To ask if you regret getting a dog?

[Saladmakesmesad]

The plan has always been to get a dog when the kids weren't little anymore, and they're not little anymore. I grew up with dogs and know all the usual things people say (adopt don't shop, dogs are for life, don't get one during coronavirus, research the breed, all dogs are different, get insurance, don't leave it home alone for ages etc). I'm not trying to be dismissive I'm saying I've researched it a lot and am absolutely not rushing into anything at all. I want a dog very, very much and have done for years, but that doesn't mean I don't realise what a big undertaking it is.

But... when I talk to dog owners, they seem to be quite negative. Several told me recently that if they could go back, they wouldn't get their dog, as much as they love them. Another said once her dog dies, she won't be replacing her. Another said her dog recently died and life is much easier now, as sad as she is.

So, overall and even acknowledging that you love them, do you regret getting a dog? If so, why?

YABU: I do NOT regret getting my dog.
YANBU: I DO regret getting my dog.

Not the right 'breed' but the right 'dog' Salad. Variation within breed can be enormous and I've known so many people who've been disappointed with their dog because they chose a certain breed for certain attributes, without realising that their dog just didn't have them!

Not all Labradors are loving, cosy family dogs. Not all collies are easy to train and quick to learn.

I have no excuse. Patterdales are difficult dogs. I have no idea what came over me...

Having a dog as a child and being a dog owner are very different
That is so true and I think something that lead many to thinking they made a mistake.

One thing I'm so glad I listen to my OH was going for a small dog. I've always had big ones and really didn't like little ones. They were not 'real' dogs to me. I can now so see the advantages of a smaller dog. Smaller poos, easy to pick up, people are not scared of them, you can travel with them more easily.

I also shamefully admit that I have a big preference for 'intelligent' dogs. I like to be able to train them myself quickly and for them respond well to commands.

they chose a certain breed for certain attributes, without realising that their dog just didn't have them
That's very true although the sane spies the other way. We have a dog known for being yappy. Ours hates dogs that bark and have no i retest in barking themselves. I'm very happy about that!

We have two dogs, both adult rescues. One is an angel dog (heeler x, very very intelligent, a really cerebral dog, super easy to train—although he used to be insanely noise sensitive and reactive to cars on walks so that took a decent amount of training out of him), we’ve had him for 13 years and he’s at least 15 now and still going strong. The other had issues upon issues (cocker spaniel with fluff instead of a brain) but is almost a ‘normal’ dog now. She was a breeding bitch at a puppy farm for 3-4 years and she was an absolute emotional wreck when we got her. We’ve had her for coming up to 4 years now, and she’s unrecognisable as the terrified thing who’d mess where she stood, mess out of fear and in new situations, wouldn’t sit on a dog bed (she’d sleep on hard floor only), terrified of the car, couldn’t be walked etc etc... We had to rip up carpets initially as they were ruined from her accidents, but she’s consistently clean and dry inside both day and night now. I the first year I really did struggle with her, but I love her with all my heart and am so proud of her recovery from so many years if neglect and abuse.

Our other dog learnt toilet training in about 2 days rather than 1 year. People who see his tricks constantly say he should go on Britain’s Got Talent (that’s a heeler for you! Super smart!). I knew he was the dog for me when we visited the rescue centre and he jumped up and licked the nose of the worker who brought him out. He’s been no trouble in all his years and has never needed to go to the vet for anything other than booster shots. A hardy and delightful dog. Even people who don’t like dogs like him!

The dogs make holidays more expensive (we use dog boarders not kennels) and can limit things we do spontaneously, but I work from home and love walking, and enjoy the company. They’ve been brilliant for my mental health, giving me something to live for during my darkest days of sever depression—knowing they relied on me to look after them. Other than holiday boarding, they have not been expensive at all. Neither has had any health problems. The 15 year old is getting a bit blind and deaf but isn’t slowing down really!

I would recommend getting a small/medium adult rescue dog which has been assessed as good with children and other dogs. I’ve adored having a working breed who loves to learn and perform tricks, and can go for miles and miles every day without tiring. Even at 15 he needs to run for at least an hour plus structured walk time and obedience to calm him down afterwards (otherwise he throws his bed and anything else he can pick up around the house, pushes things over with his nose etc). If you’re less active then a non-working breed is likely to be better.

Good luck in your decisions!

