AIBU to think there is not much to look forward to?

[Desperado40]

I detest the 'new normal'. Struggling to WFH with 2 children, not at school. Failing at home schooling. The worst thing is, I just can't see an end to this. This is like a groundhog day and I don't know how we are going to survive the summer. Yes, lucky to still have a job (for now) and food on the table. I am obeying the rules, but the whole social distancing is so depressing, I can't even be bothered to be arranging meet ups in a park 2 meters apart. I don't understand how it is ok for some children to be now mixing in a group of 10-15 every day at school, but for others not be able to socialise with just one friend? I am not going to shops any time soon, apart from groceries, I can buy what I need online without having to stand in a designated spot, constantly run away from people and queue to get in. There is just no joy in life anymore and I am not sure when (if ever?) it will be back.

I am so unmotivated. I am furloughed so am lucky to have time to help my DC do their school work but DS is hard to motivate and DD doesnt need my help. I wrote to do lists and regularly havent done even pretty minor tasks on them by the end of the day. DH is SE and stressed about work going forward, I think the change in weather is not helping either.i know we are lucky that at the moment we are managing financially but the uncertainty is quite overwhelming.

I have some of the feelings. I’ve been for walks but otherwise nowhere. I know I’m very lucky to have a job and that I can WFH and have family and don’t have to look after children/home school.

I still want normal back. Not new normal- restaurants and the cinema and the gym. I keep positive outside, on this thread need to vent.

I miss my 'old life' of taking DS to something fun on his days off from nursery - swimming, farm park, soft play, Pizza Hut, museum. There's literally nothing I can 'do' with him now. We've been going to the park a lot which is nice, but the playground is shut and we don't exactly have nice weather here every day. Considering taking him to our local shopping centre since it's pouring with rain and even on their website they've put that people shouldn't bring children if they can help it. If you buy takeaway food you have to eat it outside of the shopping centre (why, it's huge?!)
With numbers dropping as they are you'd hope that at some point we can take our own bloody decisions re: risk as we do with every other thing. Just fed up.

Same. Except I lost my job and marriage broke down. Lots of other crap too. I'm taking things one hour at a time but it's been brutal. This is NOT normal. At no other point in history have humans been expected to stay away from one another to that extent. If it goes on too long I expect mass depression- and not just in an economic sense. I dread to think what this is doing to children and teens. Already DD13 sees no point in ever leaving her room again. I'm extremely worried.
We need to stop this insanity- and I'm saying that as someone who was unfortunate enough to catch a severe form of Covid pneumonia. My parents are in the vulnerable group as well and fully agree. Let us out ffs!

I've never been one who gets out and about every weekend as I suffer from depression and social anxiety, but what helped me and improved my mood was getting my hair and nails done, how they look is greatly tied in with my self esteem, of which I am lacking, so not being able to go to the salons is making my already poor confidence even worse, to the point I can barely step outside of the house without a panic attack. I go to bed at night and cry about having to face another day

A thread like this is really helpful. Rationally everyone knows that things could be worse for many people but that really doesn’t negate the fact that things are also quite crap at the same time. Many of the things that we enjoy as a family are not possible at the moment - sporting activities, going to see sports matches, going to gigs, theatre, eating out in restaurants, travelling. Our weekends are really busy usually and we like that - that’s how we planned our lives. So yes we have enjoyed spending time together, going for walks etc but I am definitely not looking forward to a “new normal”. I really hope the schools go back in September – I know things have been hard for teachers but many of us in many industries have had to adapt hugely and I think the negative impact on our children’s mental health can’t be ignored. At the beginning of all this I was beating myself up for not being able to be as relentlessly positive about the situation as others seem to be. Then I gave my head a wobble and realised that actually it’s fine to feel however you are feeling and in fact the less congruent response is this constantly cheery “wow it’s brought us all together” feeling because for many people that’s not how they are feeling.

There isn't much reopening that I can take a toddler to, don't think she'd be welcome at the pub or nail bar. We are looking at a trip to the zoo but can't do that every day.

Thank you all. All I can see around me (workwise), is generally people coping well (or at least pretending). I have better days and worse days, but this is incredibly hard on so many different levels. We are not a family who holidays often and lost a very special, long anticipated trip due to covid. As other posters said, one of the worst thing is the uncertainty of when we can have our old lives back without avoiding people, queueing, etc. @FilthyforFirth goof luck in November! I can't imagine added extra stress of what already is a life changing event
Thank you for sharing all your stories.

good luck even!

Yanbu. I'm a sahm to a toddler and all the things we used to do like go to groups, have lunch out with my parents, play dates, days out are all gone. Days are largely the same and I don't know when we will be able to do any of these things again as toddlers can't social distance and it seems like social distancing is here for the long haul

Can I join?! Having a very flat couple of weeks in general.

