Feel like the country is opening back up but not for people with young kids

[Bookworm36]

I am feeling so so isolated. I had been feeling pretty good until last week. I don't know what happened but a huge wave of sadness just hit me and now I'm waking up each morning feeling miserable.
Im a sahm mum, so in that respect very lucky that I'm not having to juggle work etc. But my life is just completely empty!!
Me and my children have done every activity, game, walk etc that we can think of and we are now all bored out of our minds. I have not spent a single minute alone since 23rd march.
As of tomorrow all shops, town centres etc are opening up. My parents are so happy, theyve been to lovely villages in the countryside, to ironbrige, and are now going to go to Chester, Shrewsbury, Manchester for a lovely day out.
But for me I still feel trapped!! I don't think that taking young kids to these places is a good idea, so we are still just going to be stuck with at home, with bad weather at the moment too
I didn't really have much of a social life before all this, but the problem has been magnified by lockdown. I'm seeing other people having fun nights with family and friends on zoom etc. We have none of that. When this is over I am going to make some positive changes and I'm trying to focus on that but anyone else feeling really isolated?

@TheMurk

In my area, people have volunteered to provide additional hand washing issues and anti bacterial wipes etc to help keep the playgrounds safer. People do want to help.

Public transport isn’t restricted to adults but the maximum numbers means it is basically impossible to use if you are obliged to travel in a group. There are no occasions where there are fewer than 7 people on a bus already and / or there is at least one other person at the bus stop.

To be honest my main concern is that once council run services have been shut for many months, they will never re-open. That’s not something that particularly affects people with young children, it will affect many many people, disproportionately less well-off.

YANBU
I’m no conspiracy theorist, but this is beginning to feel like some kind of government vendetta against kids, young people and those who care for them. It’s all so disproportionate and short sighted - the refusal to open up schools or any facilities for children will have massive fallout in terms of a generation’s future well-being.

Almost every single family I know with young children or teens is at breaking point now, even those who on social media seem to be living up to the baking/crafting/gardening stereotype. And I live in a pretty privileged middle class bubble - I can only imagine what’s going on elsewhere. There’s an awful lot of stuff going on behind closed doors that will only become evident a long way down the line - but because it’s less visible than Covid deaths no one will care.

Agree @TempsPerdu

The council run amenities remaining closed absolutely is huge concern, especially for more vulnerable people and families.
I know they’ll have to be restricted in numbers but I’d hope they can open shortly.
I do wonder how financially viable they’d be if they had to restrict numbers though. If, for example, the low cost playgroup has to restrict numbers, they may have to raise admission price (to cover hall hire) which will count many people out and severs their support network. :(

YANBU. My youngest went back to his CM two weeks ago, thank god, and we've been able to have playdates in the garden with a few people. I expected it to help but somehow it's made me feel so much worse this past week or so. I don't know what it is - perhaps the lure, the imagination, or normality, when really there's none to be had. It's just working and home schooling and going for yet another fucking walk.

My kids are good kids, I really can't complain about them but I can see that even my 8yo is becoming soul crushingly bored now. We we're never really ones for shopping or theme parks and all that but they're desperately, desperately missing what was our normal - the playground and the skate park, the water park in the summer, the library, having friends over regularly. All things that we can't do right now.

I know it's so shit for everyone at the moment and the grass easily seems greener, but I'm so low about it right now. I agree, I feel like children have just been thrown under a bus right now, and with them many parents, for many different reasons.

What does a play park add to the economic recovery? Nothing. So they won't think about it, and it'll come so far down the list of their priorities.

I am a goody two shoes. I mean, I really am a proper little law abiding A grade good girl. And on 1st July I am taking my children to the local playgrounds if they are not open. I may well buy a bolt cutter.
Because this is NOT FAIR. This weekend, we have discussed taking the kids to a country park about 30 mins away. Then we realised that it would be cruel, given that all the facilities designed for fun (remember that, anyone?) would be fenced off.
And I do LOVE the way that previous posters were bleating about theme parks and zoos and crazy golf. Who the hell has the money for those?! We are just longing for the simple pleasures of a playground, a local library and a dip in the local pool. The affordable stuff for normal families, who seem to be utterly invisible in the eye of this shit storm.

