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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I'm missing something and the rules have changed for social gatherings? Genuinely confused

59 replies

Peterbishopssarcasticsmile · 15/06/2020 07:54

This isnt goady...
Lots of people I know seem to have had parties or gatherings in their houses this weekend
I have to admit I haven't been watching all the daily briefings now but thought it was only single person households that could go into another chosen household?
Are we okay to go visit our parents etc now? I've looked online but can't see anything

OP posts:
WorstGovtEver · 15/06/2020 07:58

The rules have become so deliberately confusing that everyone is just doing as they please now.

And then you have all the 'it only affects the over 65' brigade doing as they please whilst calling everyone who is a bit more cautious 'dementors'. So they are just doing what they want anyway.

It has been a mess of a pandemic response from start to finish.

Calic0 · 15/06/2020 07:58

The guidance is all set out here:

www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-outbreak-faqs-what-you-can-and-cant-do/coronavirus-outbreak-faqs-what-you-can-and-cant-do#gatherings-public-spaces-and-outdoor-activities

According to this, you shouldn’t be going into other houses for the most part unless it’s a support bubble.

BendingSpoons · 15/06/2020 07:59

You can have outdoor gatherings (including in gardens) of up to 6, as long as different households socially distance. You can go in the house only to use the toilet. You can have barbecues but are ideally meant to bring your own food and not share utensils etc Hmm Of course not everyone is following this to the letter...

Calic0 · 15/06/2020 07:59

Whether anyone is paying a blind bit of notice to that anymore is quite another matter...

MuddlingThrough1724 · 15/06/2020 08:01

Totally agree......the actual rules vs what you see people doing are so far apart from each other that the rules are totally irrelevant now! I thought I must have missed an announcement about families going in to each others homes last weekend when we went for a walk......virtually every other house we passed had people turning up and walking in the front door!

Original poster
Peterbishopssarcasticsmile · 15/06/2020 08:03

That's what I thought muddling I said to DH have we missed something as we went on our evening walk and there were so many gatherings and parties going on

OP posts:
UncleShady · 15/06/2020 08:05

We're having a fox, chicken oats and the river situation whereby I live in a family of 6 - so theoretically we can't meet anyone else, even though we all pose the same risk. My sister lives alone and hasnt formed a bubble with anyone, but since she's not got any children and isn't having sex with anyone in my house, she can't form a bubble with us - she's had coronavirus as well. My father has formed a bubble with his partner. We all wanted to meet up (minus dad's partner) - that 1 person who has recovered from CV, 4 kids and 1 adult who haven't been out at all, and 2 supermarket once a week only people. Pragmatically it's very low risk/high benefit. Still illegal though.

HugeAckmansWife · 15/06/2020 08:07

The guidance is there as posted above but I think actually people are now appreciating that the risk in the community, as opposed to hospitals and care homes is now v low and are making their own assessment which I have no problem with.

tappitytaptap · 15/06/2020 08:09

@UncleShady I’m sure she can form a bubble with you - any single adult household? My brother is going to form a bubble with my parents as he lives alone even though he’s an hour away.

Megan2018 · 15/06/2020 08:09

It’s difficult- my parents visited us yesterday in the garden. They bought their own food And fold up table and chairs. They did have to use our downstairs loo though as it’s a 3hr round trip and they were with us for 6hrs.

But there was a huge downpour for an hour so they did end up sheltering in the kitchen just inside the french doors but we maintained social distancing. Still breaking the “rules” though.

People are making the rules suit themselves.

Shoxfordian · 15/06/2020 08:09

Up to 6 people can meet in gardens as long as they socially distance, you can walk through a house to get to the garden or use the toilet but you're not supposed to all sit inside together.

Starbuggy · 15/06/2020 08:12

uncleshady single adult households can form a bubble with one other household, regardless of whether they have kids, it doesn’t have to be a sexual partner.

fartyface · 15/06/2020 08:14

Uncle shady my understanding is your sister can form a bubble with you.

