Feel like the country is opening back up but not for people with young kids

[Bookworm36]

I am feeling so so isolated. I had been feeling pretty good until last week. I don't know what happened but a huge wave of sadness just hit me and now I'm waking up each morning feeling miserable.
Im a sahm mum, so in that respect very lucky that I'm not having to juggle work etc. But my life is just completely empty!!
Me and my children have done every activity, game, walk etc that we can think of and we are now all bored out of our minds. I have not spent a single minute alone since 23rd march.
As of tomorrow all shops, town centres etc are opening up. My parents are so happy, theyve been to lovely villages in the countryside, to ironbrige, and are now going to go to Chester, Shrewsbury, Manchester for a lovely day out.
But for me I still feel trapped!! I don't think that taking young kids to these places is a good idea, so we are still just going to be stuck with at home, with bad weather at the moment too
I didn't really have much of a social life before all this, but the problem has been magnified by lockdown. I'm seeing other people having fun nights with family and friends on zoom etc. We have none of that. When this is over I am going to make some positive changes and I'm trying to focus on that but anyone else feeling really isolated?

The parks thing has me particularly furious (and my child is a bit young for them).

People going shopping will touch hand rails on stairs or escalators, buttons on lifts, products in shops.

If it were that infectious in that way, we would be seeing bigger numbers of infection from the start of easing lockdown. Thankfully that hasn't happened.

Play parks are outside and children are the lowest risk. The fact that opening parks wasn't one of the first things on the agenda is infuriating.

Local councils (at least in Wales) have the power over that. So it feels like children have been forgotten about entirely.

I’m in Wales also, it’s not only 2 people we’re allowed to see, it’s unlimited people from 2 households

bittersidedown - I know they r expensive and not everyone can afford those - but having playdates again is a big change for us! BBQs with friends, meeting friends at the park, going on nature trails, going to MacDonald's (it's quite cheap - even if you just go for a bag of chips to share - it's one thing that's different to do! And if you can stretch to a happy meal, there's a toy too!) I think things feel like they r getting better and playdates is a huge step forward ...

I’m a single mum with two teenagers. Ds(18) had his exams cancelled, had his 18th birthday in lockdown, his driving test cancelled, his start to uni postponed, can’t visit his dad and sister or take up his summer job. He’s had to sacrifice so much, and that’s hard as a mum to watch. I’m disabled, so all the go for a walk / run / cycle options are off the table. I’ve been quite positive up until now, but this week I’ve definitely been more emotional, and felt like I’m struggling.
I also take my hat off to mums of toddlers.. it must be so, so hard, and you totally have my sympathy and respect.

Zoos, farms & legoland etc are also only good for those who can drive..
I can't drive. I'm not within 'walking distance' of anywhere that has opened or is opening up!

but having playdates again is a big change for us! BBQs with friends, meeting friends at the park

In England you still have to social distance if you do any of these things.
I have a 2yo and a 5yo. It’s an hour of constant ‘reminders’ to keep our distance, not to get too close, wait here a minute etc etc. And that’s when we go out by ourselves. Trying to stop my children running up to their friends on a play date or keeping away from their cousins at a family BBQ is just going to be stressful and unpleasant for all concerned. That’s why we haven’t done any of those things.

Plus you are still supposed to be keeping to groups of 6 or less right?! There’s 4 in my household, that doesn’t leave us many options to meet up with friends or family with children, even when observing social distancing.

YANBU to be finding it hard but YABU to think stuff is only aimed at adults. Shops aren’t opening for leisure, it’s to boost the economy and the way they’re doing it isn’t going to make people feel inclined to spend loads of time browsing for shoes and clothes.
Things opening that are suitable for children; theme parks including Legoland, zoos, safari parks, mini golf and grounds of national trust properties. I know it’s not the most scintillating in the world and yes, it costs money but apart from a garden centre and shops, there isn’t much more adults can do.
We are all bored here. :( it’s more bearable if the weather is ok though.

Yanbu. Some expected in school yet too dangerous for all in school. İt's safe for all the childless adults to go out though. There was a fitness class happening in our local park. They were not staying 2 metres apart from each other. About 17 of them in all. My child rode his bike (trying to learn without stabilisers) he was about 3 metres away and he was shouted at to stay back! Scared and shocked him. Made him cry and now doesn't want to ride his bike! This class was mainly 50 + year olds.... Cheers people. We stayed in for you, you are enjoying your class but my kid can't ride his bike and is too scared too now! Sorry really pissed off today. Ruined our only day out Due to work for DH and me WFH with 4 kids and only one allowed back

I do think it's horrendous that the little pre schoolers etc have basically been left out. They are the ones who NEED to keep their brains engaged and social activity going because who knows what impact this might have down the road.

I have 2 toddlers and I am getting increasingly more frustrated with it all. It all just seems so unfair. I feel they have missed out on so much, and it must seem like so long for them in their little lives and I am very concerned at what impact it is having.

I'm totally in sympathy, with a lively 9 y.o. and a 17month crazy toddler and an OH who works very hard so it's hard to ask him for much help or time to myself, and he is amazing honestly so I feel very lucky.

My local playground is now given over to gaggles of depressed teenagers ignoring the rules. Loads of people stop for a rest on the bench just outside the playground entrance - that's fine apparently!

