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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone regretting not learning to drive?

102 replies

Doingtheboxerbeat · 14/06/2020 18:10

I have never ever had a problem with not driving due to living in cities with excellent transport links and being an avid cyclist but I am really regretting it now since lock down.
I finally got around to getting my provisional licence back in March then I lost my job due to covid-19.
I live alone and really want to go to the beach or anywhere that is too far away to cycle but I can't justify using public transport for this can I? And I can't really expect another household to take me.
I'm just bored shitless - anyone else?

OP posts:
Starbuggy · 14/06/2020 22:05

Yes definitely!

I couldn’t afford lessons, and even if I’d scrimped and saved for lessons, I couldn’t afford to buy and run a car, so never bothered. I’ve always made sure I live somewhere I can get to work and other stuff I want and need by public transport. I get groceries and everything else delivered. If I occasionally need to get somewhere that I can’t use public transport for I pay for a taxi. I work in a city centre where traffic is bad and parking expensive so unlikely I’d drive to work regularly even if I could.

But now with the prospect of not going further than I can walk for the foreseeable future... yes I regret it.

I also regret not having a garden, despite never in my adult life wanting one because it’s too much work.

vanillandhoney · 14/06/2020 22:07

I am so so glad I have my car at the moment. I only passed a couple of years ago aged 28 and it's a huge relief to have my own mode of transport right now.

Get on with studying for your theory - you can get the official DVLA app for smartphones which I found really useful as you can practise whenever you want.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 14/06/2020 22:08

Nope. I've not used public transport since lockdown but I'm planning on taking DS on a day out using the train soon. It's allowed and we will wear masks.

crystal1983 · 14/06/2020 22:12

I’m in a similar boat to you OP, I don’t drive & due to a disability I can’t cycle. Yesterday was the first time I took public transport for the purpose of an afternoon out (had used the bus back from the supermarket before) and it was fine. The advice is very much “if you have no other way to travel” and now they’re opening up shops and encouraging us to spend money it seems like it’s an acceptable thing to do. Was nice to go further afield after 3 months of being in walking distance from my flat.

WorriedAboutMom · 14/06/2020 22:51

@Ilikeanimalsmorethanpeople my last fail was on an automatic lol🙈. However, the examiner did say I drove perfectly once I realised I had failed so thought it might be an anxiety thing. I've been told to try Rescue Remedy next time. Don't think driving instructors are doing lessons at the moment unless you are a key worker however 🤔.

FedUpofLockdown123 · 14/06/2020 23:03

I passed first fourth time a month before lock down and as a loan parent I have never been more grateful to pass when I did. I got a car just a couple of weeks before lockdown and I would have really struggled without it as I relied on my parents to drive me places, for shopping etc which wouldn't have been possible now.

I was a terrible learner took me 19 months and 4 tests. No confidence at all I had a thread on here about being scared to go out in my new car but now I couldn't be without it.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 14/06/2020 23:04

I regretted not learning to drive - I was early 30s with four kids and stuck in the house all the time. So I got my licence. Now I regret getting it - I'm a complete muppet and don't have the confidence to drive off the estate. (Perfectly good driver I hasten to add, just too anxious to go anywhere). Massive waste of money, time, and energy, and a constant source of guilt.

EmeraldShamrock · 14/06/2020 23:10

@BabyDubsEverywhere You deserve to do it properly you've done the hard part learning, can you have some counselling. I know the anxiety is severe i watched the sweetman's help an anxious driver. Even try YouTube for anxiety tips.
I love to be where you are now having the balls to learn I wouldn't even know how to start a car.

Ilikeanimalsmorethanpeople · 14/06/2020 23:28

@WorriedAboutMom I did the rescue remedy the last time, I took so much of it I stank and took gum to cover it up! I also snapped at the examiner and told him that if I have messed up the parallel park that I never actually intended to ever parallel park when I had a license (I now do it all the time). Then he passed me and I told him I loved him Blush

Crimeismymiddlename · 14/06/2020 23:30

I have started learning at thirty eight. I can’t get promoted unless I drive. It’s only recently I have regretted it, as I get older things are such a pest of public transport driving would make my life easier.

