To be feed up with school telling me what to do and how to do it?

[ivykaty44]

Had a letter home from my dd's school last week telling me that they would be sending a booklet home telling me what I should be giving my dd for her packed lunch. I do know how to make a healthy pack lunch, including three portions of fruit each day in the pack lunch.

This week they send me a letter telling me that it is tantamount to being a criminal if I so much as dare to even think about taking my dd out of school during term time - I havn't even asked (standard letter to take home)and my child may be excluded from school if I go on holiday in term time.

The letter really does seem to have this attitude of "we have the power to make you" and I really don't like it I am not a child, I can look after my dd and give her healthy food and take her on holiday during school closures. I just want them to leave me alone and get on with teaching my dd........ rant over

[OrmIrian]

Oh good pointy

I am actually a revoltingly arse-licky (sorry 'supportive') parent who always does what she is told but I do appreciate being spoken to as an equal, not as a child. I like to think we're all on the same side.

[eleusis]

Perhaps nut allergies are more serious than I know. I must admit I'mnot allergy expert.

Now, what is nutritious about:
Chocolate spnge served with chcolate sauce
Bakewell tart served with rasberry sauce
Apple and blackberry crumble served with custard
Sunshine rice pudding (whatever that is )
Fruit jelly (don't mind this one quite so much)

Oh, and all of the bread they offer is white bread.

Okay, I'm difficult to please. I know I know.

[pointydog]

I could tell you were an arse-licker, orm

[pointydog]

I appreciate that, sober.

[Blandmum]

White bread isn't as good GI wise and fivre wise as wholemeal. However it is still a complex carbohydrate and will give a child a more regular 'dose' of sugars than the rush that comes from eating sweeties and chocolate/

Better for concentration and better (long term) for the pancreas

[TellusMater]

Fruit
Calcium
Fat
Starch

All fine for active children IMO.

Not so good for couch potatoes of course. But not many fat children at ds's school TBH. And plenty of veg (and good quality meat). And they're not allowed to start pudding until they have made a pretty good fist of the main course. At least in infants anyway.

Now that is probably overly controlling too

[eleusis]

White bread is crap in my book. I can overlook pasta that is not wholmeal and white rice. But not white bread.

My point is the hypocracy of the letters because the school school is always handing out cookis and crap and then they send home a leter that says please put fruit and not juk in the lunchbox. Eh? How bout we both stop giving junk?

Okay, I'm shutting up know. I am obsessed with nutrition and I should just go home.

[pointydog]

It's a fair point, eleusis. SOme school dinners are bogging. Depends a lot on caterers.

[TellusMater]

I had to put ds back onto white bread to lower his fibre intake. He was having problems with, um , urgency...

[OrmIrian]

Perhaps that's why I've reacted a little too sobernow. Having been a supportive and obedient mummy for nearly 7 years our school has just had an awful Ofsted. Feeling a little letdown.... not to mention

[Blandmum]

We are very luicky and have excellent school dinners. Teachers elect to eat them.

there are always 3 hot choices. There is always the option to have baked potatoes with a variety of fillings.

There is a fresh salad bar which is first rate, and does a range of salads as well as fresh fruit salad.there are wraps and bagettes, and things like carrot sticks and hummous etc. Fresh fruit always on offer. We only sell milk and bottled water, of an smoothies

The food is excellent and well priced.

Some kids still come in with a box of shite.

It breaks my heart

[LittleBella]

We had an excellent letter about not sending nuts in the other day. It said "you may be aware that Miss X has a nut allergy, which means that she could have an anaphalactic reaction if she even touches a nut. We'd therefore be extremely grateful to all of you, if you'd try and remember this when you pack your children's lunches, and please don't include nuts, as we're all very fond of Mrs X!" It specifically brought home the message that a specific individual could become really really ill if parents ignore the letter. I thought it was very clever because the obby gits who would normally think "fark off, I'll put what I want in my kids lunch box" were actually asked to think about someone real. Yes it probably took more time to write and think about than a standard barking command, but I bet they get a better response than normal.

[eleusis]

I'm all for banning boxes of shite. 'tis worse than white bread.

[ivykaty44]

Strangley absent from thread - I was having dinner. I have an opinion that doesn't mean I have to do a job or volunteer at the school to have an opinion.

If someone takes a child out of school for whatever reason then the school can contact that parent, they do not have to contact every parent. If there is a problem with a childs behaviour then they can contact the parent and establish whether it is the packed lunch that is causing the problem.

I would like to support the school, but when the school treats me and others like morons it doesn't encourage such a relationships.

I do though have a good relationship with my eldest secondary school where they treat parents like adults.

