AIBU over bfs gaming

[Smeghead97]

I am currently pregnant with no other kids and live with my boyfriend. He plays video games in the living room, usually loud shooter type games which I have no issue with as I know it's something he enjoys sometimes he stays up till 4am playing and i never complain even though i rarely ever get use the xbox or tv.
Everyday he goes on mic/voice chat/party with a friend of his who has 2 kids, one around 2 years old the other maybe 6-12 months.

Now here's my issue. Today I had to leave the house to run errands and had no time for breakfast or even a drink and had to walk a few miles. I had very little sleep last night as I was constantly up peeing (sorry if tmi) so when I got home I was exhausted and pretty much went straight to bed. Within minutes I could hear a baby crying and said friend and daughter being very loud through the mic. It was as if there were 3 extra people in the flat. If I could have closed the bedroom door or moved further away from the living room I would have but I can't as the bedroom door leads directly into the living room.

I came out and mouthed to my boyfriend that I was getting annoyed with having to constantly listen to someone else's baby crying even though we were no where near them. He ended his game with friend and I explained that while we have no children in our house and I'm really tired I just don't want to have to hear someone else's kids being loud in my own home. Fair enough if we were in there home or we had invited them to ours but this was not the case. I understand that kids will be kids and they don't come with a volume control but this happens almost everyday and on top of it sometimes we have to listen to friends girlfriend shouting/arguing too.

I didn't mention my issue to the friends and only spoke to my bf asking if he could ask his friend to turn down his mic sensitivity so that we could only hear him and not everyone in his house. I also suggested that bf use headphones rather than having the mic noises come through the tv but bf thinks I'm being vile and thinks it's horrific that I find it annoying. Bfs friends gf knows that our bfs are playing video games on mic but will happily sit with her crying baby right next to him meaning we have to hear everything.

I could understand if they worked and had come home exhausted just wanting to play video games but neither of us work and bfs friend and gf are stay at home parents. Aibu to think I deserve peace and quiet in my home before my own baby comes? Sorry it's a long read 😊

@madcatladyforever I'm sorry for your experiences because that sounds shit (and in fairness not too far from what the OP is experiencing, which is a worry) but don't tar everyone with the same brush. My DP would probably class himself as a 'gamer' (has taken a couple of days of annual leave for a big new release in the past etc) but has a great full time job and usually plays, respectfully of me, for maybe 8 hours a week or so max. We have one TV and he will always ask if I mind before he starts, even though generally he only plays when I'm doing something else entirely and the TV wasn't even on. When he is playing he'll check in regularly to make sure I'm happy with whatever else I'm doing and not just tolerating his game.

I won't even consider going out with men who are gamers because that's all they will do for hours and hours at a time.

madcatladyforever Incorrect. Those are called selfish bastards and cannot moderator their behaviour regardless of what they’re into

DH is a gamer, and he knows how to be considerate, respectful and look after his family. He doesn’t “game for hours on end” and ignore me and he doesn’t check out of family life.

As I said, the only people that do are selfish bastards.

No job,a criminal record and games all the time soon-to-be daddy? Wow! Most responsible adults would be out busting their asses to support their partner and future child washing cars or mowing grass or waiting tables! I'm sure someday soon I'll be able to download his best selling book "How to be successful"

He sounds like a catch....did you have a row with your brains at some point op?

Why are you having a baby with a little boy ? Is he going to sit on his arse playing games when your baby arrives ? You need to sort this out now.

He says he will " try" use headphones - why does he need to try, Surely you just put them on your head it's not hard and requires zero effort. What he means is he'll try to be arsed but will forget all the time.

You aren't making him sound worse than he is - he is awful. So sorry OP but you need a wake up call.

You can find a useless cocklodging male like this on any street corner. If he was any kind of a man he would be working out how he is going to support his partner and child, labouring cash in hand, fruit picking, meat packing, anything.

He is an ex con, he'll never support his family, he games until 4am which means he'll be too tired to look after the baby during the day when you are trying to find work or train for work.

You are disabled yet you are doing everything and I guarantee 100% you will be doing ALL of the childcare.

When the baby is awake all night and you just want to feed or settle in front of the tv because you are so tired and fed up he will be hogging the tv and gaming.

Has he offered to source a second hand tv for you to watch somewhere else in the flat? Of course not - because he only thinks of himself.

Leave this utter waste of space and strike out on your own, you don't need lame ducks and excess baggage, life is hard enough. Trust me I've had partners like this - they always get worse never better.

Sorry but a nice bloke doesn't do this:

I also suggested that bf use headphones rather than having the mic noises come through the tv but bf thinks I'm being vile and thinks it's horrific that I find it annoying.

Even if he then backtracks to this:

Bf has since apologized and said he will try to use headphones from now on.

He'll "try" to use headphones?! If he's capable of putting them on his own fucking head why is it an effort?

God he sounds exhaustingly immature.

Bf has since apologized and said he will try to use headphones from now on.

Does he have sensory issues (like ASD or similar) that makes it difficult for him to wear certain headphones?

If not, then I'd just quote Yoda back at him. There's no freaking "try" about it, mate!

In our house (and admittedly I'm dealing with teenagers as opposed to full grown manbabies), we have lots of sensory issues and need certain headphones, etc. But the bottom line is that if people can't be considerate to others, the device goes off.

Fiancé is a gamer and I am sorry your partner sounds totally selfish and inconsiderate. If he wants to game he needs to use the headphones but more importantly he needs to start helping you. If that means he can only play 2 hours at night though it's called being an adult

Its really simple, he needs headphones. I have kids (big now) but no way would I want to listen to a baby crying / partner talking to his friends / them arguing. Sounds hellish.

Record the noise and play it fill blast in his ear when he is trying to sleep. He is a selfish arsehole, what exactly does he bring to the relationship?

My DH is a gamer. He uses headphones. He plays on his computer so I have free reign of the tv. When I have a question or whatever he will instantly yank off his headphones and listen to me. If that means that he loses the game, then he loses the game. He does chores around the house without me asking for anything. He does all this because he isn't a selfish twat.

Please give the baby your surname. That mates girlfriend sitting with her crying baby being ignored? That's going to be you.

Is your boyfriend doing anything to try to get back into work? Doesn't sound like much of a partner if he can't be bothered to at least put his headphones on so he doesn't wake you