Who has had it or not is also not relevant for this.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 15/06/2020 08:14

My sister lives alone and hasnt formed a bubble with anyone, but since she's not got any children and isn't having sex with anyone in my house, she can't form a bubble with us

She doesn’t need to have children or be having sex with someone in your house. As long as she’s the only person living in her house she can form a bubble with one other household. But she has to stick with that household. I think you could then meet up with your father outside. As long as he and his partner stay 2m away from your household/bubble.

SnuggyBuggy · 15/06/2020 08:15

A lot of people have given up on the rules now

RedskyAtnight · 15/06/2020 08:17

A lot of people aren't now following the guidelines and are just doing what suits them. Sometimes with some claim that they have "risk assessed" that what they are doing is safe. Which I actually would have no problem with, if I thought they were all doing proper risk assessments rather than basing them on what they want the answer to be.

"I've been totally isolated since lockdown and I'd like to see my parents who have also been totally isolated" - you go for it;

"There's a low incidence of cases in my town (let's quietly ignore all the visitors who come in for day trips from all over the place) and I haven't got any symptoms so I'm going to go and talk to whoever I want even if I have underlying health conditions and am over 70" - no mother, this really isn't a good idea ...

Aragog · 15/06/2020 08:25

We had a BBQ in our garden with friends this weekend. There was actually seven of us, but only two households. We applied common sense that in that situation 7 was far risky than when people meet up with 5 others all from different households. We went for a walk but the households did SD during that and we SD during the BBQ as I'd moved the garden furniture further apart before they even came.
They did use our downstairs toilet, but we used a different one whilst they were here and we cleaned it when they'd life.
They used our utensils and crockery but figured as they get a hot dishwasher wash after it's pretty much fine.

We also had a BBQ yesterday in MIL's garden and again there were 7. Until recently mil was staying with us and then bil and nieces were there. We were there for the burial of fil's ashes and we happy to break the guidelines a little for this purpose.

AntennaReborn · 15/06/2020 08:26

Scrolling through FB I also thought I had missed a memo: birthday parties, baby showers, kids parties, none of them socially distanced and all of them involving several households.

People are just doing whatever they like now, probably because the government have been so weak and vague (and totally hypocritical)

We are still keeping to ourselves, one of us goes shopping once a week with mask and gloves on, the rest of the time it's just me, DH and DD.

FIL lives alone about 2h away, he could come and stay with the new guidelines but before we'd had a chance to think about it he told us he didn't want to do it. His rationale is that it is not worth putting any of us at risk and he would rather facetime DD for a few more weeks rather than risk contagion. His mental health is good, and he is happy to wait.

theonlywayisapple · 15/06/2020 08:27

With all the protests last week, there probably thinking what’s the point. Let’s all meet up.

Aragog · 15/06/2020 08:27

I should also point out that the rest of the time we are pretty much following the rules. We are SDing. We haven't been to a big supermarket for months, since before lockdown. We are wfh bar going into work one afternoon a week. I'm in the vulnerable category so in the whole I'm being careful but at times we have used common sense to assess risk too.

whacks493 · 15/06/2020 08:29

Noticed lots of parties last night too, probably back to work parties.

ptumbi · 15/06/2020 08:29

It's absolutely mad, and that's why people are jsut making their own minds up (aka 'doing a Cummings')

My ds2 is here this weekend, he's been working from home (he and gf) since march, only going out for exercise and shopping. I've been working, (in a healthcare clinic, seeing up to 40 people a day, no PPE, but not closer than 1 mtr) so I'm probably more risk to him than he is to me (60yo) BUT - he is 24, she is 23. IF they get it, they are likely to have it mildly, and recover totally. Even my risk is calculated at 13% of even getting it, and only 3% of dying! So 97% Not Dying; I'll take that risk.

The infections round here are 0.2% of population - so in my town, about 24 people. That's 24 people who may GET IT, not die of it.

So WHY why why are we all so scared?

Choice4567 · 15/06/2020 08:30

@UncleShady yeah I don’t think you’ve understood the bubbles...

NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 15/06/2020 08:35

I haven't seen any evidence of any gatherings by me at all (since an idiot up the road threw a 16th birthday party at the front of the house weeks ago).

theendoftheworldasweknowit · 15/06/2020 08:38

I think the trouble is the new bubble rules are impossible to police, so everyone has decided to just follow their instincts.