Feel like the country is opening back up but not for people with young kids

[Bookworm36]

I am feeling so so isolated. I had been feeling pretty good until last week. I don't know what happened but a huge wave of sadness just hit me and now I'm waking up each morning feeling miserable.
Im a sahm mum, so in that respect very lucky that I'm not having to juggle work etc. But my life is just completely empty!!
Me and my children have done every activity, game, walk etc that we can think of and we are now all bored out of our minds. I have not spent a single minute alone since 23rd march.
As of tomorrow all shops, town centres etc are opening up. My parents are so happy, theyve been to lovely villages in the countryside, to ironbrige, and are now going to go to Chester, Shrewsbury, Manchester for a lovely day out.
But for me I still feel trapped!! I don't think that taking young kids to these places is a good idea, so we are still just going to be stuck with at home, with bad weather at the moment too
I didn't really have much of a social life before all this, but the problem has been magnified by lockdown. I'm seeing other people having fun nights with family and friends on zoom etc. We have none of that. When this is over I am going to make some positive changes and I'm trying to focus on that but anyone else feeling really isolated?

Yes, I feel the same, and I actually sort of feel even worse since the rules have been relaxed a bit to allow unlimited travel and with things like shops, zoos etc opening. Because we don't have a car and therefore we have not been able to benefit from any of the lockdown 'easing' steps at all so far other than meeting up outside in a park with others which we have done twice so far. Most of our family and friends appear too terrified to even do that with us, I do wonder whether a lot of that is due to DH's job in A&E.

The under 60’s were not in a vulnerable group, anymore than you are. You can also play golf and socialise at a distance, as can your children.

I feel incredibly isolated.

• Single parent
• Work long shifts when kids are with their dad every other weekend
• No family
• No car to drive
• Unable to use buses due to 10 person max thing which makes it almost impossible to get 3 kids on
• Local friends / acquaintances terrified to see me because I work for NHS / contagion
• “Bubbling” is a fucking joke because I mean who wants the burden of potentially having to self isolate their family for 14 days with all the childcare / work / financial implications so they can hang out with a person that is totally superfluous to their lives?

The “easing” has made it worse.

I empathise op. I have 4 under 5 and nothing opening up around us yet, and little info as to when either. Seems like so much is getting back to normal apart from anything for children. My eldest went back to school which cheered him up & two of his siblings went back to preschool albeit on reduced hours. Playgrounds not opening has riled me, some kids can go to school, you can shop, play certain sports, visit garden centres ( with two adults per household near us, no kids) but can’t go on the play area in the field without someone posting it on the local Facebook page. I am planning on meeting one of the other mums this week for a coffee in the garden whilst our babies play this week to break the monotony. I do feel young adults & children have been overlooked during this and presently.

It is spiteful ageism for sure

I agree with @parallax80 - slightly easing lockdown has certainly made things worse for people with small children. There’s nothing available for a parent with 3 children because of social distancing and limitations being placed on visitor numbers on shops and local attractions.

I wasn’t at all bothered when everyone was in the same boat but the concept of spending the fast-approaching summer holidays indoors makes me feel utterly depressed. Serious case of FOMO over here.

I'm seeing other people having fun nights with family and friends on zoom etc. We have none of that.

OP how about you arrange to do this, you might have fun and maybe some of your friends and family feel the same?

How is it spiteful ageism? It's simply a fact that the things opening up are not relevant to children. I agree with the OP, it really feels like the nation's children and working age adults have been thrown under the bus to support the elderly yet again.

It's horrible for children. In some ways worse for little ones who have no idea why they can't play at the park or what social distancing means or why they can't see their grandparents.
My children are old enough to understand but they are climbing the walls. Bored out of their minds even though school work takes up some time. They won't go for walks because they got shouted at last time (I think this was because the bloke thought they were friends not sisters and they weren't socially distancing) but really.
It just seems unfair that children can't even go to the play area in a park.

I think it’s interesting people talk about homeschooling kids etc as if that’s all they need in like. To be home with parents doing schoolwork.

My poor kids are bored rigid, just lolling around in the living room watching TV upside down. We go for a walk which has gone from a bit of outdoorsy pleasure to a soul crushing repetitive chore.

Kids need friends, they need hobbies, they need stimulation and distractions.

So damaging for everyone.

I really dread every new week because it’s the same but less every time. About to hit the wall big time.

What @Sugarplumfairy65 said
My parents are over 70 and never had to shield because they're not extremely vulnerable

We’ve done walks with the kids every weekend - there are loads of nature reserves to walk in! Den building, bug hunting, tree climbing, stone collecting, digging in dirt, tadpole and dragonfly “hunting”, some “caveman carving” with bark and stones etc.
There is so much to do! mine are 3 and 7, and the little one is now a really good walker (he wasn’t before lockdown!), so 3 miles are not an issue, and i put him in the carrier once he fers tired.

