Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

AIBU to think there is not much to look forward to?

105 replies

Desperado40 · 17/06/2020 22:27

I detest the 'new normal'. Struggling to WFH with 2 children, not at school. Failing at home schooling. The worst thing is, I just can't see an end to this. This is like a groundhog day and I don't know how we are going to survive the summer. Yes, lucky to still have a job (for now) and food on the table. I am obeying the rules, but the whole social distancing is so depressing, I can't even be bothered to be arranging meet ups in a park 2 meters apart. I don't understand how it is ok for some children to be now mixing in a group of 10-15 every day at school, but for others not be able to socialise with just one friend? I am not going to shops any time soon, apart from groceries, I can buy what I need online without having to stand in a designated spot, constantly run away from people and queue to get in. There is just no joy in life anymore and I am not sure when (if ever?) it will be back.

OP posts:

AquarianSquirrel · 18/06/2020 01:59

That could be applied to any situation. Homeless? You're alive, it could be so much worse.. etc etc etc There will always be someone in a better and worse position to you and no-one can tell you how to feel about a situation..well they can but you don't have to listen

That being said, of course it's helpful to look at the positive aspects in a situation and count your blessings. It's just that so many of the things that make life worth living are no longer possible. And then there's the anxiety over the future and about if you should see family and if you do worrying about passing anything on. People facing job losses and unable to access medical care for other illnesses.

And now apparently the world will end on sunday.. Mad times indeed. Just hope it holds off until we've have a nice Father's day!

glasgow357 · 18/06/2020 02:04

Why is the world ending?

isittheholidaysyet · 18/06/2020 02:05

Yes. It has got me badly in the last two weeks. There is just no end to it.

I feel broken. I'm now swinging between curling up in a ball crying, getting on with life feeling dead inside, and highly anxious periods when I have to leave the house and walk.

Spoke to the doctor today. Hopefully I can get some help somehow.

shud · 18/06/2020 06:53

It's having dc home and trying to work that's the biggest problem for me. I'm so busy as is dh that he is just put in front of a screen all day ☹️☹️☹️

Gov are doing nothing to help and it's pissing me off that ships and swimming pools etc can open but our poor kids are being neglected because their parents have to work

SnuggyBuggy · 18/06/2020 07:00

I agree, I can barely be bothered to get out of bed for another day. Even when it's over loads of our familiar businesses will fold, many of our friends are likely to lose jobs and have to move and rifts have opened up with our families which I don't think will be fixed whilst we are reliant on virtual communication.

I just feel negative, resentful and I'm struggling to get excited at the prospect of having to build a life again when just left with crap.

pigeon999 · 18/06/2020 07:03

I felt like you in the middle of lockdown, definitely, because there really was no end in sight in April! And it was dire.

I am in exhausted admittedly too, really deeply tired that won't shift with any amount of sleep. I have put this down to the stress of the last three months, and the body naturally decompressing as we come out the other side..I am not a doctor, so I could be wrong.

But now I can see some kind of end, and that is the 4th of July when MOST things will reopen and there will be respite for us in the shape of cinemas, cafes and entertainment of some kind. We can go on holiday in the UK at least.

I have abandoned trying to keep the children apart when we meet up unless they are much older (teen) it is utterly pointless, and will just ruin their fun. Can you not invite someone over to start with in your garden or in a park? I am sure you would feel better for seeing friends. Have a glass of wine and good moan about how awful it has been.

When I felt like you I made a long list of all the fun things we could do this summer, can you go away for a few days? Even camping would break up the monotony.

I blame fully the school closures, parents are at breaking point in some cases, children are at breaking point in some cases. Deep down on some level I will never looking at the teachers that supported this and the teaching unions in the same way ever again. They know that coming up with excuse after excuse to stay closed has damaged millions of children, and they don't care.

for you

AnimalCrossing · 18/06/2020 07:04

I am with you op. Everything is cancelled, I can’t do my do from home so I’ve had to work for all of this and is exhausting.

ginsparkles · 18/06/2020 07:12

I had been feeling the same but have recently started meeting with DD's best friend and her mum once a week for a socially distanced walk or bike ride. It's done us both (DD and I) the power of good. The kids don't always keep 2m apart if I'm completely honest, but we are outside and they have both been indoors for weeks now so I think the risk is minimal. In your shoes I would try and organise a walk with a friend, it does help to break the Groundhog Day feel.

AlfieandAnnieRose · 18/06/2020 07:16

Yes same here and was starting to think I was getting depressed as felt so low and exhausted all the time. I read up on emotional exhaustion and would say this is what I, and probably a lot of other people at the moment are feeling. Feelings of being stuck or trapped in a situation, feeling emotionally drained and lacking motivation.

Raising children all day every day and there’s no escape, having to work from home and add in financial stress. It’s really hard and these are unusual circumstances
www.healthline.com/health/emotional-exhaustion

BikeRunSki · 18/06/2020 07:18

I agree. Hare wfh and homeschooling (although either is fine on its own), hate not being to see DM (260 miles away). Hate that we have cancelled 2 holidays and 2 weekends away. Hare that there is no end point. Our holidays are very simple - self catering in Scotland, camping in the Lakes, but I look forward to them for months.