So many of us thinking the same thoughts (even as I was typing) and although I am sorry for you all, it does make me feel better that we are not alone 💐

the effect on public services is ‘disaster capitalism’ in action... perfect time to withdraw public services while everyone is too busy reeling from whatever catastrophe has happened... and then gradually re-introduce as “paid for” versions...

look at what happened to the school system in New Orleans in the wake of Katrina...

” And I do LOVE the way that previous posters were bleating about theme parks and zoos and crazy golf. Who the hell has the money for those?! We are just longing for the simple pleasures of a playground, a local library and a dip in the local pool. The affordable stuff for normal families, who seem to be utterly invisible in the eye of this shit storm.”

many people can afford zoos and theme parks given they sold out very quickly.

I do get it, we are not the sort of family who can afford a day trip to the zoo unless we’ve planned and for a very special occasion but it’s only tomorrow they’re opening. You cannot please anyone on MN! There were about opening zoos, and then they did that, now people commenting on prices!
I think the government have made a right fucking hash of this situation and I’d rather walk down the street naked on a bicycle than vote for them. I think more family friendly things will open and it needs to be now but some people have taken this very, very personally. Very few people are enjoying lockdown and benefiting from it.

It’s shit for many lower income families and I know I am privileged to be able to afford what I do. I’m not flippantly saying to go Alton Towers when I know it’s not in my budget, I think people need to think a bit more sensibly.

It’s a complete nightmare.
Tomorrow when the shops open my 3 teens who have no school until September, will be desperate to meet friends for daily shopping/ coffee/ entertainment. Having them at home for so long has been bloody expensive (I’m self employed in a badly affected industry, and home due to childcare anyway) and now we have one (in their eyes) gigantic summer holiday stretched out before us. Everywhere I look locally there are kids taking dangerous risks, cycling badly on main roads, swimming in rivers, etc etc .
It’s just terrible for young people.
Mine have been out and about exercising daily, done everything possible within the socially distant rules etc etc, but it’s just getting fucking ridiculous now.

I've felt really frustrated with seeing playgrounds taped off and locked up all through lockdown. I'm on the border of 3 London boroughs, and in one of them, they have council staff in hi viz jackets paid to sit in the playground to stop kids from climbing over to play in there. In other parks, they are full of burly men doing pull ups on the climbing frames - no parks staff stopping them, but none of the children are playing in there. I know many of the playgrounds around here are being used anyway, although I feel too self conscious to do it myself. I'd feel worried about being told off by the council, or by a member of the public (because they were threatening to close the entire park if people wouldn't stay out of the playgrounds).

I've been quite lucky with DD, as we've been going to parks and gardens every single day during lockdown. Haven't got bored yet as I've been going to different ones every day, and walking further and further out to find somewhere new. I thought she would get upset at all the closed playgrounds, but now she just says 'playground is shut' and just accepts it (she's 2), and toddles off to chase a squirrel or collect sticks instead. And I've filled my living room with a slide, sandpit and rocking toy (no garden). I've been in touch with a local nursery to get her a place over the summer. She's already due to start at a different nursery in September, but I figured this was the only way to allow her some social contact and play opportunities outside the home in the next couple of months. I'm a sahm and don't need the childcare (actually I will really miss her and would rather be doing stay and play type activities together), but she needs the play and interaction opportunities. It will cost loads, but we're getting a big chunk of it subsidised.

As I said my children are older and haven't complained about not being able to go out or back to school but they are really bored. The one thing they really want (and so do I) is to go swimming. I feel so bad that it's the only thing they really want (and to be able to hug their grandparents) but can't have.
Swimming lessons are hopefully resuming in September but don't know about public swimming. Don't even know about lessons as they're hinting lessons will be shorter but cost more.

It's so so depressing, reading these comments I feel the same.
Same walks to the same few parks and gardens and woods, we're lucky to be within walking distance to 4 or 5 green spaces but by now it's getting really fucking boring.
4 year old DS enjoys climbing trees and logs and is doing his best with imaginative play, but god I miss the playground + cafe days out with him so much I could cry.
Before we would take the train into London, visit a museum, go to softplay with a friend, local library, preschooler dance class, have a day out on the Thames ferry or cable car. None of these are possible.
I would so much like to do our normal family walks along the South Bank but the prospect of even riding the train is filling me with dread.

