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Original poster

To be feed up with school telling me what to do and how to do it?

284 replies

ivykaty44 · 24/09/2007 16:38

Had a letter home from my dd's school last week telling me that they would be sending a booklet home telling me what I should be giving my dd for her packed lunch. I do know how to make a healthy pack lunch, including three portions of fruit each day in the pack lunch.

This week they send me a letter telling me that it is tantamount to being a criminal if I so much as dare to even think about taking my dd out of school during term time - I havn't even asked (standard letter to take home)and my child may be excluded from school if I go on holiday in term time.

The letter really does seem to have this attitude of "we have the power to make you" and I really don't like it I am not a child, I can look after my dd and give her healthy food and take her on holiday during school closures. I just want them to leave me alone and get on with teaching my dd........ rant over

OP posts:
cheeset · 25/09/2007 19:57

I don't think putting these requests in a newsletter to parents will change a pattern of behaviour. To do that society needs to change.

My point earlier, me taking kids off in sch term(couldn't afford a hol in 6wks summer hols)should be addressed to the government. They can step in and curb excessive charging of holidays in the 6 wk hols.

Maybe more parents would stick to that time then?

Blandmum · 25/09/2007 20:00

some would.

Some just want a swanky holiday though. I do have sympathy with people who can't afford a holiday any other way. But loads of the parents I work with (and ours isn't a posh school) just want a better holiday, so they take the kid out of school in term time. I've had kids miss the two weeks before GCSE's to go on a cruise. Missed the first two weeks of term to go to Africa, that sort of thing.

Lorayn · 25/09/2007 20:15

So holiday is more important than school??
Hmmmm.
I agree they shouldn't be so highly priced in the holidays but that is because there is higher demand.
I have had years where my children have gone without holidays, or have just had a weekend away rather than the whole week because we couldnt afford any other way, if you decide to take your children out of school then you are being unreasonable IMO.
They are off for 13 weeks a year fgs!!!

twistedficus · 25/09/2007 20:18

If I had my way I'd even be telling some parents what time to send their children to bed. Im sooo tired of planning exciting lessons and buying and making lovely resources only to have children nodding off because they stayed up till 10 watching Spider Man 3 on DVD in their bedrooms! And thats a Year 1 class!
I wish all parents realised that an easy life is not alsways the most benficial for the children. Sometimes they need to be told no.

LittleBella · 25/09/2007 20:26

I think that's the problem though isn't it Cheese - schools appear to be the institution the government has chosen, to solve all the ills of society. THey're going to change society by making schools do sustainable transport plans, walking buses, healthy schools, dawn to dusk childcare, homework which forces parents to engage with their kids - all without demanding that other institutions contribute to this change of culture, or financing the supposed change. Somehow, puzzlingly, schools are supposed to be the instruments of social change. How the hell can they be? They're only one part of a child's/ parent's life and without input from all the other parts, it just ain't gonna happen, no matter how shiny the healthy schools logo is.

Blandmum · 25/09/2007 20:29

And it is amazing how often parents who have failed, on numerous occasions, to support the school when children misbehave, then turn round and blame the school for 'Not doing enough' when the child finally goes off the rails and the police become involved.

Sobernow · 25/09/2007 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

juuule · 25/09/2007 20:34

Hmmm. I actually think a 2-week trip to Africa is probably a lot better than the first 2 weeks of term in school.

Sobernow · 25/09/2007 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blandmum · 25/09/2007 20:37

well, its done fuck all for her understanding of her GCSE science course, I can tell you that.

LittleBella · 25/09/2007 20:45

Yes sobernow, that's the logic, but the govt are ignoring the fact that the most influence from a child comes from within their home.