Ilikeanimalsmorethanpeople · 14/06/2020 23:30

@BabyDubsEverywhere have you tried rescue remedy...I now realise I sound like a sales woman but I cannot reccomend it enough I took it for the first few weeks after I passed my test and I used to plan my route ahead in my head even for short distances as it helped tick another box in my head so to speak!

amusedbush · 14/06/2020 23:47

I took lessons on and off for seven years before I passed third time in an automatic when I was 25, but I didn’t get a car until last year, when I was 29.

I’ve been driving pretty much every day for 15 months and my confidence has shot up, even driving two hours on the motorway in horrendous rain by myself Shock

I live in a city so I never thought I’d care that much about having a car but I love the freedom it gives.

Charlieandthechocolatecake · 14/06/2020 23:52

I regret it, massively. I'm early 30's. I practiced in my early 20's and stopped because I would never have been able to drive to work even if I did pass. I'm now older and wiser and as soon as driving schools open up, I'm getting on with it x

Ted27 · 15/06/2020 00:02

@MeadowHay

can I ask who do you think is going to abuse you on public transport and why?
I don't drive, I've started to use the bus again to go further afield, its fine. We are going on a longer train journey next week to see our family. I'm not expecting any problems

PumpkinP · 15/06/2020 00:13

Tbf I’ve come across nasty abusive people on the bus like the man who shouted at my crying baby to shut up, so yes it does happen!

BabyDubsEverywhere · 15/06/2020 00:14

I have tried rescue remedy, used it to get through the tests (there were a few!) I failed one of my driving tests for having to pull over (safely!) so I could throw up... I'm a lost cause Blush Everyone said it would give me so much freedom, so I pushed on, but it didn't work out that way for me. I think I'm an anomaly, though. I don't know anyone else who regrets getting their licence so please don't anyone take me as an example!

Peterbishopssarcasticsmile · 15/06/2020 00:16

Yep me. Am mid thirties failed twice in my teens and moved to London where I never needed a car.
Now I am furious with myself for not doing it sooner and am determined to start up again as soon as I can

squeekums · 15/06/2020 00:19

Nope, no regrets.
For me its a safety issue, i know im just not able to get on top of my anxiety and flashbacks of an accident where i was almsot killed at 16.

I dont want me killing someone on my conscience

Tiktokgone · 15/06/2020 00:20

I don't drive.

DH doesn't drive.

My kids have never been in a driving home.

At times it's been awful

blueshoes · 15/06/2020 00:42

PumpkinP, why won't you wear a face covering to allow you to take public transport?

PumpkinP · 15/06/2020 00:48

I just don’t want to wear one so I won’t be going anywhere that they are mandatory. I also have children and won’t be making them wear one so I will just stay in.

Ted27 · 15/06/2020 00:52

@Pumpkinp

being shouted at by a twit about your bsby crying could happen anywhere.
I'm not too chuffed about hsving to wear a face mask but its a small price to pay.

PumpkinP · 15/06/2020 00:56

Thats true but more likely to happen in an enclosed space. It must be my area but I come across a lot of rude/aggressive people on public transport.

Tinkerbell456 · 15/06/2020 01:06

I have always lived in very small towns or right in the country, so I learnt to drive as soon as I could. I would be completely stuffed if I couldn’t. If you live in a city with great public transport options, you can, obviously, get by without driving. Much cheaper than running a car too. Still a handy skill to have up,your sleeve though, I reckon, if you can.

AdalindMeisner · 15/06/2020 01:16

I feel for you, right about now with no car isn't great.

I passed my test a year ago (week before my 40th), bought a second hand car, some nobhead ran into me just before lockdown and the I insurance payout wasnt enough to find a vehicle, at least locally that I cam drive (automatic), although now it looks like we are not going to be able to afford to run a car anyway. So we are stuck in a built up area and unable to venture very far as it would require public transport 😭 (and school when it resumes is a 4 mile walk for a yr 1 with very little energy- it just gets better and better).

Oh god, that turned into a bit of a moan- sorry!