The children haven't complained because they've been educated not too, the whole narrative for months has been stay in to stay "safe", of course they're not going to say anything against that narrative, even if they've had it explained that they personally are at no risk [*], they understand that they're protecting others.

They're resigned and accepting - they won't advocate for themselves, they can't simply break the rules as they need adults - and the activities they want to do are simply not open - their sports/social clubs/activities, their schools, playing on the park play equipment etc.

I don't even get this "the zoos will open soon", even if I wanted to visit one to see the caged up animals, the nearest one is would cost over 200 quid to visit (maybe less if we ignore the request to not use public transport), it's hardly something accessible to the majority, and it's a one off, what would you do the next day? Oh another 200 quid on legoland?

The things kids really need is peer interaction, a Zoo doesn't give that.

[*] obviously actually not no risk, but still at lower risk of covid than that many other things that doesn't stop them doing anything.

If it helps, my country is pretty open now, but it's not open to me, because of immuno-compromised issues in the family I don't have young children anymore, but I can use my experience to empathise with yours. I won't be doing anything other than work and small family visits until there's a vaccine, or family member gets a transplant.

So remember you're not on your own with your feelings of things opening up not being for you.

@Haenow, apologies for sounding rude. I think it’s just the fact that people on here are talking about the reality of their situations at the moment and sometimes it sounds a bit dismissive to say “oh but you can do this and that” when there are restrictions on numbers and new places open make it pretty much impossible to accommodate children.
Also re things like going to a shop , of course it’s not a leisure activity but to find yourself in a situation where you need milk or sanpro and you literally can’t go to a shop because you have more than one child, that is something else and not everyone is experiencing that situation at all.
It’s one thing to need a hug but another not to be able to go into places because you have children or not be able to work because there absolutely no childcare available or school. These things would usually seem as necessities but you have kids so 👋
And I fully agree with a pp that we don’t see or know the half of it. I’m in a very fortunate position of living in a beautiful place, I can go to playgrounds again (btw this has made a huge difference for those who think it’s no big deal, my dcs now ask everyday to go to one and were overjoyed when they got in! ) , I have a car and when my dh is not out working I can then go out and get things. I can’t even imagine how life must be like for some children now, it’s no small issue and it absolutely feels like the powers that be don’t give a shit...

Yes also starting to really feel the drag. It's worse now as there's the hope/ possibility/ option of doing more, but actually we're not as it just seems too much hard work/ logistics. for example, dc are too young to socially distance, cant even get on the website for chester zoo never mind get fucking tickets, all nat trust places are sold out, beach is too far away/ no toilets/ dh thinks we shouldnt so wont come with us. My birthday was last week - ok it wasnt awful, no one in hospital with covid, should be grateful etc, but i was sooo bored just doing another walk with the kids. I'm coming of fb as boasting about what you're doing is making me feel so pissed off...

As in, other people boasting on fb

Two words, grey vote.

Yes me too.

Pictures on my local FB of packed tables outside a local pub that is doing takeaways and people are just sitting outside on the benches. That's all fine, good for the town etc but God forbid you want to take your five year old to Sainsbury's or go back to school.

Primark and pubs are all more important than the kids. I'm sick of it

Leading child and adolescent psychologists have written an open letter to Gavin Williamson, addressing everything pp have been saying so far:

drive.google.com/file/d/1zytNGOtnySo-YnyU7iazJUVQ0fS2PC1Z/view

They talk about the importance of play for children’s social and emotional development. Sadly, if it doesn’t involve money being spent, the government doesn’t seem to give a shit.

I've made a petition to reopen the park. I used a lot of really brilliant points made by PP on this thread and one I started last week as i'd never be able to word it so articulately myself.

Ive also emailed my MP

www.change.org/reopenplaygrounds

it really feels like the nation's children and working age adults have been thrown under the bus to support the elderly yet again.

Wow @snappycamper that's a horrible thing to say. There a thousands of thousands of people who are vulnerable who are not elderly, do you view them the same or is it just old people you appear to think are disposable? It really fucking worries me that people think like this.

I don't think anyone is finding this easy but FFS.

Yes, it's miserable. My dp doesn't get it at all and he says I'd be on maternity leave either way, so it's not that different. He doesn't seem to have a clue how much I would normally be doing with the kids.

He is wfh half the week and seems to feel like it's just an extended holiday.