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Why are ASDA normalising paedophilia and Child Abuse?

960 replies

Sunkisses · 16/06/2020 08:02

Is it OK for ASDA to send parents emails linking to an organisation that normalises paedophilia with red flag phrases such as "love has no age", and recommending books for children that contain explicit descriptions of child sex abuse? Why are they doing this? Are ASDA experts in home schooling and safeguarding? More details in this excellent thread by Safe Schools Alliance: twitter.com/SafeSchools_UK/status/1272638132589035520

OP posts:
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35
ShinyFootball · 18/06/2020 23:59

Have read the latest posts and thank you to ask those who have shared personal experiences.

People asking why/ how.

Reading through, I think it comes down to this.

  1. For Asda ( and other businesses). Woke points. Looking good by supporting a cause that they don't see as contentious (!). Women's girls, girls rights. Thorny. Anything that sounds like feminism is attacked knee jerk by a lot of people. Topics. Abortion? Even the BBC the fucking BBC, did not provide links to pregnancy advise places after a prog about abortion because it's a (forget the word) disputed topic or something. There were threads at the time. They changed it after complaints. Other topics. Rape. Sexual assault. Forced marriage. Forced pregnancy. Being imprisoned for a miscarriage. Sex trafficking. Etc. Across women and girls. Doesn't give you the warm and fuzzies does it. Where's the uplift and sparkle? Nope. Ditto a range of issues. Across the sexes. Homelessness and rough sleeping. Addiction. Poverty. Talking about endemic racism, even right now, is a tricky subject. So, what to do? Well everyone likes children and wants them to be happy. Trans issues are v hot topic everyone is on board. Let's do that!
Who shall we get to do it? Well these are all experts so sure any of them would be fine. Read the blurb, check the stuff? Nope. They will have picked a few and got them to pitch for the sponsoring and picked the one with the best pitch.
  1. For the orgs doing the rounds with this stuff? £££££. Not regulated I wouldn't have thought. And if some orgs can get GG to let male children in (against their charity charter) and rapists into female prisons and etc, then really they can write whatever they want. And I doubt they are all, or even mostly, setting out to erode boundaries etc. They are caught up in a fairy voided closed community who is confident that they are 'good' and they all go to talks given by each other and in a way, THEIR boundaries are eroded, and they see the dice game etc etc as a great way to get kids to talk about stuff and it's the in thing etc etc.
In addition, the charities sector has become v capitalist and lost sight of aims beyond bringing in money. I heard a lot of higher up bank execs who left/ lost jobs in the crash turned to the charities sector as it was less regulated. And they would have said, look we know how to bring you money in, so you can help people more. But they've just become about money. The amount of orgs offering this training etc to schools, councils, businesses etc is bonkers.
  1. Where is the oversight? I think 'we' (as a society) are used to thinking that someone somewhere, some law, some group, is keeping an eye on this. But if course we now know that's not how it works. We have learnt from Boris and trump that things we thought were no brainers in a democracy don't work if they just ignore the 'rules'. They have both told massive lies, to the public, etc. And people say that's a massive lie. And they shrug. Then what? Turns out the mechanisms are useless if people just ignore them. As with this. Legislation being misquoted widely (sex changed to gender in EA in schools, councils, loads of places that should know better). Law being broken (toilets and changing must be single sex by in schools by law in England and Wales). Lots of other examples. But there is no Central body making sure the law is adhered to. Turns out lots of people don't really understand it. e.g people filling in equality impact assessments thinking they only have to consider the group they are thinking of and not the others. Then you get e.g. Scotland EIA for putting self id trans women in women's prisons with a handwritten 'n/a' next to the impact on protected characteristic of sex.

Sorry this is long.

Bottom line is. Most people and orgs doing this are trying to do the right thing (schools) or make some money. The standards and norms have been pushed out by ???? people who are either stupid, bonkers, or have an aim.

The fact that stuff like GG letting in boys, rapists in women's prisons, women's sports open to all got done and in place without much attention (apart from a bunch of mainly middle aged women and who listens to them?). I think a lot of people think, not my problem, I'm sure they know what they're doing, help the kids, someone will have checked it's all ok.

So I think that's where we've got where we are. But the tide is turning for sure.