IgnoranceIsStrength · 18/06/2020 07:20

Feel very similar. Full time working from home and therefore ignoring my poor DC all day. We are also active people but finding weekends hard as our favourite parks all have great play equipment which shows no sign of being opened and the battle over then going for a walk once they have been refused to go on the slide just drains every time. My parents are 200 miles away so not seen them since Christmas and I am finding it really hard...especially as this is one of the last things to be lifted. So no end in sight

SnuggyBuggy · 18/06/2020 07:21

What's really frustrating is recognising that I have emotional exhaustion and burnout and there is now little I'm allowed to do that would actually help me.

loulouljh · 18/06/2020 07:23

I agree. I am working from home with the kids and it seems endless and joyless. They are bored with walking the only thing we really can go and do. I am so missing any time to myself. A night out would be lovey. A café for lunch so I don't have to produce just one meal. Seeing friends without thinking is it going to rain and we have to call off. A plan for going back to school. No more horrible homeschooling. A holiday to break up this endless year.

It will pass and get better but at the minute it just feels grim.

Tartan333 · 18/06/2020 07:27

I agree OP, it's awful, relentless, boring, depressing, joyless. All the fun has been sucked out of life. Weekdays and weekends blur into each other. I want my old life back.

wanderings · 18/06/2020 07:30

I'm trying to find some hope in the fact that the government is mostly not announcing freedoms in advance; only mentioning them the day before. Although they announced a few things in advance (shops, and then the things due to open on 4th July), mostly they've kept silent on easing restrictions, because they think that the naughty little people who pay their wages will take a mile if given an inch. I'm hoping that soon it will be "social distancing is reduced to 1m from tomorrow", or preferably scrapped altogether, just in time for whenever they intend to let the restaurants and hotels reopen.

But it is really hard, the way there is constantly no end in sight, and the way that absolutely nothing is being said about allowing back activities such as swimming, and recreational sports (I don't give a shit about Premier League footie, I won't consider my life normal again until I've got my netball back). When the buzz phrase was "there's light at the end of the tunnel", there really wasn't. The only glimmer of hope we had was Boris's initial "we can turn this around in twelve weeks", and even then, we knew that figure was just plucked out of the air like many other figures . The news keeps talking about a forthcoming crisis of obese youngsters: no shit Sherlock, if you take most of their exercise away. The allowed "exercise" is no match for what many would be doing regularly.

Even if they had announced provisional end dates, such as "masks on public transport for a two-month trial", instead of "until further notice", that would have made it more palatable, even if it ended up being extended.

SteelyPanther · 18/06/2020 07:32

I have had down times and very frustrated times, felt like I was in a sort of prison with my civil liberties removed !
I feel so sorry for DD not being at school. and I’m desperate to get back to work.
But things are slowly getting there. DD goes back to school for a few hours next week, and I had a socially distanced meet up with a couple of work colleagues in the park yesterday. They all want to do it again as we miss each other.
We are slowly getting there.

Tsubasa1 · 18/06/2020 07:33

I feel the same. I don't see any end, haven't seen family since October. Can't go out shopping, my daughters nursery has closed forever. I wake up depressed. I hate it.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 18/06/2020 07:36

As the poet WB Yeats said,

"All is changed, changed utterly, a terribly beauty is born"

As Yeats also said:

"Turning and turning in the widening gyre

The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world..."

Livpool · 18/06/2020 08:07

I completely agree.

And WFH I feel like I can never really escape from work - my desktop and 2 monitors are on my dining table all of the time.

beelola · 18/06/2020 08:13

I started out really positive, enjoying spending time with DC, getting loads of work done, studying, eating healthily and exercising.

I've had enough now. For some reason, I'm not balancing things very well anymore. I'm setting DC up with an activity and working while they do it, I'm exercising while they eat and studying in the bath. I'd send them back to nursery but it isn't opening until September.

DoTheNextRightThing · 18/06/2020 08:22

Same here, OP. I'm trying to stay positive, but my mental health is poor anyway, and what keeps me going is having things to look forward to. Now there is nothing. It's really hard not to just fall into a pit of depression. This year was supposed to be my first foreign holiday since I was 7 years old. Now I don't know when I'll ever have a holiday, home or abroad. I feel like my life has been stolen.

AvonCallingBarksdale · 18/06/2020 08:27

Thank you OP and others - I have found my people.
And for whoever said “for goodness sake...” It is actually possible to feel grateful to be alive AND feel despondent you know!

Oblomov20 · 18/06/2020 08:29

Totally agree. Similar. Both ds's at home. I'm Working jolly hard and there's nothing to look forward to.

SnuggyBuggy · 18/06/2020 08:29

I think most of us have a higher bar than just being alive.

FilthyforFirth · 18/06/2020 08:30

Agree OP. The not having anything to look forward to is the worst part. When things are shit, I like to plan for a time when they wont be shit, it helps you keep going.

I lost a very important holiday in March. I would love to be able to replan it but how? When will we be allowed to travel? So much is unknown. It is thoroughly depressing to have nothing to look forward to.

I am due my 2nd in Nov and clearly I am very excited for them to arrive but I worry about how life will be then. Start of winter, we may well have lockdown again. It just seems never ending. I cant see life ever going back to normal

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread