To sit in the garden when the toddler is asleep in the house?

[BeatrixPottersAlterEgo]

DD is almost two, and has recently decided to (mostly) sleep well, hurray!

DH suggested, after her bedtime, that we sit on our garden bench for a little while, as it is a lovely evening.

I said no initially, but now I've thought about it, would it do any harm? We can see her ground floor bedroom window, it's less than 30 feet away from where we'd sit facing it. Her bedroom is right next to the back door and we have a monitor. Front door etc would obviously be locked.

It would probably take us no more than 10 seconds longer to reach her from the garden than if we were sitting in the living room. I know I'm probably being silly, but it's the thought of us being outside and her in!

You need to buy an outfit and some nice gin and tonic and new glasses and celebrate your new found freedom and have a date x

We did this tonight - even had dinner in the garden while our 4 year old and nearly 2 year old were asleep.

Dinner in the garden! A date! The decadence. I bloody shall at that 😊

Yes I would and do, as long as monitor reaches then all good

Are there people who don't sit in their gardens on lovely evening because they have sleeping children?

Surely that's not true, only on MINUTE

It’s absolutely fine! Please try to enjoy it.

And also I just wanted to say you sound like such a lovely mum to be so worried about it. I get that anxiety make us feel like everything we do is wrong, but you sound like you’re doing a great job

I voted YABU because you're going to work yourself into a frenzy if you can't leave your DD alone asleep for more than a few minutes. My DD has a video monitor, when her DS is in bed she has it on mute nearby so that if he stirs, the screen comes on and she can see him. It has a 100m range. If she wanted she could nip to the shop! (She doesn't though).

Welcome back to the adult world OP !
It does take some time to get used to your new normal but , as you say ,
baby steps and one day you will be at the bottom of the garden and suddenly realise how free you are.

I voted YABU -for precisely the same reasons as Soontob60

Ah no, not quite a frenzy, I don't roll about on the floor gnashing my teeth or anything like that. I'm just over cautious thanks to the nasty invasive thoughts that crop up from time to time. I think it's crept up without me noticing actually, I have a very good handle on the anxiety most of the time, then after DD was born up it popped again, then I got it nicely squished down by the end of maternity leave and I happily returned to work, then along came covid

CrowCat we have the same child. She slept fairly well from 12-6 so I felt like she wasn't a REALLY bad sleeper, but in the evenings she was up and down like a yoyo. I'd have rather had the evenings so I had a few hours to myself, and lost out on some of the 12-6 sleep, but she wouldn't agree

I even nip next door sometimes when mine are asleep and steal my neighbours gin!

This is some kind of joke?

I do this but because I'm hard of hearing I have an Alexa in toddlers room that I phone from my phone and have in speaker so can hear any noise.

Oh I hear you re the intrusive thoughts. It’s rotten. But don’t give in!

I hope you enjoyed it OP 😊🌞

Well, that's why you childproof the house to your own standards, including a lock on your front door that a young child cannot reach. Then you don't worry at all to leave them alone when you shower, when you pee!, when they are asleep and you hang the laundry or have diner in the garden, or when YOU are asleep.

One of the reasons I never had baby-gates in the stairs, so much more dangerous to have a child climb over and cascading down the stairs than teaching them to go up and down safely.

OP, if you have a monitor anyway, its' absolutely fine. The reverse of leaving your own sleeping baby in the garden whilst you are in the house would not have been fine, but you're good!

Posters being nasty obviously haven’t experienced anxiety in relation to being a parent.

Op I HEAR you. When Dd was born I was so anxious about SIDS I didn’t leave her side (or sleep) for 6 months. It’s only recently after she’s turned 3(!) I don’t have to pop upstairs every half an hour to check on her. Fluoxetine helped!

Enjoy your evening. And yay for kids that sleep through! Dd didn’t until she was around 2 either, I had literally no idea what to do with myself when she did

Is your name Kate? Wtf not funny.

Saveeno and LudaMusser, please feel free to fuck off if you're going to be so utterly tedious. Run along now.

TeddyIsAHe yes I had the SIDS too. I was better when she napped, until a well meaning relative told me a "SIDS at naptime" horror story, then that was that

Ignore them. Who would think it is appropriate to bring up a kidnapped 3 y.o on a thread for an anxious DM or to ever jeer about Madeleine's disappearance.

I do - during afternoon nap rather than of an evening (only as busy of an evening).

Sometimes I mow the grass (checking monitor at intervals as the mower is loud) or do some gardening too

Gosh, people are in a strange mood tonight. Odd responses. This seems like a perfectly normal question to ask, and what place more appropriate to ask it than Mumsnet

OP you sound lovely btw. Hugs to you for the anxiety