Who should travel?

[PumpkinP]

I posted this on another site but people though I was being unreasonable so thought I would see what MN thought. I have 4 kids with my ex, he ended things when I was pregnant with the youngest, he hasn’t been involved for 3 years but last saw them a year ago but that was just once. Recently he got back in contact asking to see them and I decided to discuss the possibility of him seeing them again. We spoke about it and he only wants to see them every other week for the day (no over nights) we live at opposites sides of London and neither of us drive and it takes about 2 hours to get to mine from his. He thinks I should be bringing them to him sometimes but I personally don’t agree as I do 100% of the parenting so I don’t think I should be travelling on top of it and also taking 4 kids around London on public transport isn’t easy, whereas him travelling down here alone and back alone isn’t anywhere near as hard and like I said I do all the parenting anyway so I think it’s the least he can do. So Aibu thinking he should do all the travelling?

Exactly that’s my point why do they need to go to his area if he isn’t taking them to his house, we have parks, cinema etc in my side of London. (Obviously when they are open)

Beginning to see why he has not seen them. You don,t want them round his as he has a shared home, you don,t want him round yours and you don,t want to meat half way. What do you want/ how ca you make this work?

Really @june2007? You’d not see your kids for an entire year because it was a bit inconvenient? Wouldn’t you miss them?

@pumpkinP - As at the moment your ex is pretty limited as to what he can do with your children to a picnic outside I think it would be a kind gesture to be a bit flexible on the day depending on the weather forecast. But other than that he needs to figure out what he does with the children himself.

june hasn't been back to say that the OP should put up with a lazy, work-shy wastrel who avoids child support, won't make an effort to see his kids and sexually harasses the OP when he does see them. And he moved.

june thinks everyone with a penis should be pandered to. On every thread. I do wonder if june might actually be julius. Otherwise the internalised misogyny is strong in this one.

Glad to know it’s not just on my thread then as I can’t honestly believe someone can say they can see why someone doesn’t bother to see their kids?! I would walk to the ends of the earth to see my children! And if he thinks I’m unreasonable then he could take me to court but he hasn’t/won’t, It’s bloody west London to south London and he doesn’t want to do it! Some people do that commute daily for work.

Anyway I messaged him at 2pm asking when he would like to see them and he has read it and not responded so maybe he doesn’t want to see them after all.

Op you just want to be told your not being unreasonable, you’ve been told on another site you are so left and told here and got defensive. Don’t ask for opinions (especially of strangers) if your going to be defensive over answers that you don’t like.

Well I’ve got very different answers on this site compared to the other haven’t I! So much sympathy for my ex on the other site. At least people have abit more common sense on this one!