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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if you regret getting a dog?

276 replies

Saladmakesmesad · 13/06/2020 22:53

The plan has always been to get a dog when the kids weren't little anymore, and they're not little anymore. I grew up with dogs and know all the usual things people say (adopt don't shop, dogs are for life, don't get one during coronavirus, research the breed, all dogs are different, get insurance, don't leave it home alone for ages etc). I'm not trying to be dismissive I'm saying I've researched it a lot and am absolutely not rushing into anything at all. I want a dog very, very much and have done for years, but that doesn't mean I don't realise what a big undertaking it is.

But... when I talk to dog owners, they seem to be quite negative. Several told me recently that if they could go back, they wouldn't get their dog, as much as they love them. Another said once her dog dies, she won't be replacing her. Another said her dog recently died and life is much easier now, as sad as she is.

So, overall and even acknowledging that you love them, do you regret getting a dog? If so, why?

YABU: I do NOT regret getting my dog.
YANBU: I DO regret getting my dog.

OP posts:

Nottherealslimshady · 14/06/2020 09:37

I do not regret my dog at all. I love the bones of her, dont know what I'll do when she dies.
But j still ell people all the negatives and inconveniences of having a dog so you know what you're getting into.

Billyjoearmstrong · 14/06/2020 09:41

The only time I regretted my dog was when I had to give her up after 8 years (luckily she went back to her original breeder, on the farm where she was born and lived the rest of her life happily).

I thought my dog would be for life but then very suddenly my life changed almost over night, I had to move across the country to a city and rent a very small place and could find nowhere that would take pets especially as I’d ended up on benefits too. I NEVER thought that would happen to me - I went from being very well off to losing everything in the space of a few weeks and it ended up having to rehome the dog or me and my child being homeless.

I’d never get another dog, or any pet again because of that reason, you never know how life will change.

FiveShelties · 14/06/2020 09:48

@BroomHandledMouser just lovely, I am so envious. Enjoy every minute.

romdowa · 14/06/2020 09:52

My father has four dogs and I lived with him up to last year and even though they are work and can be little shits. I miss having a dog, they are really great fun and honestly they can brighten up even the darkest days. But if you arent 100% on getting a dog , then I would hold off and i think that is why some people are a bit negative. The dog was something they didnt want 110%

Furrydogmum · 14/06/2020 09:55

I don't regret getting a dog, I have 3. I will not get another dog while any of my current dogs are alive. However, I will have a break before I get another dog when the time comes - hopefully distant, but my girls are all in their 10th years so old ladies now. My dogs are not left at home for holidays, this has meant that we haven't done any long haul with our children and also holidays have been tied to being dog friendly or we've split up to do different things.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 14/06/2020 09:55

I never regretted having our dogs, but after the last died at over 14 we didn’t get another.
Dds had left home by then so we were no longer tied to going away in school holidays - could go away for impromptu weekends, etc., or just out for the day, without having to think about kennels (you needed to book early anywhere around here) or getting home to feed/walk the dog, or just let it out for a pee.

I still love dogs and often feel ‘broody’ for another - but the kitchen floor stays much cleaner and I’m no longer hoovering up dog hair all over the place!
It was a whole different thing when dds were young/still at home.

SoupDragon · 14/06/2020 10:02

Yes. All the time.

We can't go out for impromptu days out. We can't go on weekends away. Finding boarding for a summer holiday is a pain. He is very very needy. Mostly it is the lack of freedom that he has brought. We can't go and visit my mum very often because he would have to be left at home.

I do love him but I do not love being a dog owner and would never get another.

Having a dog as a child and being a dog owner are very different.

SoupDragon · 14/06/2020 10:03

I think the problem is that you won't know if you'll regret it until you do.

IWantThatName · 14/06/2020 10:09

Oh I don't know how to answer that. I have a dog that's my first dog. For the first two weeks I really regretted having a dog, but after that she just became part of the family and we wouldn't be without her now. But - she has cost us a fortune in medical bills that aren't covered by insurance. I mean £thousands over the years.
And yes, I'm one of those saying that once she goes, I don't know if we'd get another one. Except of course she is a great companion; gets me out of the house; gives me a sense of security as she's a great watch-dog.
So I don't regret getting her, not really, but at the same time ...
Cats are so much easier.

Runmybathforme · 14/06/2020 10:10

It’s true , they give so much joy and love to the family, I’ve got so many happy memories of our dog. However, the last few years of his life were difficult. Health insurance becomes too expensive when they get old, my colleague couldn’t retire as her elderly dog became diabetic and she had to work to pay for his insulin. Also, days out are severely restricted always worrying about getting home. I’ll never get another dog, I prefer my freedom. I think if you have small children it may be different.

raspberryk · 14/06/2020 10:12

We don't regret our dog, as the pros outweigh the cons for us, however we've yet to take her on holiday so that could be interesting if it's too hot to take her to the beach but also can't be left alone in the accommodation.
We have quite a few options of doggy care, her breeder, her dog walker, and family members. But it's costly.
She costs a fortune in dog walking.
She has a sensitive stomach so she also costs more in food and supplements than we expected.
We need to upgrade our car/dp needs to buy a car and pass his test asap as we can't actually fit her in anywhere safely at the moment.
You can't go out for the day spontaneously.
They need to be walked twice a day regardless of the weather. If it's going to be hot then that means crazy early and crazy late in the day.
You have to walk them before work/any trip so for us that's adds on waking up an hour earlier than we used to.

GrouchyKiwi · 14/06/2020 10:13

Sort of.

We have a large breed dog who is nearly 2. The big dogs are puppies till they're about 2 1/2 so it has been a difficult couple of years in some ways. For the first few weeks I thought I'd made a massive mistake even though I wanted this particular breed for about 20 years before getting her.

