To think it's a bit weird

[indecisivewoman81]

That my MIL sends my husband Father's Day cards?

It really winds me up.

My husband doesn't seem to think there is anything wrong with it. But I feel like it's totally not her place to do this.

I told him so and now we have had an argument and I am being made out to be irrational.

AIBU?

It’s a bit unusual but they make cards for everyone to send to everyone these days so where’s the harm ?

That kind of gives me the ick.

What’s the problem? Is he not a father?

It's a bit unusual but no harm done. She's probably just proud of him. I wouldn't make a fuss.

Why should it bother you? Let them get on with it.

Yeah, it's weird.

He's not her father...

Surely the problem is its not her job its his kids job and if they are too young then its their mothers job to do it on their behalf. Its not his mother's job to do it.

I would feel like they thought I wasn't going to bother organising it!

I organise them for my dp, both from my dc's and from his, but I expect someone in my ex's family to organise one for him, I would only expect someone else to do one for my dp if he didn't have a partner to do it.

Why does it wind you up? He’s a father right? What harm does it do?

Why would you pick this hill to die on?

Bit strange.

I think my issue is; that it's my place as his partner/wife to send him these sort of cards. And by her doing so it undermines me. Plus I feel like it's weird.

I'm all for her telling him he is a great father ?he is) and that she is proud of him (as am I) but a card on Father's Day saying "you are an amazing dad" is a step too far

Yep weird.

Does she sign them from him or from your children?

It’s a bit weird sending your son a Father’s Day card.

I was going to ask the same as LochJess,

Who is the card signed off from?

The first ever card (when our son was 6 months) was from our son!! And I was livid.

Since then it is from her.

What’s the problem? Is he not a father?

He's not her father, no.

Yes my MIL does this. The card is always huge and over the top "to the best father that ever lived" or similar.

I'm sure she thinks I'll forget it's father's day every year I've given up letting it bother me.

I put the card at the back behind the ones he gets from the children to make me feel better.

Are they from your children? I knew a mil who did this, her son lived with his children and his partner. The mil had spent years doing fathers day cards before he was with his partner. The mil didn’t want to give the new partner another job to do so carried on. She ended up doing the partner a card on Mother’s Day too so not to leave her out of feel weird.

Good point, Freddie does she send a mother day card to you Op? That would even things up a bit.

Hopefully she doesn't send a Valentine's card to dh too? Now that would be odd.

I’d find it weird. Like she’s suggesting you wouldn’t remember to give him a card on behalf of your children.

My MIL sends my husband a Valentine’s card. I think that’s worse.

Christ a Valentine's card is really inappropriate

Don’t see the problem. It’s a card! It will make him happy. I hope my sons wife doesn’t object to me buying cards when he grows up! Get over yourself 🙄

My mom gave me a Mother's Day card for my first Mother's Day and I didnt think it was weird at all, it was lovely to be acknowledged by her like that. If my MIL gave one to my Dh I'd be chuffed she recognised what a good dad he is, but I know her and she's be doing it out of a good place rather than showmanship or one upmanship on me or anything else. So I don't think it's outright weird.

A bit strange, but if you have an otherwise decent relationship with her, I would say just ignore it and move on. If she constantly tries to one up you, than it needs discussing with your partner.