AIBU to think there is not much to look forward to?

[Desperado40]

I detest the 'new normal'. Struggling to WFH with 2 children, not at school. Failing at home schooling. The worst thing is, I just can't see an end to this. This is like a groundhog day and I don't know how we are going to survive the summer. Yes, lucky to still have a job (for now) and food on the table. I am obeying the rules, but the whole social distancing is so depressing, I can't even be bothered to be arranging meet ups in a park 2 meters apart. I don't understand how it is ok for some children to be now mixing in a group of 10-15 every day at school, but for others not be able to socialise with just one friend? I am not going to shops any time soon, apart from groceries, I can buy what I need online without having to stand in a designated spot, constantly run away from people and queue to get in. There is just no joy in life anymore and I am not sure when (if ever?) it will be back.

[nether]

I'm shielding, and am really worried that if everyone else abandons 2 metres, there will be nowhere safe for us to go outside (less than a fortnight since we were advised that going for daily exercise/leisure was not unduly unsafe)

I really, really hope that the 2m stays, because I don't want to find the world too unsafe for the 2.5million people who need that wider spacing.

Pragmatic solution is for premises to have the freedom to set different (closer, within government tolerances) distancing rules, so they can function more profitably.

And have a major information campaign about keeping no 2m away from strangers (as default, everywhere where no different spacing is notified) as you cannot tell who is shielding just by looking

[malificent7]

I am seeing a friend today. We have been to the beach and are going to the beach again at the weekend. The thing that is really keeping me sane though are my daily bike rides which is the only thing making me feel free.
This will pass...it wont be like this forever....it is shite though.

[Bathbedandbeyond]

I’ve had to resign and I’ve had to take a job earning 30K less. While I’m between jobs, it feels more manageable, but the entire situation is mind blowing

[Hoppinggreen]

I usually love the summer, I reduce my Freelance work, we go abroad a couple of times, meet friends, go to the seaside, meet my Mum for lunch and I miss the dc when they go back to school
I feel like this year we are looking at a long boring summer instead and everyone will be glad when it’s back to school time

[SerenaVanDerWoodsen]

This is exactly how I feel. I know some people have it a lot worse, but it just feels like I’m existing rather than living at the moment.

[Dollywilde]

What's really frustrating is recognising that I have emotional exhaustion and burnout and there is now little I'm allowed to do that would actually help me.

Totally @SnuggyBuggy. I’ve had some very dark times with my mental health in the past and have, over many years, worked hard to identify what puts me into those places, identify it when I feel that way, and take the proactive steps to move myself out of that. I can’t do anything for that third step now. It’s crap.

[secretllama]

I'm strangely finding it harder now that restrictions are easing. When everything was shut I was waiting for this magical date where I'm told everything's normal and open again.

Instead I'm seeing on TV how they're implementing social distancing in bars, restaurants, shops, theme parks etc and its beyond depressing that this is how the "leisure" industry is going to look. I wont be going to a bar to be separated by screens and treated like a cow following one way signs. That's not an enjoyable experience for me.

Plus the further this goes on, the more it seems like it will if that makes sense. We were told at the start it was to keep numbers low, flatten the curve etc but Scotland only having a handful of new infections a day and were still not back to normal so what's the end goal? Are we aiming to eliminate it completely before being normal again?

[Boulshired]

I think it dangerous to balance your mental health on the adage “it could be worse”. Anyone who is struggling should be allowed to express without the extra layer of guilt being applied, even it just admitting to themselves they are struggling.

[BogRollBOGOF]

My optomism has crept in a bit more this week, fed by an illegal hug after a bit of a breakdown last week, and bolstered by shops reopening. Not that I have any desire to go queuing in town, but it's the principle that a big ingedient of normal has reactivated. The previous week, the final straw for my moral was the loss of hope that my children can set foot in school this side of September.

4th of July and a further phase of reopenings is creeping nearer. Instead of going for a walk during school hours, I'll be able to take the kids on a beer garden crawl

It is frustratingly slow work. Our lives have changed in little substantial way since March other than being able to drive to get drenched in a different park. No concrete plans to look forwards to does mean feeling like drowning in an abyss of time.

I know what my blessings are, but sittinv there counting them for 3 months without change is not that motivating. We all have different issues, mine are opposite to many of my friends (who are overly stretched thin whereas I've lost all my structure generated through volunteering and social groups) but it's the same coin of life being very off-balanced which ever side it it.

It is healthy to express your feelings about it.

[MarcelineMissouri]

Yep. Usually at this time of year we’re happily planning our summer holiday, looking forward to the kids being off for 6 weeks(!?!) Enjoying the nice weather and light evenings.... now I’ll wait for someone to tell me I still can enjoy them, well sure, but really everything at the moment is underpinned with this sick anxious feeling that’s been sitting in my stomach for the last few months and makes it very hard to enjoy anything. Dh works in the leisure industry and the future of his job and company is very uncertain. My eldest won’t be back at school until September and his mental health is definitely beginning to struggle. I need a bloody haircut!!!
Normally we are out a lot - cinema, meals out, theme parks - these are all things we did very regularly. We have found it very hard to fill our time with endless walks - that’s just not really a thing we enjoy particularly as a family.
I have seen my mum once since February. My dad is 70 this week and I don’t know when I’ll be able to see him next.
I watch far too much news which doesn’t help, and normally I try to stay positive but at the moment it’s hard to see a way out. Especially when you look at eg Beijing, USA etc.
I am fed up of hearing people saying just be glad you’re alive.... how about living!! I appreciate the necessity of what’s happened to our lives but that doesn’t mean it isn’t very hard to cope with sometimes. And especially in days like today when it is shit and grey and rainy.