The thing that troubles me is that when you speak to people and say, rapists in women's prison, sports, etc etc they pretty much all say, well that's obviously wrong.

Is it so extreme that the general public don't believe it can be true?

On top of the fact it mainly effects women and girls, and as mentioned, boring old feminism Vs glitter sparkles? Well the feminists are such killjoys. Sparkles all the way.

Binterested · 19/06/2020 08:44

Plus a very cowed press. Where is the press on this ? Daily Mail should be all over this. The Guardian should be all over this ffs. I know it’s a laughable idea now but US owned supermarket sends links normalising a six year old’s extremely worrying sexual activity to children ought to be something the Guardian gives a shit about.

I look around for the grownups and find them nowhere. We are the only ones Sad

SerenityNowwwww · 19/06/2020 08:48

The guardian - don’t make me laugh. Unless it was to attack ‘hysterical women’.

Binterested · 19/06/2020 08:52

I know. Shame on them.

endofthelinefinally · 19/06/2020 09:24

I am looking for a link to the dice game to share with someone who doesn't believe it exists.
I have looked, but I don't know the name of it.
Would be grateful if anyone has one.
TIA.

SerenityNowwwww · 19/06/2020 09:29

So that wasn’t in the ASDA pack I believe - but in some school packs.

justanotherneighinparadise · 19/06/2020 09:35

The dice game is part of The Proud Trust’s agender packs which is apparently suitable for secondary aged pupils.

www.theproudtrust.org/training-and-education/secondary-education-resources/sexuality-agender/

cheeseismydownfall · 19/06/2020 09:42

The link to the pack mentioned by the PP
www.theproudtrust.org/shop/general-shop/educational-resources-secondary/sexuality-agender-v2/

It shows the dice absolutely exists, but doesn't screenshot the accompanying matrix (the matrix is the particularly disturbing bit).

I'm currently trying to establish exactly how many schools it has been distributed to.

justanotherneighinparadise · 19/06/2020 09:46

I can almost visualise the teacher’s face as they pull that piece of paper out the pack! I would bet you anything it would be cast aside as inappropriate.

cheeseismydownfall · 19/06/2020 09:52

You may be interested to know that The Proud Trust has received funding from (among many others) the National Lottery Fund, Children in Need and the Department for Culture, Media & Sport. So it is understandable that a school with limited resources would make the assumption that the materials it publishes are appropriate for their purpose and would not see the need to scrutinise them.

cheeseismydownfall · 19/06/2020 09:56

@shinyfootball I think that is a pretty comprehensive analysis of everything that has gone wrong, thank you.

endofthelinefinally · 19/06/2020 09:59

Thank you.
OMG that dice!!!
For 13 year olds???
When I was 13 I would have been hugely embarrassed if that had been produced at school.

cheeseismydownfall · 19/06/2020 10:10

@endofthelinefinally, quite. It is horrifying to consider the additional pressure that will be placed on teen girls (and boys) to 'be cool' with sexual activity they are uncomfortable with when their school is normalising and even promoting anal sex. FFS.

Clymene · 19/06/2020 10:26

This is the matrix that accompanies the dice game. It features discussion about inserting objects into anuses and vaginas and how it can be pleasurable for two (or more!) penises to be rubbed together or how you can insert one penis under another penis's foreskin.

Female body parts are glossed over - they are vulva/vagina and the clitoris gets a passing mention. Breasts are ignored entirely.

There is nothing about safe sex, nothing about consent or coercion

The pack is aimed at children of 13+

www.theproudtrust.org/shop/general-shop/educational-resources-secondary/sexuality-agender-v2/

It also urges the reader to hold their nerve - it's important to explore different ways of having sex.

Why are ASDA normalising paedophilia and Child Abuse?
Datun · 19/06/2020 10:26

[quote cheeseismydownfall]@endofthelinefinally, quite. It is horrifying to consider the additional pressure that will be placed on teen girls (and boys) to 'be cool' with sexual activity they are uncomfortable with when their school is normalising and even promoting anal sex. FFS.[/quote]
Which would also be illegal for the majority of them.

Datun · 19/06/2020 10:29

Breasts are ignored entirely.

It's so telling. So damn telling. Whoever wrote this, the idea that girls' pleasure might be given any airtime has clearly produced a who? What?

