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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Anyone regretting not learning to drive?

102 replies

Doingtheboxerbeat · 14/06/2020 18:10

I have never ever had a problem with not driving due to living in cities with excellent transport links and being an avid cyclist but I am really regretting it now since lock down.
I finally got around to getting my provisional licence back in March then I lost my job due to covid-19.
I live alone and really want to go to the beach or anywhere that is too far away to cycle but I can't justify using public transport for this can I? And I can't really expect another household to take me.
I'm just bored shitless - anyone else?

OP posts:

Littlepond · 14/06/2020 19:01

I don’t drive and it’s awful. 3 kids and I can’t take them anywhere or do anything. I’ve never been bothered about having a car, we've always been fine on public transport and taxis And occasionally my mum will
Drive us for a day out with her.
I’m dreading the summer holidays as we won’t be able to do anything even if stuff is open to do. I’ve tried learning to drive and I can’t do it. I’ve had lessons, so many lessons and I just can’t. And now I hate myself for being so useless because my kids are missing out big time. I’ve never felt that before.

Cam2020 · 14/06/2020 19:05

@Doingtheboxerbeat thank you

Alicenwonderland · 14/06/2020 19:06

I passed my test last year at 41. I'm so glad I did as it would've been virtually impossible being a single Mum to four in lockdown, it's never too late, if I can do it anyone can.

NamechangeOnceMore · 14/06/2020 19:10

I didn't pass my test until my mid-20s because I went to uni in a big city, then moved to London for a few years aged 21. Finally got my licence a year after leaving London. I did then live in a big city for another few years, but now live in a market town with poor public transport and am glad of my car. Driving is only an essential life skill if you don't have access to fast regular, reliable public transport.

MrsM36 · 14/06/2020 19:14

@Simonfromharlow

I only passed my driving test last year at 35. Id never felt I needed to drive until I split up with my husband. Then I realised how isolated and stuck I felt. So I booked some lessons. I love being able to drive now. I never regretted until I'd passed and knew what I was missing if that makes sense?

I agree with this completely... I passed my test 3 years ago at the age of 35. I never regretted not being able to drive until I passed my test and realised how much easier it makes life... especially with 3 children of varying ages (15, 11 & 20mths).

ArriettyJones · 14/06/2020 19:26

The Hazard Perception part of theory, in particular, takes practice. It makes sense to get on with that while you have time but not cash. Once you’ve actually passed your theory test, it’s valid for two years, so no reason not to sit it as soon as the test centres reopen. The expensive part is practical lessons.

DieSchottin93 · 14/06/2020 19:27

This is why I stuck at learning to drive even though I hated it, and still hate driving now I live semi rurally and the public transport here is crap. At the moment (well, pre-lockdown anyway) I just drive to and from work but it's nice to know I'd have the option to have that flexibility once I get better at managing my driving anxiety

MouthBreathingRage · 14/06/2020 19:32

I started lessons in my early twenties, but had to suddenly give them up due a personal fucktastrophy. Took 10 years to be able to afford them again, worked really hard, booked my test and was told I was very likely to pass first time around. Cancelled a couple of days before it happened due to lockdown.

The real kicker? It's been rebooked for the 6th of next month. My driving instructor has told me lessons will restart... on the 6th. I feel destiny is telling me it won't ever bloody happen .

Springisintheair2 · 14/06/2020 19:34

Was having driving lessons, almost done, before lockdown :( it's been horrible.

Gettingthereslowly2020 · 14/06/2020 19:39

Yes! It's awful. I failed my test twice a few years ago and gave up to save for a house deposit instead. I wish I'd just persevered and then bought a cheap car because it doesn't look like I'll ever e able to afford to buy a house anyway. I'll be restarting my driving lessons as soon as it's safe to do so.

I'm a single parent so we're stuck indoors apart from to visit our one local park and a supermarket which are both within walking distance. I'm bloody sick of going on the same walks over and over again.

I'd love to book tickets to the zoo but we'd have to get on a bus, a train and then another bus just to get there so that obviously isn't appropriate right now.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 14/06/2020 20:11

OK a pal who almost took her test but didn't over a period of 20 years .

I thought she may be spurred into taking her test when her son was run over (OK luckily) or when her daughter made a serious suicide attempt 100 miles away...