We have recently started to meet friends out and about in our neighbourhood, going on bike rides, scooter play dates. As 6 people can meet in a garden I'm thinking of having a friend and her two kids over for lunch with me and my two kids (OH being effectively locked in his home office all day).

Tomorrow we are doing a scavenger hunt with a friend. A bit of rain doesnt hurt too much.

@Givingup123456 that is really shocking! I would have been so cross! The whole country seems to have gone mad and sees children as filthy little covid germ spreaders!
I blame the bloody media. If we didn't have global social media like we do now, I reckon this whole pandemic wouldn't have come to half as much trouble as it has. It's spread fear like wildfire

İt has taken us ages to get him to try to ride the bike i. The first place. İf it wasn't for doing the cycling proficiency and not wanting him picked on i would have said stuff the bike if you don't want to learn. So we are trying to build his confidence up and because some older people feel scared of germa want to do a few stretches we are back to square one. Of they arE that worried then they should have stayed home. Doesn't help not long after he tried again and rode into a metal pole! . He wasn't having a good day!

Not my proudest moment but I flipped them the bird as i didn't want to swear Infront of the kids. Not right but I was so angry i couldn't think of anything intelligent to say and me against 17 others is a lot! DH was round the corner with the other kids. Oof he's going to try again with DH tomorrow on his own as ds 2 is back at school. So need to drag all of them up so he can play in reception for a few hours. He will cry because his brothers not going too. His older brother will cry because he's not allowed to go and the pre schooler will cry as she watches her friends go in as she couldn't get a space. And we'll the baby cries because she's a baby. Wasn't accepting this to be honest when I had kids. This is the first time i have felt awful becoming a mother. Not because i don't like it but I feel guilty and like i have ruined their childhoods in the space of 3 months!

Truthfully I feel that zoos, theme parks and the like will be such a stressful affair at this moment with social distancing and queues and so on. They are in the school holidays never mind a time like this. A lot of people will flock to these places as just a thing to do but the waiting times will be on a next level. Will it really be a fun thing to do with longer then usual waiting times and trying to keep children socially distanced apart?

My ILs, who are in their 60s and therefore part of the higher risk population we have shut down the country to save, have got most of their life back. They are playing golf, visiting several national trust properties a week and meeting friends for picnics. It doesn't feel fair.

@Duckchick Do you mean for health reasons? It's over 70s who are considered the higher risk category and they're not shielding unless for health reasons. It is pretty crap for most people right now, but it sounds like you resent that your PILs are able to do these activities. Aren't you pleased they're not stuck indoors too?

"My ILs, who are in their 60s and therefore part of the higher risk population we have shut down the country to save, have got most of their life back. They are playing golf, visiting several national trust properties a week and meeting friends for picnics. It doesn't feel fair."

No, the country didn't shut down to save the over 60's or even 70's. It shut down to protect the nhs.
Those who were told to shield are still shielding. If we live alone, we are allowed out once per day to meet one person (same person every time) and socially distance. We are not allowed to visit anyone's home, go to shops or anywhere else where there are other people. If we don't live alone, we can leave the house once per day with a member if our household.
Many of us still haven't managed to get regular supermarket deliveries, the food boxes have stopped for lots of those shielding with no explanation.
Do you think we didn't have jobs, lives, families, friends before all this? Is it our fault that we have significant health problems?
How many times do we have to tell you that the elderly do not and never have had to shield unless they have a condition that puts them on the extremely clinically vulnerable list!!!

You can do everything that your in-laws are doing unless you are shielding. So stop bloody moaning and spare a thought for those who can't.

It’s not a good idea for people without children to be engaging in these activities either. They will because they can, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t making a poor choice.

I feel the same, we are still just doing the same walks around local countryside that we have always been doing. Nothing that is opening is suitable to take a small child to!
Nothing has changed for us yet

Today my children saw, and played with, another child of the same age for the first time in nearly 3 months. We decided not to insist on socially distancing between the children- they hadn't seen another child in weeks either. They all cried when it was time to leave. (This was my two DDs and two of our nieces)

But adults can go to the pub or play golf. Adults can socialise with friends easily at 2m.

It's about the economy

Children just cost money

There’s a lot of spiteful ageism in this thread.

@Megatron of course I'm pleased my ILs life is returning much more to normal, my MIL found lockdown very difficult and we worried about her, she is now back to her normal self. I understand that opening up things that would help young children like playgrounds isn't a priority because it doesn't help the economy - but it doesn't feel proportionate given the risk to my DC themselves is so small. Even knowing when that sort of thing might start happening would help a lot.

Even knowing when that sort of thing might start happening would help a lot.

Yes, I understand that, I've been shielding since March and I'm so fed up. It would be good to know what the next steps are really.

I 100% agree. I’m on mat leave and have sent my DC1 almost 3 back to nursery 3 days a week so she can play with friends with no distancing. Those same friends we meet regularly on non nursery days and other friends. Adults distance kids don’t. We were so so strict until Dominic Cummings and then I literally just gave in. It made me furious how hard life was and miserable we were when he just did whatever he wanted. So now we meet friends (always outside) and try and live our lives. Have booked to go to the zoo, waiting with baited breath for parks to open.