[Blandmum]

'If someone takes a child out of school for whatever reason then the school can contact that parent, they do not have to contact every parent. If there is a problem with a childs behaviour then they can contact the parent and establish whether it is the packed lunch that is causing the problem. '

I teach in a school of 1300 children, Who do you think is going to be able to do this on a day to day basis?

[ivykaty44]

Well they do around here in a school of over 1500. The staff telephone and leave messages for you to contact them about your childs absence.

[Blandmum]

But a child's absence is triggered by the regester being taken, and in many schools nowerdays the regester is taken electronically. Who do you suggest checks the lunch boxes of 1300? (or however manyhundrads of kids it is)

[seeker]

I really can't see the problem. Schools have a responsibility to the children who attend, and a child will not get the best out of school if they get a crap lunch and get taken out for two weeks in Majorca every time their parents feel like it. If the letter doesn't apply to you, then chuck it in the bin. But there are lots of parents less thoughtful and well informed than you - would you prefer it if the school sent out targetted letters to individual parents "I notice that your child has had two mars bars and a can of coke for lunch every day this week. Last week he had a pork pie, and bag of Haribo and a Tizer. You may wish to reconsider his diet before you board the plane for your 4 week trip to Disneyland - I believe airlines take an even dimmer view than headteachers of children climbing the walls all day"

[LittleBella]

It's interesting that kneejerk thing about "FGS get a life" because I think that's as counter-productive as the "FGS I'm not going to co-operate with the school because of the way they talk to me".

The whole point of communications from schools, is that they want to get parents to do what they want. How d'you get someone to do what you want them to, when you don't have coercive powers over them? Generally, by persuasion.

That's why tone is important. You can sneer at it and tell people to get a life because they notice it, but how effective is that in getting parents to do what you want?

I'm interested in this because I have recently started working for a charity which has to communicate with parents via schools. We have loads of different materials all saying the same things, but saying it differently because different people respond to different things. It's the only way we can operate, because we want parents to co-operate with us. If we didn't bother to try and communicate effectively, we just wouldn't get any co-operation from most parents, tbh. And we'd all be out of a (very enjoyable) job.

[fireflyfairy2]

There is a parent who sends her children to dd's school & she seems to want to flaunt to rules on a more or less daily basis.

The school teaches the Catholic ethos & prepares children for their sacraments. This lady is not a Catholic, but married to one. Therefore they decided to send the children to this school even though neither the mum or the children attend mass.

She will not let the children be taught prayers, they miss out on mass & are not allowed to bless themselves after prayers.

Anyway, I digress. I was starting to say that she takes the children out of school on the day mass is being held [which can be quite often given the number of holy days] & she also took them out 2 weeks early for their summer break.

The little one in dd's class told them on Friday that they won't be in today or tomorrow as they are for Spain.....

The teacher spoke to the parent regarding the child's lunch box... she had sent her a mini box of cornflakes &told her to pour her morning drink of milk over it.... So the mum simply sent a note to say her child had to go home at lunchtimes.. she lives 3 doors away from the school & they can't refuse a reasonable request

She finds ways around everything & even goes so far as to laugh at the rest of us for following rules.

She doesn't have many friends.

[wheresthehamster]

What someone may feel is a patronising tone someone else may take at face value and someone else may not understand it because it is too complicated. It's very difficult to get the right tone of a letter and so it is obvious to aim at those with an IQ of cheese (to use mytwopenceworth's delicate phrasing)

[RustyBear]

When it's an adult, they can name her (with her permission) but you can't tell the whole school that this named child's allergy is the reason no-one can have peanut butter.

[3andnomore]

NUT-ALLERGIES CAN KILL...that is why other people may have to be inconvenienced and are asked to regard a no-nuts rule...simple really....

[LittleBella]

But lots of people are so ignorant that they don't actually know nuts can kill 3andnomore.

Astoundingly. I always wonder what the fuck bubble people live in, that the normal discourse of society simply passes them by (mind you, I suppose they'd say the same about me, I am not up to date with the latest doings of whichever celeb is the one you need to know about atm,) so schools need ot explain it.

I agree you can't name a child. But you can say "there is a child in the school who..." etc. I think people are more likely to respond to something specific than a vague "might happen, let's be risk-averse for the sake of it" diktat.

The school ahs never before asked us not to send in nuts and I always assumed it was because they were behind the times. It wasn't, it was because they'd made a decision that they would only ask people not to do it if it was actually necessary. And now with the new teacher, it is.

Did anyone else read tht the government are going to withdraw advice not to eat peanuts in pregnancy btw? They now think that avoiding them is actually making allergies more likely, not less. (Sorry, deviation.)