To sit in the garden when the toddler is asleep in the house?

[BeatrixPottersAlterEgo]

DD is almost two, and has recently decided to (mostly) sleep well, hurray!

DH suggested, after her bedtime, that we sit on our garden bench for a little while, as it is a lovely evening.

I said no initially, but now I've thought about it, would it do any harm? We can see her ground floor bedroom window, it's less than 30 feet away from where we'd sit facing it. Her bedroom is right next to the back door and we have a monitor. Front door etc would obviously be locked.

It would probably take us no more than 10 seconds longer to reach her from the garden than if we were sitting in the living room. I know I'm probably being silly, but it's the thought of us being outside and her in!

Beatrix, am so sorry that you should reply that way.

Read the OP again. We can all takes our cues.

Have you got a baby monitor?

This seems like a perfectly normal question to ask, and what place more appropriate to ask it than Mumsnet

It's not a normal question for most people. I can't believe OP still has a monitor let alone won't go outside. What do you do for daytime naps?!

Best not tell you my 6mo naps upstairs without a monitor and I go outside in the garden with my 3yo.

@Hercwasonaroll

In the nicest way possible, if you don’t have experience of living with anxiety then shut up.

People’s parenting experiences are different shocker! Op just wanted some support because she’s come out the other side, and still dealing with, anxiety that can be absolutely crippling. A question that is silly to you is the way someone else feels calm about their choices.

Thank you to all who have been lovely, I really appreciate it. I know perfectly well that fairly shortly I'll look back and wonder what I was so worried about, but at the minute I'm at the "horror movie which may actually come true at anu moment, featuring my family members, playing at hourly intervals behind my eyeballs" stage of anxiety.

Yes, I've a video monitor - I didn't actually think it was so bonkers to use one still. Most people I know seem to use one until the child is 3 or so. This made sense to me as I'd imagine you'd want to keep an occasional eye on a mobile but still bit daft toddler

Get outside and relax, it certainly sounds like you need to if you are worried about leaving a child feet away from you!

OP makes no mention of anxiety in the first post.

I think it's quite obvious the question is ridiculous. However if OP needs responses from internet randoms to justify her decisions then go ahead.

OP are you having treatment for your anxiety?

I've never had a video monitor. Lived in a tiny flat with number 1 and now have a sound monitor for night times. Only so much they can get up to in a cot to be honest. Once they're in a bed stair gates on the door if you don't trust them.

Just because you feel a certain way about it, does not make OP's question "ridiculous"

I never say this but this is the perfect place for the famous Mumsnet "did you mean to be so rude?" Because, honestly - it just was.

Here is a kinder way of responding - "yes, it's fine, I personally wouldn't be worried at all"

I hope you managed to have a nice time OP.

Because I was asking a question that I didn't feel needed an appendix detailing my history of GAD?

As I've explained, I was medicated years ago, but mostly had it very well under control until a flare up at DD's birth and a flare up now. I've a dodgy knee that clicks and is sore when I get up sometimes too, but other times I can go months without it bothering me at all, then lo, it clicks again! Anything else?

I’ve never had any kind of monitor and have 4 children

how do people cope with day to day life if stuff like this makes them so anxious.

Lol! Looking back when my children were younger I was more anxious than you seem to be and I've never been diagnosed. The video monitor gave me enough reassurance to get past it and get on with life, as you are trying to do. Enjoy your reclaimed evenings!

Alter ego tbh I think anxiety for small children like this is normal. It's a biologically process in which the part of your brain that worries expands when you are pregnant and stays like that forever. Mothers anxiety for their children literally keeps them alive. You imagine every worst case scenario that could happen and then remove any possibility of them happening. Especially when Madeline McCann has been in the news recently. I bought a video monitor for about £70 I think and to be honest it has been a god send. I can potter about and be able to see and hear where DC is. I would highly recommend. Enjoy the garden xxx

You've not been in your garden while the baby's asleep, for TWO YEARS?

Get out there. And no, you don't need to be able to see the door. You know where the door is by now!

Takes baby monitor to soothe your anxiety. Because of course you can sit out side girl yes!

Your garden is part of your home. Sitting on bench in garden in the warm evenings might relax you.

Ignore the unkind responses, OP. I don't suffer from anxiety and am a pretty confident type of person, but I also had moments of doubt as a parent to small children.

This is exactly what MN is for - all the parents feeling their way along, not quite knowing whether to trust their common sense. It's a shame people are choosing to be sneery.

@PumpkinP well that's the point isn't it? Quite often they don't and it's an incredibly debilitating mental illness. If MNers telling them to get a grip and ffsing at people helped then all psychiatrists would be furloughed.

@BeatrixPottersAlterEgo enjoy your garden break I'm so sorry you've had so many utter knobs on this thread especially after you've explained your anxiety.

Yes op, get outside and enjoy yourself. I'v never had a monitor but if you feel like you need one that is okay too. I had never suffered with any mental health disorders but after DD1 I became fixated on germs and very anxious about them. I suffered in silence so in the nicest possible way if you are feeling very anxious I'd seek help if you haven't already. It will open up a world of not second guessing yourself over the little things.

OP what you need is our babycam - as well as the monitor there's a mobile phone app. You can set that to alert your phone if there's a noise or motion. Then you can go to the back of the garden without the monitor and know that your phone will buzz if you need to know anything.

OP you are making me miss the days of evenings to myself! Enjoy it now cos before you know it they’ll be a teenager who stays up later then you do 😂

I feel bad for you that you haven’t been doing this already, OP

Yes, I've a video monitor - I didn't actually think it was so bonkers to use one still. Most people I know seem to use one until the child is 3 or so. This made sense to me as I'd imagine you'd want to keep an occasional eye on a mobile but still bit daft toddler

OP, we still use the video monitor for DS and he is three in a few months. It’s just still installed on the wall in the bedroom and the monitor is right there so why wouldn’t we still use it
And I don’t consider myself to be particularly anxious about these things!

Every other mother of a toddler has been lounging out in a hammock with a gin every night from 7pm since April, haven't they

Pretty much😂 I’ve got no qualms about sitting in the garden when 16 month old DS is sleeping.

The people invoking the McCann situation in response to this question really, really need to get to fuck.