So it is a very ineffective use of money, to throw it all at the child and not try and throw some of it elsewhere - the influences within the home are still massively important. The state has always tried to use school as a means of talking directly to children over the heads of their parents, as it were, but it doesn't work long term, because the home is still the most influential factor in how children respond to the world. Of course, you'll always get exceptions and there are many stories of children who have had their lives transformed by one great teacher, one great school etc. - but the odd individual success doesn't change the overall picture, imo

juuule · 25/09/2007 20:46

Well, for a start surely it would give a first hand insight into another culture. It would also give a broader view of life and not narrow it just to the area she lives in. There are so many things that become real when you see them in real life and not just in a book or on the internet.
As for missing 2 weeks science. My dd was doing single science until the 11/12 weeks before GCSEs. With one 2hr session a week for those last weeks she passed the double science exam with AA. I don't think the 2weeks would have made that much difference.

worzella · 25/09/2007 20:47

Oooooh - never been criticised in a post before - thanks Spidermama. I wasn't saying 'get a grip' - more that if the stuff doesn't apply , then don't get offended.

tigermoth · 25/09/2007 20:58

I think the devil is in the detail. I hope I follow the broad sweep of the school rules for my sons - I certainly try to. But I will adapt the odd detail if I see fit.

I don't get upset by letters suggesting what I must or mustn't do, but neither do I ever follow them 100%.

For instance, I am in agreement that high levels of attendance are important, but I have come to an agreement with my oldest son that as long as he does not exaggerate any illness he has or go to the sick room for little reason (something he was prone to do in year 7), he can choose two 'duvet days' a term - as long as he has not had too manyy real sick days.

The result is that his times off due to sickness has reduced from around two or more weeks a term to around 2 - 4 days, including duvet days. I do not feel in the least guilty about this, even though I know I am not following to the letter the rules on sickness.

Tortington · 25/09/2007 21:06

forgive me if i have misconstrude - but i rather think that

its not what is put in the letter - becuase we all know shit parents - indeed some of us have times of shitness - but rather i think that its the tone in which it is delivered - i think most reasonable people will think that - yes schools have a lot to put up with - especially as the govternment increasingly dictate it takes over the role of the parent in how to be a model CITIZEN religeon and moral code and now the health of your children.

so that not withstanding i rather think its the "do it you incompetant FUCKERS" tone that goes with these letters.

I am the parent lets not forget - even though you are increasingly bringing up my child in social, moral and health issues

Tortington · 25/09/2007 21:08

but no duvet days here - kids go to school - school rings me if kid is ill - i say tough i cant get there for 2 hours

batters · 25/09/2007 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cheeset · 25/09/2007 21:44

Forgive me if what I'm about to mention has been discussed many times before..

Re the packed lunch,my dd has jam sandwiches on white bread and has squash instead of water which the school recommends.

That is NOT a health lunch as far as I am concerned BUT dd brought up on Annabel Carmel food cooked religiously by me for years and she refuses to eat nice brown bread with yummy fillings or fruit which the sch also recommends.

What do you do, watch full lunchboxes come home or give the kid what she will eat?

Are the sch letters aimed at people like me?

NKF · 25/09/2007 21:47

Do you think healthy packed lunch advice is aimed at you?

NKF · 25/09/2007 21:47

Do you think healthy packed lunch advice is aimed at you?

pointydog · 25/09/2007 21:47

Watch it, cheese. Sound slike you are about to do that inexplicable thing where the parent immediately turns into a child when dealing with anything school-like.

I have seen adults turn into silly giggling messes when at school open evenings and joke about getting 'told off'.

Now that is even worse than schools being patronising

cheeset · 25/09/2007 22:07

NFK, sorry scanning other threads! No dont think the lunch thing aimed at me, not that sensitive anymore!

Maybe they do mention it in newsletters for people like me and/or people who are just a bit tick!

Think we all know what to give kids unless you live under a rock!

Just want dd to bloomin well eat!

unknownrebelbang · 25/09/2007 22:07

Oh dear. I did get all giggly with the teacher at the last parents' evening, and she did (almost) tell me off.

Thank fk she's also a friend of mine.

pointydog · 25/09/2007 22:15

rebel

Don't sit on the tiny chair next time

unknownrebelbang · 25/09/2007 22:35

Oh they know better than to put me on the tiny chair.

lol.

(even got a rocking chair in nursery once, but then I was heavily pregnant, lol)