AIBU over bfs gaming

[Smeghead97]

I am currently pregnant with no other kids and live with my boyfriend. He plays video games in the living room, usually loud shooter type games which I have no issue with as I know it's something he enjoys sometimes he stays up till 4am playing and i never complain even though i rarely ever get use the xbox or tv.
Everyday he goes on mic/voice chat/party with a friend of his who has 2 kids, one around 2 years old the other maybe 6-12 months.

Now here's my issue. Today I had to leave the house to run errands and had no time for breakfast or even a drink and had to walk a few miles. I had very little sleep last night as I was constantly up peeing (sorry if tmi) so when I got home I was exhausted and pretty much went straight to bed. Within minutes I could hear a baby crying and said friend and daughter being very loud through the mic. It was as if there were 3 extra people in the flat. If I could have closed the bedroom door or moved further away from the living room I would have but I can't as the bedroom door leads directly into the living room.

I came out and mouthed to my boyfriend that I was getting annoyed with having to constantly listen to someone else's baby crying even though we were no where near them. He ended his game with friend and I explained that while we have no children in our house and I'm really tired I just don't want to have to hear someone else's kids being loud in my own home. Fair enough if we were in there home or we had invited them to ours but this was not the case. I understand that kids will be kids and they don't come with a volume control but this happens almost everyday and on top of it sometimes we have to listen to friends girlfriend shouting/arguing too.

I didn't mention my issue to the friends and only spoke to my bf asking if he could ask his friend to turn down his mic sensitivity so that we could only hear him and not everyone in his house. I also suggested that bf use headphones rather than having the mic noises come through the tv but bf thinks I'm being vile and thinks it's horrific that I find it annoying. Bfs friends gf knows that our bfs are playing video games on mic but will happily sit with her crying baby right next to him meaning we have to hear everything.

I could understand if they worked and had come home exhausted just wanting to play video games but neither of us work and bfs friend and gf are stay at home parents. Aibu to think I deserve peace and quiet in my home before my own baby comes? Sorry it's a long read 😊

Ask him to get a decent pair of gaming headphones.

Yeah he needs headphones. Who wants a crying child noise when it can be avoided.

He should get headphones, end of discussion. You are compromising by allowing him to indulge in his hobby, the least he can do is return the favour.

Both bf and his friend have headphones, bf just chooses not to use them unfortunately

Maybe you should worry that his friend is ignoring his partner and kids, and Ide be more worried that this is what you have to look forward.

He sounds like a right twat

YANBU even without the fact that you're pregnant and tired, why on earth isn't he wearing his headphones?? My DP games a few hours a week only and will automatically put on his headphones unless he's home alone.

I tend to agree with @Guiltypleasures001 I'm afraid. Is this the only way in which he's selfish and deliberately overlooks your needs/wants? Is he doing his fair share of the errand running, especially if your living situation means you're having to walk a long way and back?

I don’t blame the gf for having the crying child right next to him. Perhaps she’s sick of dealing with the baby all the time by herself while her bf plays video games? I wouldn’t think very much of the bf in this situation and it would slightly concern me that my bf didn’t care about his friend being a rubbish father and partner, as I would worry he’d still be gaming all the time as well once our baby was born.

Gosh I have so many questions.

1. Why doesn't he use headphones?
2. Why does your boyfriend say you are vile for wanting him to wear them?
3. Why are you so bloody passive about this all? Relentless noisy gaming, hogging the living room and tv etc
4. How are you going to bear it when the baby is here and this is still going on (and it will)?
5. How does he fund the gaming and how will you find baby if neither of you work? Are you minted?

He's inconsiderate but you sound like a complete doormat. If I could never use the playstation or the tv because my husband was hogging it all the time then I'd definitely complain. Stand up for yourself a bit

Why couldn't he have gone on the errand if you've been up all night and you're tired?

How do they both afford to be SAHP? Are you all rich?

He doesn't need the sound coming through the TV though. It's annoying for me and I have played games with the mic and headphones. It sounds like he is just being awkward.

I wouldn’t worry about the headphone situation long term - he’ll soon decide they’re the better option once his own kid is crying in the flat and he doesn’t want to it to interrupt his game.

I’d be more worried about how little he’s going to help with the baby if he’s gaming that much tbh. Never mind the fact that he’s clearly not very nice to you.

I want the same questions as @BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz answering.

My dh is a gamer, he was all set up in the spare room when we had dd. However we now have ds too, so he had to move into the livingroom. First thing he did was go out and buy a decent headset. Why won't your bf use his, it's counter productive all round, causes more noise for you to listen too and any noises you make will distract him from the games 🤦‍♀️

I have headphones and your BF is being a complete dick not wearing any. It also echos back down the mic so that is probably why everyone is really shouting.

His response is unacceptable. My DP loves gaming, it doesn't bother me. Why? Because he plays at appropriate times, makes time for us, gaming never comes before me, he has his own set-up so it doesn't stop me doing anything and he has headphones!

He needs to get a small tv he can put somewhere else for his xbox/ps4 and wear headphones. Tough shit. I would honestly dump someone if they refused to comply with such basic requests.

I'm afraid I agree with the others. He's very selfish and doesn't seem to care much for the needs of his pregnant wife.

I doubt he's going to care much about yours or your baby's needs when baby is born either.

What's happening on the other end is of no concern since it wouldn't matter at all if he'd put his headphones on.

My DH is an avid gamer, however he wears headphones and has a set up in the spare room as I don’t think it’s fair to hog the living room.

We have a ten month old and if she was woken by his gaming I would hit the roof! How does he propose to deal with the noise when you have your own baby?

I think the fact he is already dismissing you is a big red flag, if he isn’t considerate to you when pregnant then I worry for you when your baby is here. I would also be concerned about how helpful he will be once your baby arrives.

Time to put the foot down as they say x

I can't believe you have asked your bf's friend/gf to keep it down. It is nothing to do with them. This is all down to your BF having absoltely 0 respect for you. Unbelievable.

His response is unacceptable. My DP loves gaming, it doesn't bother me. Why? Because he plays at appropriate times, makes time for us, gaming never comes before me, he has his own set-up so it doesn't stop me doing anything and he has headphones!

Same.

Do you really think that you're going to be able to rely on him once your baby arrives?

I would be sitting down and talking about a plan for how you are both going to cope with baby's arrival.

And I would be putting together a back up plan for what you do if he doesn't change.

Do you think this man-child is going to grow up when he becomes a father?

How long is he gaming for if you're never able to use the TV? If this is the only TV in the house then he's being totally unreasonable hogging it to play all day/night

He has to use his headphones, simple.

That would completely do my nut in. I’d have run for the hills by now. Does he contribute anything to the relationship?