...to be in tears already - at work [wfh]

[ILoveJoeBrown]

DS17 is doing an important exam upstairs; parrot is squawking in living room; dog was outside, barking at next door's builders; I'm working at my desk in the kitchen, in the middle of something.

DH comes marching down in his towel to remonstrate with me as I haven't brought the dog in yet as he'll be upsetting the neighbourhood and disturbing DS's exam - never mind the noise the builders are making.

Already feeling the tears coming. Silly things make me cry and I feel constantly under pressure that I'm not doing enough.

Anyone else feeling weepy at everything?

Aw I feel you op. We're both wfh, I'm pregnant, have a 3yo and a puppy. It's hard going

Ps just a tip. Letting the dog go in and out when he wants is actually detrimental to toilet training. If you have the head space for it set an alarm every 2 hours (adjust time for age/size/breed) , take him outside and give praise and treat every time he does the toilet outside.

@pastabest - it sounds as though life is very stressful for you at the moment - you are doing amazingly to juggle all that you are. I'm sorry that your partner is being so unsupportive and actually adding to your stress.
I would imagine your job is stressful at the best of times?
Contact your GP and explain how you are feeling - it may be that some time off sick and maybe medication would do you the world of good.
I understand that you are worried about your caseload - but have a think about yourself - you can't pour from an empty cup, some time off will give you a chance to breathe and spend time with your DC and to think about how your future might look. Take care of yourself

Stopping the dog from barking is the responsibility of who ever was closest to the back door. That was you.

Your son is doing an exam. When the dog starts barking, you get up and bring it in. You ignored it. Your husband got out of the bath and came down in just a towel because he could tell you weren't going to sort it out and he was worried about your son trying to do his exam. I would have snapped at you too and asked why you hadn't bothered to get up.

OP @ILoveJoeBrown - no advice, just a handhold! 💐

If I was in the bath or shower and DH was letting the dog bark I would be pretty annoyed.
And I know how doors work, but haven't figured out how to operate them from the shower yet.

Tbf, I go at mad at whoever is closest to the dog if they're ignoring him barking. A barking dog is one of the most annoying sounds in the world so I'm on DH's side on that one, I'm afraid.

@ILoveJoeBrown try a thunder shirt for the dog if this is going to be a long term building project - they’re fantastic at calming anxiety , I just wish they did human ones

Anyone else feeling weepy at everything?

Well I didn't think I was, then I went on the M&S website and watched their video about how they're making their shops safe as they reopen. At the end a group of socially distanced staff say "we look forward to seeing you soon" together and I started welling up!! WTF??

I think I'd due on soon though, so it's probably just my hormones!

The dog needs bringing inside, we all have our stresses with the current situation and the dog barking isn't fair to the neighbourhood.

Your son is doing an exam. When the dog starts barking, you get up and bring it in. You ignored it. Your husband got out of the bath and came down in just a towel because he could tell you weren't going to sort it out and he was worried about your son trying to do his exam. I would have snapped at you too and asked why you hadn't bothered to get up.

Yep. The same people who are criticising him would be all over it and backing you 100% if you'd posted as the one in the shower and your OH had been next to the open door, ignoring the dog.

Hi, I notice your question is ‘Anyone else feeling weepy at everything?’ (not ‘please advise me about my dog/marriage’ )
Yes, I think lots of us are who are working from home while simultaneously being the person mainly or exclusively responsible for the home & children. It’s too much to ask of a human being.
On a practical level, have you and DH agreed which of you is working when? Or, more specifically, which one of you is the lead for all things home & children at any given time? As an example, he should be the lead homemaker 7am-12 noon if your work takes priority 7am-12. That would include letting the dog out and in! He can always shower in the evening.

I have spent the last hour just crying. I feel your pain.

I have a dog that barks when people work on the house next door or walk past. I also work from home. I get up every time and get him or calm him and I HAVE to do that.

It's part of being a responsible dog owner.

Sometimes everything just gets on top of you, doesn't it? It can feel impossible to deal with one more thing (even if it is just telling the dog to shut up!)

Try to let it go for now if you can - nothing terrible has happened and dogs bark sometimes.

OP: I'm feeling overwhelmed and tearful and DH is being critical rather than JFD what he can to help. Here is an example from this morning involving the dog.

MN: you are a bad dog owner.

R u due on period? Maybe why? I was same am same when due on found taking primrose oil really helped.

Kids bk at school full time (keyworker working from home) currently sat in garden eating pasta enjoying sun bl at work at 1 chilled !

"Your DH is a dick"

Really? OP, you need to put the dog inside

I would have brought him inside, but I'm working and at that time, I was right in the middle of something I could not just drop. I should add that the dog does not bark constantly, but the builders were being esp noisy at the time. He's been outside again since my son finished his exam an hour ago and hasn't barked once.

@rookiemere teacher here, no way is that your responsibility and you are most definitely not a shitty parent!! Your DS must be year 9? If one of my year 9s didn't do his assignment then the last thing I'd think is "why didn't his mum make him do it/help him with it". I'd tell off the kid, give him an extension. Omg lose this expectation of yourself, he doesn't need it, he needs to sort out his own HW 😅
Also OP, big sympathy and I really agree with the PP who said your DH expended more energy ranting at you than just sorting the dog himself, towel and all.

Spent the last 2 weeks crying at everything, you are not alone. Its very tough at the moment.

Your DH is an arse. Who made him the God of everything?

If he was also working and it was annoying him, he should deal with it. If he wasnt working then he should deal with it. Basically not your problem.

You need to have words when you are feeling stronger. In the meantime have a virtual hug from us.

I don’t think your DP did anything wrong.

But you are obviously having a bit of a hard time.

A baby gate across the door would be perfect, allowing you to have the door open and fresh air but the dog can’t go out to bark at the builders.

@mogtheexcellent

Your DH is an arse. Who made him the God of everything?

If he was also working and it was annoying him, he should deal with it. If he wasnt working then he should deal with it. Basically not your problem.

You need to have words when you are feeling stronger. In the meantime have a virtual hug from us.

Why on earth is he an arse?

For expecting OP to stop the dog barking while he was upstairs in the shower and OP was sat downstairs next to the open door into the garden? I know MN likes to believe all men are dicks but calling him an arse is a bit of a stretch!

If I was in the shower and DH was in the living room and left the dog in the garden to bark, I would be asking him what he was playing at!

@WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat

Could you train the parrot to tell the dog to stop barking?