[BogRollBOGOF]

@secretllama

I'm strangely finding it harder now that restrictions are easing. When everything was shut I was waiting for this magical date where I'm told everything's normal and open again.

Instead I'm seeing on TV how they're implementing social distancing in bars, restaurants, shops, theme parks etc and its beyond depressing that this is how the "leisure" industry is going to look. I wont be going to a bar to be separated by screens and treated like a cow following one way signs. That's not an enjoyable experience for me.

Plus the further this goes on, the more it seems like it will if that makes sense. We were told at the start it was to keep numbers low, flatten the curve etc but Scotland only having a handful of new infections a day and were still not back to normal so what's the end goal? Are we aiming to eliminate it completely before being normal again?

At the start, we were kind of in it together. The roads were empty and the pavements packed. I saw people in my community in passing. Now many are back in cars, schools and workplaces so it's become more isolated in this shaddow normal.

Knowing you can meet people but they're either too busy or keeping you away like a toxic biohazard hurts more than the first 6-8 weeks of social contact not being allowed.

[ShipshapeShore]

I was so looking forward to a gig on Saturday which has obviously been cancelled . I was quite ill in December with a virus and chest infection (quite covid like, actually!) and knowing I was going to this cheered me up so much. And now I'm not going.

I have diabetes and have only really been out for walks since March. Not shielding but I've not been to any shops or anything. I want to get back to a bit of normality but after all these weeks, frankly I'm scared. All these rules make me anxious but I think I need to venture out a bit now. I'll have to at some point! I just can't imagine doing the simple things I used to look forward to like going for a wander round the shops, lunch etc. but thinking rationally I know things will change.

I was reading about changes to museums etc. when things reopen and with all the safety measures it just doesn't sound like a fun day out.

[MarcelineMissouri]

@secretllama what you posted is also exactly how I feel. I love shopping and on a personal level I judge my risk from cv to be low but I just don’t want to go shopping because it wont be the same at all.
And yes everyone treating each other like leper’s is very wearing. It goes against how we usually function as a society and I find it very unpleasant.

[WalesStar]

YANBU. I feel the same, nothing to look forward to, every day the same. It’s depressing.

[SomewhereEast]

YANBU. Its like all the joy & fun & spontaneity has been sucked out of life

[FromMarch2020]

YANBU

I feel for you. There are a huge number of people who are sad, depressed and struggling at the moment.

[SomewhereEast]

@Dollywilde I'm in the same boat as you. I've struggled my whole life with MH issues (thanks shitty traumatic childhood!) & have worked hard to build a life where I can manage them pretty well on a day to day basis. I even came off anti-Ds entirely last year. But all the big & little things which made life joyful for me are gone or severely curtailed now. So much of my life has been about existing rather than living (my family background was also quite poor) and now I'm finally living and....then suddenly I'm not??? Some people are coping well with this because their lives were small anyway & they like it that way. I don't.

[GalesThisMorning]

Is there nothing that has brought you joy over the past 3 months? For me it has been gardening and walking, basically just being outdoors. So I'm trying to do that as much as possible. Focus on what makes you happy here and now, on what you can do

[isittheholidaysyet]

I think the starting to get back is making it worse.
Some people I know now have their normal lives back. Meanwhile I am still stuck at home. And all I'm allowed to do is go for a walk.
I can meet friends, but not as a whole family as there are already 6 of us. So some of us can go out and meet people, but some have to stay home.

None of our normal activities are happening, many of them probably aren't even 4th July things.

Many of my friends have given up on the whole thing. And are inviting people round to their houses and stuff. I could go, but I worry because unlike them I can't afford the fines should we get caught.

[SnuggyBuggy]

Honestly for me no. I make myself go out for walks for health reasons but don't enjoy it because of all the pavement dodging and boarded up shops.

[GalesThisMorning]

@SnuggyBuggy

Honestly for me no. I make myself go out for walks for health reasons but don't enjoy it because of all the pavement dodging and boarded up shops.

That sounds awful. I'm really sorry. I live in a national park and my post probably sounds smug. I don't mean to. Hope it gets better for you soon.

[Chosennone]

It is getting easier though. March and April were tough.
But now things are reopening. You can drive to a local beauty spot and get ice cream/chips.
You can order a pub lunch to take away.

[BBCONEANDTWO]

@pigeon999

I blame fully the school closures, parents are at breaking point in some cases, children are at breaking point in some cases. Deep down on some level I will never looking at the teachers that supported this and the teaching unions in the same way ever again. They know that coming up with excuse after excuse to stay closed has damaged millions of children, and they don't care.


I feel you - it's absolutely disgusting what's gong on with our schools.

[isittheholidaysyet]

Is there nothing that has brought you joy over the past 3 months?

No not really. Having my husband at home in the evenings was nice for a while, but he is back working now.

All the things I have crafted my life around have gone.
The things I have tried to do to make up for my normal life being going, just remind me how much I've lost.
So walking in the village is an unusual activity for us, but doing it reminds me of the village activities we have had to cancel. And of the exercise (swimming) we love but can't do.
Having friends in the garden reminds me of all the nights out, meals in, we have cancelled.
Watching church online, reminds me church is shut.
Speaking to my family reminds me I'm not there.
Getting a takeaway from a cafe, reminds me that I can't go to the cafe.

And there is no sign of an end to it

[GalesThisMorning]

@isittheholidaysyet that sounds hard. I find that I'm looking at it differently and thinking about how much I have rather than how much I've lost, if you see what I mean. That's been helpful to me. I hope we will start to get some of the things we are missing back soon.