I think most people are fed up
People with young children and nowhere to go
School age children worrying about school/exams
Elderly worried about the virus
Shielding stuck in (lots of us aren't going out still because distancing seems to have vanished)
People shielding children
NHS/key workers exhausted
Furloughed people worried about their job/bills
People made redundant

Nobody is a winner here, some people just have it slightly less shit than others. People fed up with families would love to be in my position of living alone, whereas I haven't seen anyone since mid March and just want a hug

It is frustrating though to keep seeing elderly = shielding, because it doesn't at all. Unless they are extremely vulnerable and have been asked to shield, then they're not

I think like in all mn posts people are purposely missing the point or are being completely disingenuous.
I agree with you completely op , I’m not in the UK but things are still strict here , playgrounds are officially allowed open which is fantastic but of course they managed golf clubs to open a few weeks prior to them... Here though some councils didn’t even bother to get the locks off the playgrounds, we hop over the wall where we can but will get a bolt cutter out myself if they don’t soon. I think children have as much right as adults have to exercise and no children are different to adults and like different things so the same walk for the last 4 months isn’t going to cut it. And as for shops, wtaf are single parents doing? The looks if a child is brought into a shop...
Just bizarre and no I don’t think all people are suffering the same way, of course some people have it a lot worse but it’s obvious that people with children have been put at the bottom of the pile here and I dread to think of the effects long-term of this. I’m in the lucky position where I’m able to pick up my freelance work after this and so don’t have to wfh and do full time childcare and homeschool, like that’s impossible!! But then you hear “ well no , it tough on us all”. I can empathize like a normal human that it’s probers tougher on the parent wfh with no childcare and homeschooling than me!
Now however and going forward I will be absolutely cautious but if I need to go to a shop and get essentials and my dh is working we will go , we will go cycling on the cycle paths where we have gotten dirty looks , we will go where we want within reason. It’s showing a really strange side of society, almost resentful of children being children.

@snappycamper

How is it spiteful ageism? It's simply a fact that the things opening up are not relevant to children. I agree with the OP, it really feels like the nation's children and working age adults have been thrown under the bus to support the elderly yet again.

Zoos, safari parks, National trust properties, theme parks and mini golf are not for children?

I’m an adult, I don’t play golf and I don’t need a new car so I have no need to visit a car show room.

Shops are for the economy, it’s hardly going to be a leisure experience. It sounds like an unpleasant military operation!

I really do think playgrounds should be opened. My local council have talked about installing washing facilities and things to wipe down equipment. I know children cannot socially distance that easily but it’s outside!

Case and point there above

Agree 100% @TheMurk.
Running groups, cycling groups , even football training all for adults here but not for children? And in my country they were opened earlier with the intention of helping people’s mental health but what about kids mental health. There is even the suggestion that kids can’t go into swimming pools when opened..

Haenow as far as I can see, the leisure things that are opening are the ones that are expensive and usually require a car. Libraries, council sports centres, playgrounds, toy libraries, community centres, public transport to an extent, all remain shut. (This clearly affects people of all ages and is just one example of the current situation exaggerating existing inequalities).

My own experience of being a single parent doing food shopping is that I was reduced to tears on every occasion. It is almost impossible to keep 3 infant school aged children 2m apart from everyone unable / unwilling to change their own trajectory while actually doing any useful food shopping. And then trying to carry a week’s worth of stuff home while also managing to corral children 2m away from anyone else on the street.

@parallax80

It’s tricky though because they’re predominantly opening outside spaces. As I said, retail will collapse if they continue to remain closed, so it’s economic as opposed to social and leisure.

I think my local library is opening soon. Hopefully they will all follow suit. They can just restrict numbers surely?
Playgrounds should absolutely open. Public transport isn’t restricted to adults. I know it’s a reduced service but if you want to use it, you won’t be stopped.

@Thefab3

Well, that’s not very fair given I actually do think more places should be open for children. Please read what I’ve actually said.
I don’t make the rules nor do I agree with them!

@Thefab3

Also, it’s possible to see both sides or does this have to become an echo chamber?

I’m shielding so I’m not seeing the outside world at all but I accept its what I need to do. I am able to be objective than some people on here, perhaps?

Well yes things like libraries and playgrounds cost the council money... funny though cos last time I checked I was still paying my full council tax...

I'm in Wales, a single parent, youngest has severe autism, doesn't understand social distancing. I've mentally hit a wall this week, I'm absolutely exhausted. Feel like the kids have just been left behind in all this. The week just stretches into nothing, utterly bleak.

It costs about £110 for a family to go to London zoo. All the things opening are expensive or require a car to get to. If you don't have a car, you can't go anywhere.

Nothing has changed for us apart from DC1 being back at school. Same 5 or so parks, same few bike rides. Our library is opening soon but apparently you wont actually be able to touch the books (?!) So that's out as well.

Tbh everyone has just started jumping the fences into the playgrounds round here, and I don't blame them. I'm very worried this is going to be used as an excuse to further cut back on leisure centres, playgrounds, libraries, public toilets.