To not let a TV in the room until 16?

[Snagscardies]

Is it that bad? I haven't allowed phones upstairs at all and have not had any problems. My 21 year old still leaves his phone downstairs although I've always said the moment they pay rent there are no rules just consideration for a house share. My 14 year old would like a telly. We have a teen only snug is it unreasonable to say no to the room telly?

I do so much more in my bedroom than sleep.

I would say it’s unusual for a 21 year old to leave their phone downstairs at night.

I find it very difficult to sleep without watching TV first, even when I lived in a flat and only had 1 TV in my living room next to my bedroom, I found it very, very difficult to fall asleep in complete silence. I always have. We have them in the living room, our bedroom and the spare room. No DC though. It’s much easier than listening to arguments when everyone wants to watch something different (according to my mum!).

[quote Iwantacookie]@abbccc because children can be cruel and might pick on the child if they are different. [/quote]
Yes, but they need to learn to stand up for themselves and not mind/care that they are different. We can't all be/ have the same! Bullies need to be dealt with.

My kids both have sky mini boxes in their rooms. But don't use them while they are doing school work. Husband likes to watch car programmes and I read so they can watch what they like in the evenings.

My son has 3 in his room. I'll just wait while you all faint...

Well OP, if you already have a snug for teens to watch tv in then I don’t suppose there is a real need for tv in bedrooms. Isn’t a hill I would choose to die on though: I had a tv in my bedroom from age 13 and was Dux at my school, so it really didn’t do me any harm. But, If there’s a teens sitting area then no need for the tv in bedroom too

Why do you not allow your adult children to take their phone upstairs until they start paying rent? (I know you said your 21 year old does now pay rent) but what is that correlation? I just find that incredibly controlling. I was still in school at 18 so obviously still lived at home. But I was an adult so whilst I had some rules, leaving my phone downstairs was not one of them.

Also i can't believe how naive some posters are here thinking 21 year olds don't watch porn.

Does 21 year old not need an alarm to get up? Or does he use an old fashioned alarm? Asking out of nosiness, because I couldn't be arsed with an old fashioned alarm and need my insanely loud obnoxious phone alarm to startle me awake!

@theonlywayisapple

My son has 3 in his room. I'll just wait while you all faint...

DS2 has a gaming monitor, a TV, a laptop and his phone in his room.

I don’t see the problem. If you’re firm with a switch off time then it’s nice for them to choose what they watch without having to compromise with others. As a young teen I would take myself off to to bed early to watch a couple of episodes of something or to have an hour of gaming before bed. If I had to share with my younger brother all the time I think we would have killed each other.

My kids never had TV in their rooms and when they were growing up we only let them watch TV on Saturday night. They also didn't have computers until they were 14 and cell phones at 13. They groaned and called us the "Amish parents," but now they brag about their pathetically deprived upbringing.

Your child your choice but if all their friends have one would you want them to be the odd one out?

Who cares if your child is the odd one out when you are doing the right thing? It's a big world out there. At worst, it means your chid is mixing with the wrong crowd and needs new friends.

Parenting means having to re-evaluating yourself constantly and be flexible, but it doesn't mean you have to give in because of peer pressure.

I have a "no tv in bedrooms" house. When my kids have their own place, they'll make their own rules.

My son has 3 in his room. I'll just wait while you all faint...

it's not the number that I find weird personally, but the fact that you have to feel proud and superior about it.

My teens are 19 and 16. Never had TVs in their rooms, but we don’t either, my 19 year old has a screen for his computer in his now, but still doesn’t have a tv. If they wanted a tv in their rooms now, that would be fine, but they’ve never asked.

We only have one tv in the house and no electronics upstairs. Nobody seems to have died yet.
Do what you think is best.

So glad the 21 year old issues were sorted out ! I was rivetingly distracted by them until op update !

Not only Netflix via laptop but pretty much everything iplayer and catch up and sky go and you tube - everything available without a cathode ray tube (was that a thing? Obvs isn’t now !).

I wasn't allowed until I'd finished school at 16.

It didn't hurt me.

My kids have had TVs in their rooms since they were about 3. The also have computers, iPads and phones now they’re older. They’re good kids. We’ve always been pretty relaxed and don’t have rules for the sake of rules which I consider no TVs in the bedroom to be. I may think differently if we’d had problems but we have 2 ridiculously easy kids.

Your child your choice but if all their friends have one would you want them to be the odd one out? yes.

Sorry but that’s such a ridiculous argument and is partly why some children grow up with no ability to deal with conflict and a complete sense of entitlement. Where do you draw that line? My then twelve year old came home one day and told me how unreasonable I was being because all his friends had eighteen rated games and I wouldn’t let him have them. Should I have let him have them just in case he was picked on for not having them?

If children are being picked on because of what they’re not allowed that is down to the bullies, not the children or the parents for not allowing them televisions or eighteen rated games or mobile phones at the age of seven.

As for making a 21 year old leave his phone downstairs, words fail. All I can say is, I would expect him to go NC at some point in the future when he gets out into the real world and realises just how controlling that is.

I grew up in South Africa and there you had to have a tv licence for every television you owned. And you had to provide a licence as proof before you were allowed to buy the television, so children having TV’s in bedrooms was practically unheard of.

When I came home one of my aunts had seven televisions. one in the lounge, one in the kitchen, one in all her four kids’ bedrooms and one in her bedroom.

I do have a television in my room partly because i have a serious illness, and when I was particularly ill I used to have to go to bed early through exhaustion or I would end up sleeping on the couch. So my parents bought me the tv so I could go to bed and watch tv and then if I fell asleep it didn’t matter.

and don’t have rules for the sake of rules which I consider no TVs in the bedroom to be.

or you could just disagree because you have a different view... It's telling that people cannot have an opinion without needing to judge others who do differently. Do you feel judged or something?

My dc are 12 and 14 and neither have tv's in their rooms.
They do have a room of their own downstairs with a tv though. Ds is in there a lot on his games consoles and dd prefers to chat to her friends on FaceTime in her room (when not doing schoolwork).
Phones must be off at bed time though and if not, they go.

As soon as me and exh separated, I got rid of the tv from my bedroom too as I hated it.

or you could just disagree because you have a different view... It's telling that people cannot have an opinion without needing to judge others who do differently. Do you feel judged or something?

What? Do you usually have comprehension problems? I clearly said ‘I consider’, as in my opinion. Other people can do what they consider to be right. 🤷🏻‍♀️
And no I don’t feel judged. I just do what works for us, as everyone else should.

I had a tv in my room from been about 5/6 I used to watch videos in the morning instead of waking my parents. Then as I git older it was DVDs and then at about 13/14 they got me sky multi room. I thought this was the norm. Everyone I know has TVs in their bedrooms, my DC are both under 3 and I’ve thought about letting them have one. They like the watch films when they go to sleep and there’s only so much toy story the iPad can take.