Just lost my temper with three year old

[PlanetMJ]

I just cannot cope anymore with the whinging and whining. It's been constant all day apart from when I gave in and let him watch bloody blippi for half an hour.

I just lost it when I put his lunch in front of him. The lunch he wanted, that I had checked twice before making and he made that. Bloody.awful.noise.Again.
I shouted, really really shouted and put his lunch in the bin. I completely disagree with smacking but my god I could have slapped him which frightens me.

DH is working upstairs, came down when he heard me shouting and has taken him up with him.

I just feel like the walls are closing in and m like a coiled spring of anger. I'm worried I'm psychologically damaging my children. DD is 5 and back at school today. I feel like I'm not fit to have children. I started out lockdown with a homeschooling plan, ctivities every day but it's all gone to shit.

DH is great and gives me breaks when he can. He is worried about me I think. I feel anxious and down every afternoon. It's not like me. I actually do a job dealing with very angry, irrational people and I'm known for my calmness

I find slamming my hand in a door less painful than listening to “the whinge”. Could you find him a space with a local childminder for a day or two a week?

You’re a great mother because of how much you care. Sadly sometimes children are dicks.

I feel so much better for reading this. And you're right, a bit more TV isn't the end of the world. I just thought we would have a lovely day just the two of us with him getting full attention. Five years into this parenting malarkey I should know that's a recipe for disappointment.
DH thinks we should send him back to nursery for a couple of days a week. I will think on it. I'm heading out for a long walk to school.
Thank You all so much you lovely bunch of bikers.

I have a 3 and 6 year old and feel the same at times. we all do. I now go for a dog walk when DH in from work. Listen to Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe parent lockdown hell...we are not alone

Yeah totally normal. You won't psychologically scar them. Just talk to your child later about your emotions.

Don’t be too hard on yourself, any mum that says she hasn’t lost her shit at least once is a bare faced liar. We all have bad days. I lost my shit with my 2 year old yesterday, she pulled my curtains off the rail in on swing, I shouted and put her in time out she thought the sight of me losing my shit was hilarious🤦🏽‍♀️

Bikers! I meant vipers.

Ahhhhhh the whinging. My 3 yo DD is into whinging at the moment. Don't be harsh on yourself for being less than perfect. Remember, your children will have to deal with people being less than perfect - you occasionally failing is an important lesson for them to. Show them how you cope with losing your shit - have a break, then speak to your DS and explain what had upset you, and that you needed to express that but could have done it better.

Remember, whinging is pretty normal development! Almost all intelligent kids will try it at some stage (not necessarily with you, but I'd rather mine did it at home than at school!), it won't last providing you tackle with it. Trying with my DD at the moment to just not engage with the whinge - keep emphasising that people are more likely to be nice to you if you are nice to them, and that you should always be polite.....and if she whinges, she doesn't get what she asks for even if she then asks politely (had to instigate this as a step up as we had entered whinge-followed-by-please stage). It's gradually having an impact. Whatever whinge-tackling strategy you go for will work in time too!

Remember, no parent is perfect. And if you managed to be perfect, you would be depriving your child of an example of how to manage failure/disappointment. They need to see you struggle/fail occasionally so that they learn how to deal with failure well - an essential part of becoming a resilient teenager/adult.

I've had a few bad days lately where I've been exactly the same with 4yr old DS, all these replies are great, thanks brilliant women xx

Honestly, send him back to nursery. It will do him (and you) the world of good.

I walked past our local nursery this morning and all the kids were having a great time. Playing together (no social distancing at all), laughing, giggling - it was so lovely to see.

Send him back and take some time out for yourself

I have one of those, a 3 year old. She is annoying. YANBU.