Nope

PumpkinP · 14/06/2020 20:14

Yep majorly regret it now. I live in London though so public transport was always good so never needed to. Now with Covid and face masks now being compulsory on public transport I won’t be using it anymore as I’m not going to wear one so now I’m pretty stuck! I’m jealous of people that drive now.

OneForMeToo · 14/06/2020 20:23

Not yet nope. I don’t want to drive my children hours away to a rammed beach while dh is at work, or frankly anywhere. I’ll let the drivers pack like sardines in the beauty spots while the local fields are then empty. Also just don’t need two cars anyway so even if I could drive we would only have one for dh for work.

MeadowHay · 14/06/2020 20:29

I started lessons in January and was doing loads and loads of lessons so was hoping to pass my test by late summer which obviously won't happen now. I'm autistic and have an anxiety disorder and I'm tyeing with another of my instructor's autistic students as his slowest ever learners. But I was making slow progress so he is confident I will be able to learn and pass the test eventually. I was so motivated and I've already spent so much money on lessons and it's so upsetting that I will have to have way more lessons now to rebuild all the confidence and stuff I learnt all over again when until a few months ago as a family we were on a very low income and we are trying to save for a deposit for a house now etc. DH does drive but we couldn't afford to have a car before he started his new job and now we could afford one but not to also save for a deposit so we are prioritising that. But it is so crap knowing my friends are going to be taking their toddlers to the zoo and safari park and they are already going to tons of different parks and beaches etc and we are stuck with our four local parks and my DD is getting so bored. I feel like we have left her down tbh.

Tumbleweed101 · 14/06/2020 20:30

I passed at 17 but didn’t have a car til I was about 26 and moved to a rural location. My children grew up here and consider it an essential skill due to limited public transport options

EmeraldShamrock · 14/06/2020 20:33

Yes all the time though I find it difficult to push DS's big buggy with out crashing into curbs. I still have to consciously check my left and right it doesn't come natural my coordination is horrendous. DD has severe dyspraxia it must have come from me.
I don't think you're ever to old to learn if your physically capable.

Mamanchien · 14/06/2020 20:55

I got my licence at the age of 40. It was a massive pain in the arse but I stuck at it and am so glad I did.

mylittlesandwich · 14/06/2020 20:57

I passed less than 2 years ago, DH is older than me and still can't drive. It's really annoying him now. I think now that I can drive he sees that it's much easier and it's bugging him. He has plans to learn.

TheThingWithFeathers · 14/06/2020 21:04

I passed my test when I was 17, but I stopped driving when I left home to go to university. Lived in cities since then so have never needed to drive but now I really want to. I'm 41 and I am going to need to start learning all over again, I think. So once you've learned, keep it up!

cologne4711 · 14/06/2020 21:13

If you can't or don't drive, you can use public transport. I would use it even though I can drive if I felt it was more convenient and it is certainly safer for longer journeys. I am far more likely to die or be horribly injured in a road accident than I am of covid.

WorriedAboutMom · 14/06/2020 21:22

Yes. Every day. Failed 8 times though so I did try .

MeadowHay · 14/06/2020 21:22

Cologne, I'm worried about abuse from people on public transport I also am anxious about tolerating a face covering for various medical reasons. I'm also anxious DD would freak out if me /DH were wearing face coverings and just scream and cry the whole journey, making us more likely to face abuse from other passengers. I'm also worried about going somewhere and getting stranded for ages if the buses refuse to let more people on...etc.

roxfox · 14/06/2020 21:45

I regret it SO SO much. Neither me nor DH drive and we don't live anywhere near our families. It's awful not being able to get anywhere. Big big mistake not taking our tests but we've never had a need for a car before now.

We just had our first child and were planning to sort it out but, alas, too late!

Notso · 14/06/2020 21:58

My life is based around me not driving so no not really.
My only reasons to learn are for other people. I see friends with older parents ferrying them around and friends who are grandparents having to pick up grandchildren from various destinations and think that I'd better learn.

Ilikeanimalsmorethanpeople · 14/06/2020 22:04

@WorriedAboutMom been there it took me about 7 goes to pass! I did pass eventually on a manual but the nerves got to me every time. Have you thought about trying in an automatic? x

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