3 and 5. I’ve lost it with mine a few times. My 5 year old told me he didn’t like me today (as I was trying to do school work with him) so I told him I didn’t like him either (very classy mum moment I know). He went to his room. I ate some chocolate. Dad came downstairs as heard the general shouting and took both boys out of for a walk. We’re now all cuddled up watching a film. I said I was sorry for what I said and he said sorry too and he’s just given me a massive unprompted cuddle and told me he loves me so much and I’m the best mummy in the world. We are not perfect. I do always apologise if I’m in the wrong and I tell my kids that mummies are not perfect but I always try my best. I’m 7 months pregnant so quite tired and grumpy at the moment.

Thank You all so much you lovely bunch of bikers

I won’t lie, that totally threw me for a second..🤣

Everyone looses their shit, parenting is hard. Just go easy on yourself, try not to make things rigid. If he doesn’t want lunch or wants to watch the tv, it’s fine. Really, in a few years you’ll look back and wonder why you were so worried

Mines 23 now. She’s a size eight to ten five foot eight, healthy eating trainee commercial lawyer. Every morning she texts me good morning, every night she texts me she loves me,

Plonking her in front of teletubbies for hours on a loop or feeding her jars of baby food or teletubbies pink yoghurt, because I worked full time and my husband was in the forces then and away three months at a time, never did her one iota of harm. And she still remembers as do I, the times I spectacularly lost it.

But what she remembers more Is that she Was and is loved, and cared for. The Fun times, like when I sat outside on the pavement at six in the morning as she rode her first little bike with stabilisers round and round for hours. Or that I used to sing you are my sunshine to her till she fell asleep Every night, or made up stories for her every day and snuggled on the sofa and watched movies with her laying on me.

Just go with it, honestly. The cuddles, the kisses, the happiness, these are the things that shape them. Not if they didn’t eat their lunch, or ate some crap or sat in front of a screen.

Your needs are important too. I find when I'm feeling especially wound up and irritated with DC it's because I need something I've been neglecting. Time for me, more sleep, better food, a decent conversation, whatever it is.

And three year olds are arse holes.

Love this thread! I have a 3yo too and oh my goodness the whinging that comes out of her. It's no stop sometimes and drives me insane.
I dont think your DS will be traumatized. He's probably learning that Mummy has her limits.

Oohhhh we all know 'the noise' it's awful, and so so relentless! Some days everything glides along to plan really nicely, and other days the kids rub the show and it's utter chaos!

Please don't feel bad, we've all been where you are and we've all done what you've done, chances are your son has already forgotten all about it. Please don't be worried about the TV, on days like today it will save your sanity. Blippi is your friend

My 3 year old DD does this noise that I call 'The Drone'. It's like this low pitched whine that she makes when she's not getting her own road and it's like a heat seeking missile for my last nerve. At one point I swear I was developing a twitch because of it.

She starts nursery in September. I absolutely have not marked it on the calendar and I am definitely not ticking off the days till that glorious morning where she is in the care of someone else for three glorious hours. Oh no.

Hang in there OP these are strange times and we haven't even got soft play so they can run it off a bit.

Three year olds are bloody horrible, I used to lose my shit all the time. Don't feel guilty.

Can't comment on three year olds but my one year old shrieks at me when he's displeased. One day recently I displeased him by putting him in his highchair whilst preparing dinner. I shouted at him to SHUT UP and he didn't even flinch. Just carried on. Never done that before but lockdown with the shrieking has pushed me to the edge.

Oh that bloody whining noise is the worst. 4 year old has been doing it al lockdown. This afternoon I left him having a screaming fit in his bedroom and lay down on my bed. Told him he could come speak to me when he’d calmed down. It’s a bloody nightmare

It's really horrible when you feel like that and the awful feeling stays with you longer than it does the child, I'm sure.

I grew up in the 80s and survived an occasional yelling and an occasional smack with no lasting damage.

Coiled spring of anger is exactly how I feel. I'm constantly at boiling point with a 6yr old and a 17 month old, I'm on my own with them both all day in a small 2 bed without a safe outdoor space and I don't drive.

Probably do him good to learn parents have feelings and get angry. He didn’t want his lunch so the bin seems the most appropriate place for it.

I honestly don’t know how you all do it. I’ve never had kids but helped raised my niece and nephews and have DSDs . The thing that stopped me totally losing my rag was the fact that they weren’t mine. If they were mine I would have tied them to a chair and stuffed an oily rag in their mouths at the first sign of whinging I’m sure.

I have been daydreaming about just...packing a little bag and getting in my car and driving. And driving and driving.

My three year old is delightful. But she doesn’t listen to a single word I say and just does entirely her own thing.

Also she does the whinging first thing in the morning. 6am. Standing by my head.

“Mummy. Mummy. Mummy. Let’s go downstairs”
“Come into my bed and you can watch Peppa on my phone for five mins”
“Nooooo mummy. I want to go downstairs nooooowwww. Noooo I don’t want daaaaaaddy.....come oooooon mummy...”

It makes me want to cry.

You're human, forgive yourself,your child will forgive you and he will,on occasion, probably shout at his own child in 30yrs time. We've all done it.

Nothing wrong with Blippi. At least the content is somewhat educational, unlike the endless cartoons DC watches on YouTube and those ridiculous videos of people unwrapping and playing with toys.

I hear you OP, except that at the moment my just turned 4 year old is the beat behaved of all 3 DC. The other 2 (6 and 8) and sooooooo dramatic, whinging, moaning at the moment and I am so tired of it, it’s exhausting and boring.

YANBU

I have a 7 year old and 3 year old twin girls. Not that I'm trying to one-up you 😅
I get it totally, my husband and i were discussing it last night (while I was googling hyperacusis)- that noise has a triple effect- it PHYSICALLY HURTS, makes you lose all concentration, sense of self and presence, and feel angry and then also guilty, leading to feelings of total failure as a parent. I'm really not exaggerating am I!?
Total solidarity. I have lost it quite a few times I'm afraid. The best answer i could come up with last night was ear defenders or earplugs just to take the edge off. Maybe a walk in the afternoons as part of your timetable (with or without the DC)

Op why are you describing my exact day? Are you watching me lose my shit with the constant drone of fucking god awful whinging from my 3 year old????

Don't worry we've all been there x