To sit in the garden when the toddler is asleep in the house?

[BeatrixPottersAlterEgo]

DD is almost two, and has recently decided to (mostly) sleep well, hurray!

DH suggested, after her bedtime, that we sit on our garden bench for a little while, as it is a lovely evening.

I said no initially, but now I've thought about it, would it do any harm? We can see her ground floor bedroom window, it's less than 30 feet away from where we'd sit facing it. Her bedroom is right next to the back door and we have a monitor. Front door etc would obviously be locked.

It would probably take us no more than 10 seconds longer to reach her from the garden than if we were sitting in the living room. I know I'm probably being silly, but it's the thought of us being outside and her in!

I didn't need a baby monitor... because I didn't let DS out of my sight till he was about 18 months. I'm not exaggerating. He slept directly next to me until he was 2 (I used to go to bed with him at 7pm) and is still in with me now most nights.

how do people cope with day to day life if stuff like this makes them so anxious.

Some people don't, some people have medication and access to therapies and psychiatrists. I also have the real, diagnosed, occasionally medicated, CBTd GAD and it can be utterly exhausting.

Like OP I had it mostly under control, then I had DS was born and I was so, so frightened that he'd die in his sleep. He was also a bad sleeper, so you add a tendency towards anxiety into sleep deprivation. Perfect storm.

I'm mostly alright now, occasional "flare ups" but under control, like op, Covid set me right off initially.

OP, it is absolutely fine to sit in your garden and have a glass of wine, some dinner, a chat. Enjoy it.

Jesus Christ. Of course it's OK. In the nicest way possible, you need some therapy.

Enjoy your garden. I remember those feeling with my eldest and the sudden flashes of terrifying thoughts, thankfully it's been easier with my younger ones especially after CBT.

@ScissorsBike therapy is like £40 a session or over a years wait potentially on NHS. Lots of people would benefit from therapy.

Please don't say it in such a horrible way.

"OP that sounds really difficult, have you ever thought about therapy to help?"

Must be lovely to be so smug and not have severe anxiety. But shaming them into therapy on mn will absolutely help. Sure.

Good idea scissors, maybe this evening when I'm out in the garden, I'll see if any stray therapists have popped up in the flower bed

Penny yes, the most annoying thing is that I'm not naturally an anxious person, which sounds like bullshit given this thread, but I'm not a born worrier, I'm someone who toddles around having a normal life until a bloody anxiety monkey jumps on my back, and I know it's not real and it's not logical and all the rest, but that doesn't make it go away. It's so annoying, and I really resent it, because it genuinely isn't me or representative of who I am. Pisses me off and makes me doubt my abilities to judge risk.

As everyone else has said yes of course sit in the garden. We do it most evenings! The garden is attached to your house? Not across the street or something? If it’s attached to your house then the baby has not been left alone.

I could understand the tone of some of these replies if the op had said "everyone who does this is a shit head and smells like Boris Johnson's left insole" but she was asking for her and when questioned opened up about her anxious thoughts.

Also those urging her to get therapy she really would not meet the NHS criteria for therapy and even if she did the wait would be massive.

Mn should be a place parents can ask questions. OP has been polite and open in her replies. Really disappointed in the snarky tone so many have seen fit to use.

OP I just want to say that you sound like an excellent mum and an intelligent individual.
I completely understand your sentiments surrounding your anxiety as I feel the same way (oddly, mine are to do with work and how I am perceived rather than parenting though)
My brain is mental sometimes.

If you do see a stray therapist, can you send them over here when you’re done please??

I know what you mean Beatrix, I've always been "a worrier" about certain things but there is a real, stark, obvious contrast between worrying and then anxiety. In my experience anyway.

It's not rational and it affects the way I process risk too, so you're not alone. And it does get better.