But now that she's calming down and is becoming very obedient and sweet (mostly - she hates coming inside) she's mostly a joy. She's affectionate and beautiful and funny and snuggly occasionally (I really thought she's be cuddlier than she is, actually) and I love having her.

Having to walk her daily can be difficult as my health has become worse since we got her, and going away to NZ is really hard. If we are actually allowed to go at Christmas this year then we've got someone to come and live in our house to look after her. But that's our last lengthy trip for a few years. Even with someone to live with her, it's really not fair to go away for 4 weeks like we will be.

Overall I don't regret her, but there are days when I think it would be better without her. Not many days, but still some.

Littlemeadow123 · 14/06/2020 10:14

I've never regretted it. Whenever someone tells me that they regret it or that they plan on not getting another one then I kind of assume it was never the right thing in the first place. Or they did no research whatsoever and got the wrong breed.

Chesneyhawkes1 · 14/06/2020 10:16

God no. I'll always have at least 2 dogs. Never had a minutes regret. I've got 3 now.

1stTimeMama · 14/06/2020 10:16

Absolutely I do regret getting a dog, for lots of reasons, but my husband really enjoys her and its not like you can have a trial 'see how it goes', so I'm stuck.

Confusedismyname · 14/06/2020 10:22

There are parts of owning a dog that I could do without, but the pluses far outweigh the bad.

My dogs are amazing and I wouldn’t be without them. They instinctively know when I’ve had a bad day and cheer me up.

Kirschcherry · 14/06/2020 10:25

My DH is a vet and we have always had dogs. He had a dog when we got together in our early twenties and I grew up in a house that always had dogs so it’s just what I know. We have two dogs and I can not imagine a home without at least one dog in it. We are very lucky though as my parents are local and happy to pop in and let them out if we go out for the day and we have a good friend who comes and stays in our house to pet sit when we go away.

pinktaxi · 14/06/2020 10:35

Dogs and children are wonderful and awful in equal measures. Talking just about the dogs, they tie you so so much. Holidays? Always difficult with a dog. They need walking every day. Dog poo needs picking up (lovely if it's runny), the garden poo area stinks. Muddy paw prints through 10 months of the year. Dog hair everywhere. Barking (if you have a barky breed. If your sick, you still need to sort the dog out.....and it always falls on you. Pet insurance is so expensive but vital. Dogs smell doggy u less you wreck your bathroom bathing them.

Every time I think of stroking a lovely limpid eyed dog, I remember the above.

MatildaTheCat · 14/06/2020 10:37

No because we are well placed to own him and can afford to pay for fantastic care when we want to go away.

BUT circumstances have changed and I’m now suffering from a painful condition that means I don’t think I will get another puppy. They really are very hard work indeed. Especially if you make my rookie mistake of getting a puppy in January.

SausageSimon · 14/06/2020 10:38

I adore my dogs, I have two dachshunds. However the first one was an absolute dream, I put a lot of effort into her training and you could really see it paying off. A fantastic dog very well behaved, confident and happy and literally the only downside of her is you feed her slightly too much and she goes chunky very fast! And if that's the only negative you really can't complain can you

However, second dog closely related to first one couldn't be more different. She's very small, skinny and anxious! She's very cute and affectionate but at the minute our walks are stressful. She was attacked by a dog at 4 months old and ever since she's terrified of everyone we encounter and barks furiously, then my other dog gets stressed and reacts also. Not quite as good with house training either but not terrible! At times I regret adding a second but I wouldn't change her for the world now she's here, they're a gorgeous pair both of them.
We are currently working with an experienced dog trainer and I'm hoping that walks will be enjoyable again in the near future and then I really won't have any worries with them

Zaphodsotherhead · 14/06/2020 10:42

@SoupDragon

I think the problem is that you won't know if you'll regret it until you do.

Much like having a baby!

EmotionalFlood · 14/06/2020 10:46

I adore my dogs. I don't see them as a burden or tie. We look after family members dogs and they ours if we go abroad without them, but if we travel within the UK or Europe we generally take the dogs with us (they have passports and travel very well (we usually drive and take the tunnel!)). Although I hate constantly cleaning up the hair, don't always want to go for a walk in the rain or they're being naughty, I wouldn't be without them

Imapotato · 14/06/2020 10:50

No. I now don’t regret getting any of my dogs.

However our first family dog we got when we weren’t really in the right circumstances, and I do regret that her early years probably weren’t what they should have been (nothing really bad, we just didn’t really have the time or space for her to live her best life). That changed when we moved and her later years were lovely, we sadly lost her last year at the age of 14.

We have two other middle aged dogs and have just got a new crazy puppy. Puppies are hard work, but I don’t regret any of them even for a second.

We are in the lucky position however that my in-laws will always look after them if we go away or have to go out for the whole day somewhere we can’t take them. So we aren’t too limited by not being able to leave them.

Unforgettablefire · 14/06/2020 10:59

I got my pup at six weeks and loved him immediately (rescue) and lost him aged 13 a couple of years ago. The pain was indescribable and is the only thing that’s put me off having another.
If I could I would go back and have those 13 years again I would.
God I miss him.

Original poster

Saladmakesmesad · 14/06/2020 11:13

Thank you all so much for taking the time to share your experiences. It does sound a lot like having kids! You wouldn’t be able to quite explain why all the hassle is worth it but it just so is. But equally I’m grateful to those who shared more negative feelings too and think you’re all admirable for persevering despite regrets.

I won’t rush into anything (already haven’t!) but from what you’ve all said our lifestyle would fit well as long as we choose the right breed.

OP posts:

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