I’m due to be able to reopen my business next month, I love my work but I’m also dreading it. I’ve kind of got used to lockdown and realised the stress that my clients (unknowingly) can make me feel, just by talking and telling me their woes. I soak it up like a sponge and I’ve found a big release not listening to voices all the time. I feel bad feeling this way and realising that starting again next month is making me feel fed up. I’m missing seeing loved ones with the regularity that I used to, missing life how it used to be.

The weather being grey and rainy hasn’t helped.

Sorry for the moan but I’d struggle to say this in real life as I know people have it far worse.

Yep I am miserable too. Lucky to have a job but hate it at the moment, I finish up for 7 weeks next week cannot wait. I miss just popping down to the local supermarket for a nosey round, now everything is so regimented.

YANBU.
The whole second wave in China is making things more depressing and stressing me out incase there’s one here too. I can’t see a end to it either, I contacted my kids school today to ask for their plans for September as I’m at my wits end.

Other than the initial fear and shock I've been coping well most of the time, then every so often I hit a wall. I don't have the pressures of homeschooling and am lucky to have a garden and nice walks on the door step but at times I find the whole thing exhausting and depressing. The rules !! What we can and can't do. Where we can and can't go. Where we can shop from. The queuing, the distancing and the general head space this all takes. We've watched our cancelled wedding come and go, ditto honeymoon and then beloved dog was put to sleep. He used to dictate the day with his walks but now it feels so lacking in structure. Then the self employed worry for both of us. I won't even let myself think about the future of our work or even bigger, the future of the economy and the nation in general. I KNOW it could be worse but it does still feel really shit with no real end in sight.

Yeah, same. I'm in Scotland, so we're behind in terms of restrictions being lifted, plus the weather's crap. Usually at this point I am desperate to finish work for six weeks of summer holidays. This year I wonder how I will manage six weeks without the structure of work to at least break up the days!

I think one of the things I'm struggling with is that for us (I know a lot of others but I live in an area where most people seem to have enormous disposable incomes) a take away, a meal out or a theatre trip was a luxury or treat that we did once in a while. For a lot of friends and people I know, they went out most weeks, had hair and nails done regularly and attended concerts and shows - the one advantage is that they are saving money by not doing those things and will have the funds to do them if and when restrictions allow. When they were occassional treats and your income is down anyway, there is literally no upside.

I feel your pain op. I’m stuck at home with the DS all day, every day. Homeschooling is near impossible as they just don’t want to do it, so a battle of wills commences, and I tend to give up before they do!
I’m pretty sure I’ve become an alcoholic, too! I miss my friends, miss hugging my mum, miss work, miss holidays. It’s shit. When will we have something to look forward to??

I have been so so down, but this week I practically skipped into town to get a couple of bits and bobs. I took my baby in the pushchair but not my nearly 4yo, and I knew it wouldn't be 'normal', but I just cried when I got home. It's taken away so much hope for me, it was horrible with people so stressed, shops with signs saying "no children", and half the shops not open at all. I've got very little money to spend, or energy to shop, but having a mooch around town, browsing for gifts etc then maybe stopping at a nice cafe to have a drink is such a pleasure that has been destroyed.
There are so many reasons I feel miserable at the moment, but this broke me this week.

for others not be able to socialise with just one friend?

Are you shielding OP? Otherwise you can meet up with friends and socialise.

I have regularly met up with friends (just one, now groups) within the guidelines and found it a tremendous help.

Picnics in the park, walks on the beach, it's been lovely.

I get that. We used to love going round the shops just looking at tat or seeing what was being flogged at the supermarket. It was always our back up option when it was rainy and we got bored. It was a simple life but we were happy.

@Hannahthepink shops saying no children is surely discrimination? I feel the way children have been treated is absolutely appalling. It's like going back in time.

just do what you can.. and what you cant, dont worry about it, im getting to that point now where it is all wearing abit thin. summer holidays soon and we are having a break from trying to home school, i think everyone should.

I'm trying to look further ahead, to see if that helps. Rather than the next few months I'm thinking of next spring/summer and starting to plan a holiday then. And because its a potential walking holiday, that is giving me slightly more motivation to go for regular walks. And the walking makes me feel slightly better. So, hopefully, the whole thing gets a bit circular.

Just popped back to say that I’ve had the call I’ve been waiting for - I’m coming off furlough and going back to work !!!
No start date yet, but soon. Can’t wait for a tiny bit of normality back.

I'm so fed up too. Preschooler DS has gone back to preschool part time and is like a different child- so much happier and loving being with other children. I'm dreading term ending and needing to occupy him for six weeks. I don't have friends with children and the parents at preschool are very cliquey.

I don't have many friends locally, and I find seeing my parents but not being able to hug them so tough.

Where are these local beauty spots? I never know where people mean. I'm in London and unless the toilets are open I couldn't go for an hour's drive, a walk and an hour's drive back without needing the loo.

I keep being told to take DS for a walk but he just cries because he wants to go in the playground.