Aw bless you. You’re only human. My mum (the calmest, most level and loving person you can imagine) said having two turned her into a screamer. Yet I remember none of it at all - you’re DS will be absolutely fine. You’re DH sounds super supportive and you’re just having a bad time. I have a 3.5 year old and 4 month old and could have written this. My poor DD gets a very grumpy / short mummy at the moment which is unlike me. This whole period has been so exhausting. The blippi but made me smile - our TV consumption is absolutely astronomical.

OP on days like this you should just let blippi have the win. God gave us TV to stop us murdering our offspring.

And don't forget OP, you may have felt like slapping him but you didn't!

(Reminisces: I remember my normally very even tempered DM throwing a teapot at us once. Fortunately it missed, but we must have been being right little sods that day).

Don’t be too hard on yourself. We’ve all been there. You are human.

Mine are virtually all grown up now, but I absolutely remember those days so well, and the whingeing and whining that is guaranteed to drive you round the bend.

Have a cup of tea, go for a walk, get some chocolate or cake. Treat yourself to calm yourself down.

Don't be hard on yourself. Parenting is hard and we all can lose it. During lockdown it's even worse. Kids are trying. I have felt guilty many a bedtime recently because I have shouted and nagged throughout the day. Your husband seems really supportive. Lean on him and take time for yourself this evening.

Also at that young age they know you are stressed, they sense it and they will push boundaries.
be firm.
Love yourself you are doing a great job at a tough time.
At 3 he can learn to eat what he asks for. I can't bear it when mums tie themselves it knots trying to please a "little emperor"
he has to learn to be reasonable and if you asked him already you are great and he is playing up....do not feel guilty.
no mums are perfect and neither are the kids.... we are all humans

Blippi is a devil's bargain though because the melt down when it gets turned off is biblical.

Try something else. Even Peppa bloody Pig is a less horrendous comedown.

After a long hard day, my 3 year old decided to rip off his pull ups at bed time and aim a massive piss all over his bedding. I almost ran out into the street screaming! DH immediately jumped in to sort it out before I ended up on the news.

Oh OP i've had similar days - it's bad enough when we aren't in lockdown!

Also Blippi is the work of the devil. Not only is he highly annoying but I've since found out before Blippi was Blippi he was famous for defecating on a friend and putting it on Youtube. As if the man couldn't get any worse < not envy

Mind you DD is now on Youtube families and their smugness is not what I need in lockdown

Send him back. Mine is 3 next month and his behaviour has improved loads since his return. He isn't naughty at all, but he seems happier and is more tired. He definitely thrives on routine.

In case you are worried, I have been in hospital very recently and was tested for covid. It was negative. Just so you get to hear 'the other side'. He hasnt given me anything yet.

Christ OP... How have you only just lost your shit now?!? And only half an hour of tv..... How are you still sane?!

I have 3.5 year old twins who take it in turns to whinge, shout, love each other (which involves practically strangling each other while they cuddle), hate each other (which involves kicking and screeching) or just be generally fairly pleasant.

The problem is the frequency with which they are both pleasant at the same time is approximately similar to my odds of winning the lottery.... And I have not yet won the lottery!

I get what you mean about feeling like you could have slapped your child..... It genuinely feels personal sometimes when they wind you up. But the difference is you didn't and you wouldn't. I never have, I never would, but I understand that feeling and I have previously walked away and locked myself in a downstairs bathroom to take a deep breath!

I ordered a pool for the upcoming heatwave at 3am this morning.

Not for the kids (teens).

For me to lie in, drinking wine

Go with nursery, my 4 year old has been back two weeks and she 100% happier and now wants to interact where as previously we'd reached a stalemate of we were all fed up of walks to the park, crafts ect....

I think even pre schoolers don't want to be with there parents in a confined space 24/7 _ he's likely just as fed up.

But the whinge, I'm actually trying to think how you would spell and closest would euuuregaxx

I hqd a distinct dislike of Ryan's toys cause I don't like the idea of my kids watching a millionaire play rather than play themselves.

I will happily send him toys in gratitude by the end of lockdown.