Enderthedragon · 19/06/2020 10:36

Thank you @Clymene for posting that matrix. Is it somewhere on Twitter or a website as I unfortunately I can't read it from this screenshot? What the hell is the 'hold your nerve' bit?!!!

IrmaFayLear · 19/06/2020 10:39

My ds at 13 was a world away from puberty. This would all have been utterly bewildering for him.

As pp mentioned, isn’t there an age of consent? Confused I guess that’s discriminatory and not inclusive to those who like to think about 13-year-old boys and sex....

Who wrote this stuff? Edited it? Printed it? Perverts - the lot of them.

MrsWednesdayteatime · 19/06/2020 10:44

When I was at school we did a very similar activity to the dice game. We had a pack of cards with different sex acts written on them. We sat in a circle, (a mixed sex group) we had to take a card and explain what the word was.

This was sixth form, so most of us were 17/18, a lot of us did biology A level together so knew about reproduction, we were a friendly fairly kind group of kids. BUT oh! I can still feel the embarrassment, I can picture exactly where I am sat in the room, I can feel my heart beating and my cheeks burning as I have to take a card from that pack. The card I got said...... fellatio, I knew what oral sex was but didn't know that was a word for it, I felt so ashamed

I think the biggest lesson I learned from the activity was that talking to adults about sex and relationships was really, really embarrassing and to be avoided.

The dice game seems a massive step up from the card game and with so much younger children, it's just horrible.

Clymene · 19/06/2020 10:46

It's on Shelley Charlesworth's twitter Ender: twitter.com/charlesworth102/status/1263883667694387203/photo/1

This is what the Hold your Nerve bit says: "Not all combinations are easy to discuss and some might seem impossible. The aim is to get people talking and to also limit assumptions about what kind of sex people have. Every combination is worthy of a conversation!"

[nb - I don't think they mean 'also limit', I think that's supposed to say 'not limit']

Instructions are as follows:
"Each time the dice have been rolled, find information in the body parts combination grid to aid your discussions. One dice side can be found along the top of the grid, the other dice down the left hand side, there they meet in the grid is the relevant information. All possible combinations are represented here."

PurpleCrowbarWhereIsLangCleg · 19/06/2020 10:50

From the Proud Trust link, if you follow the 'more information' link:

'When we explore the often banded about phrase “gay sex”, we soon come to the conclusion that there is actually, no such thing.'

Hmm
Clymene · 19/06/2020 10:50

I've just noticed it says 'some vaginas will produce moisture called lubricant during arousal'.

So teenagers are being taught that a dry and unaroused vagina is perfectly normal. It isn't and that's how vaginas can become damaged when you shove things into them. I am so angry about this crap and how girls' pleasure is just a secondary consideration.

StayinginSummer · 19/06/2020 10:56

It is the thought that someone being abused or vulnerable to abuse is confronted with the dice game. It could be triggering and provoke confusion and shame. It is also directly introducting adult themes of sex to minors. Isn’t that one of the defintions of abuse? Wouldn’t any teacher introducing this to children be unwittingly abusive?

It’s one thing a child seeking out individually information to satisfy their curiosity about sex, from a website like NSPCC. It’s quite another for an authority figure to enforce talk about sex to a 13 year old, in front of their class mates. What if they were going out with a 14 year old boy, in the same class, who then pressures them both to ‘try out’ these? What if a teacher is abusing one and it becomes more legitimate because they can bring up sex? What if a family member is doing one of these things to them, but it’s discussed and told that this is okay?

JemimaShore · 19/06/2020 10:57

Female body parts are glossed over - they are vulva/vagina and the clitoris gets a passing mention. Breasts are ignored entirely.

OMG this is such a good point!

This is a male-centric pack - written by males, for males.

I'm even more angry about that bloody dice now - if that's even possible Angry

Enderthedragon · 19/06/2020 11:09

Thanks

[nb - I don't think they mean 'also limit', I think that's supposed to say 'not limit']

I read it to mean 'limit assumptions that people only have that ghastly vanilla type of sex'.

What the fuck is that bit about 'some vaginas' producing lubricant? So if a girl isn't producing lubricant because she isn't actually aroused then she will just think that it's because she doesn't come under the 'some vaginas category'? Dry vaginas are not normal during sex and things definitely shouldn't be put in them! Fuck me, this just gets worse by the minute!