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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be feed up with school telling me what to do and how to do it?

284 replies

ivykaty44 · 24/09/2007 16:38

Had a letter home from my dd's school last week telling me that they would be sending a booklet home telling me what I should be giving my dd for her packed lunch. I do know how to make a healthy pack lunch, including three portions of fruit each day in the pack lunch.

This week they send me a letter telling me that it is tantamount to being a criminal if I so much as dare to even think about taking my dd out of school during term time - I havn't even asked (standard letter to take home)and my child may be excluded from school if I go on holiday in term time.

The letter really does seem to have this attitude of "we have the power to make you" and I really don't like it I am not a child, I can look after my dd and give her healthy food and take her on holiday during school closures. I just want them to leave me alone and get on with teaching my dd........ rant over

OP posts:
3andnomore · 24/09/2007 20:01

well, I was just replying to a message on this thread...

but....well, your comment brings us back to the point of this thread...that is exactly the reason why school letters have to be simple if blunt...because some people don't know...so they have to be told one way or another...

like mb mentions it's astounding what some Kids do get in their lunch box...so, teh message, that is pretty much ALL around us for everyone to see...apparently has to be spelled out...and even that mihgt not get any results...

NKF · 24/09/2007 20:10

Nut allergies can be fatal. I've never heard that milk allergies can be.

Also, I suspect that people objecting to the tone are in fact objecting to being asked to do something they don't want to do. I bet the request was along the lines of "Please don't..." or "We request that parents don't send..." or "parents are reminded etc..."

NKF · 24/09/2007 20:10

Nut allergies can be fatal. I've never heard that milk allergies can be.

Also, I suspect that people objecting to the tone are in fact objecting to being asked to do something they don't want to do. I bet the request was along the lines of "Please don't..." or "We request that parents don't send..." or "parents are reminded etc..."

ratfly · 24/09/2007 20:16

dunno if this has been covered, as i havent read the whole thread...
but there are new government regulations about taking kids out of school for holidays. i think you can get fined for taking them out of school for a week, and then if you do it again, you can get sent to court. or something like that - the staff meeting was pretty boring and i did start to drift off...

tori32 · 24/09/2007 20:22

Have only read op, but it seems you are taking a standard letter too personally. Some parents may need that kind of guidance.

LittleBella · 24/09/2007 20:24

Oh go on, tell us what the letter actually said and we an analyse it and criticise the grammar

NKF · 24/09/2007 20:26

And the spelling mistakes, LittleBella. And then someone can mention "political correctness" and after that it's bedtime.

pointydog · 24/09/2007 23:14

littlebella, brilliantly said at 19.09. Spot on. (I worked for charities too, you know)

pointydog · 24/09/2007 23:14

"That's why tone is important. You can sneer at it and tell people to get a life because they notice it, but how effective is that in getting parents to do what you want?"

that bit esp

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 25/09/2007 08:16

I used to work for a charity too. I can arselick with the best of 'em.

Of course tone is important (I think we do agree on that point) but it would be pretty impossible to write different letters to suit all recipients; parents of PFBs, parents who like to be cajoled, non-English speaking parents, parents who don't give a toss, parents who prefer 'advice', parents who would really prefer we never contacted them at all, parents with one brain cell that's mashed up by booze and only understand the F word....... the list is endless. So you write in a way that gets the majority of the parents on side. There will always be someone who takes offence, it goes with the territory.

And I'll have you know that there are never spelling mistakes in my letters

Sobernow · 25/09/2007 08:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

unknownrebelbang · 25/09/2007 08:27

Haha, just reminded me, we sent some letters out to some of my "clientele" recently. It was a fairly robust letter and we got a couple of complaints...until it was pointed out that it was a fairly bog-standard letter, and it was an updated copy of a letter sent earlier in the year where no complaints were made.

The difference - one or two of them had packed in smoking and because they were snippy had taken offence at the letter!

bozza · 25/09/2007 08:43

Agree with cod, as I seem to quite often these days.

Debbiethemum · 25/09/2007 09:02

BTW - those who said a milk allergy cannot be lethal. There is a boy in ds's class who can go into anaphalactic (is that spelt right) shock from dairy. The school does not ban dairy from packed lunches but there a very strict policies in ds's class about washing hands etc.

3andnomore · 25/09/2007 12:13

Debbie, the poor KId...but I believe with dairy it is rarer for it to be this extreme....

Debbiethemum · 25/09/2007 12:59

I do feel sorry for the child as he appears to be allergic to everything. Wheat, Gluten, Eggs etc. He has to bring his own food everywhere as it is impossible for the other parents to cater for him, though I tried my hardest at ds's birthday party.
His mum also has lots of allergies so the family are used to it.

Debbiethemum · 25/09/2007 13:03

3andnomore - At least he can be breathed on by other people, which someones child on this thread can't be with their nut allergy. But if one of the children has a cheese sandwich and then touches this boy it triggers the shock - cheese sandwiches were banned at that party for ds.

NorthernRockCod · 25/09/2007 13:03

lol at bozza

you can enter my clicque

cheeset · 25/09/2007 14:17

Just scanned threat, agree with poster in some way. I worked in a school and this particular one treated the volunteers like kids.

The newsletter just informs, as an adult take what you want and ignore the rest that puts your back up.

Society is so damn indoctrinating nowadays with us all self policing each other-you unfortunately have stepped out of the box, your not supposed to question anything or you are the rotten apple!!

I took my kids out last week-went to eden project, the zoo, aquarium, went to a farm, pretty educational IMO.

Of course I was concerned about their education, but a little part of me was concerned about what they thought of me, in the end I thought oh sod it, I'm the parent here,it will be good for them.

I have asked the teachers to give me the work that they missed so they can catch up, I was in the driving seat and made the decisions-not them.

cheeset · 25/09/2007 14:22

Threat? thread!

NorthernRockCod · 25/09/2007 14:23

"I have asked the teachers to give me the work that they missed so they can catch up,"

if i was hte teacher id say no
bloody you dont turn upwhy the hell shodul they go oand finde work that you COUDL have had that day

DANCESwithHughJackman · 25/09/2007 14:24

Did you 'oi' me for something cod?

DANCESwithHughJackman · 25/09/2007 14:24

am on msn now if so...

toomanydaves · 25/09/2007 14:31

The nut thing pisses me off actually, as the mother of a severely anaphylactic child.
See threads passim.

As for the school letters, I agree that the wording is often patronising, and that sometimes the rules are badly explained.

BUT also understand schools HAVE to say these things.
Fence-sitty enough for ya?

TellusMater · 25/09/2007 15:34

"I have asked the teachers to give me the work that they missed so they can catch up"

I would give you a National Curriculum reference and let you get on with it I think.

As you are in the driving seat making all the decisions and all...

Swipe left for the next trending thread