I adore dogs ...... my life doesn’t feel complete without one. Our current dog is a massive Doberman who is without a shadow of a doubt the kindest most gentle dog ever... my children adore him and he is my daughters best friend ....

He had been hugely expensive, and complexly Ill .... but I wouldn’t change him for a second .... I know far too many people who get dogs - who aren’t really dog people .... too many fluffy cockapoos that they are harassed into owning, who then dont get enough training / exercise / attention and drive their owners mad .... I think these people probably regret .

DH struggles with our dog as a puppy as He had never had one before ..... but I personally find puppies a massive joy and much much easier than kids ....

Dogs complete our family -I never regret having one .... but with this one I do know parting will be the hardest one yet as my children’s hearts will break and that will be so hard to bear

I do I’ve never had a dog before and find him needy and clingy and hate I don’t get time to myself when kids are in bed and the dog won’t leave me alone, the kids love him though and seeing their connection is lovely but given the choice again I wouldn’t have got him

We've always had dogs so the house feels empty without one.

I don't use the word rescue, none of my dogs have been poorly treated, but we always rehome greyhounds and whippets as they are such easy and affectionate dogs. Both breeds have very short fur and are energetic on walks but chilled in the house (mostly asleep).

Contrary to their appearance, they don't require tons of exercise (they're sprinters not marathon runners) and are good with children.

I wouldn't have a puppy again (all puppies are hard work, regardless of breed) and, when our rather elderly ex-racer passes, will likely look for another adult male as I find dogs have more patience with children than bitches (just my own experience - your mileage may vary).

There are loads of Rescue Centres dedicated to these breeds but greyhounds (and lurchers) are also quite common in general rescue centres too.

If you want a short haired medium dog, a whippet would be a good breed to explore but they are very much in demand so harder to come across (I think they've become the media's new 'posh' people's dog). One won crufts not so long ago.

No regrets get one! He is part of our family. We had him since he was a puppy and has been with us for 11 years - so much has changed during this time we got married, had children, moved house, experienced bereavements and he has been through it all with us. He gives great cuddles and comfort and is spoiled rotten. He is at the upper age for his breed and is slowing down and the thought of losing him upsets us all. He has brought so much happiness to our home.

Never. All the dogs in our family have been… family. I'd give anything to have just another day with any of them.

Our current boy is a big, slobbery golden retriever that drools and sheds hair everywhere. Wouldn't give him up for the world. Just seeing the joy he gets from waking up every day adds something of quality to my life.

I'd recommend a cat for less hassle but you still get the entertainment and something soft to stroke. They pretty much take care of themselves

No not in the slightest. However I’m very aware that for the last 3m there have been no spontaneous options available anyway 😂

I know when “ normal “ returns we will be stuck going out in the evening etc and we will notice it then !

We lost our beloved Ddog this april - we had her from a puppy. Yes, she was hard work at first (bit like a baby), but she gave us 14 and a half years of joy, and I miss her terribly. She was my 3rd child, and I won't be having another dog - not because of anything she did, just because a dog can live for many years and we are approaching retirement now. I believe there are many different types of dog owners, and many understand the commitment they are taking on - OP you sound like one of these that has carefully considered what having a dog entails. Sadly, some see a dog as almost a toy, or a status symbol.
As a previous dog owner I say think very carefully about the huge commitment you would be undertaking, and if you still feel the same, go for it.

I don't regret it but everything people say about it being a tie is absolutely true. It's hard work and a big commitment. Easier now I have a child because someone is always home in the evening with her.

Not at all - he’s fab and I wouldn’t be without him. He’s a breed that takes a while to grow up (golden retriever), so the first 3 years were tricky at times (stubborn sod....long teenage phase). He’s 5 now and we’re really enjoying him. We’ll def get another when he dies.

I have three.. Love them all.
Never a moment regret.
All the people who say they are such a tie, you can't go out for more than an hour or two etc.. I think it depends on breed and initial training.
We have a dog flap into a dog proof garden.
We always had 2 at a time so they have company
We leave them for the day if we have too.. Rarely but we know they are used to it. Content, can go out..
So I don't ever see them as a tie..

Couldn't imagine not having a dog tbh. Everyone I know has a dog, or four.

I have 2, love them to bits, it would be a lie to say they aren't a tie, but only occasionally when there is a family do and we all want to go so can't look after each others. I don't know what I would have done during lockdown without them, I would have been totally lonely. They are funny, affectionate and give me a focus of interest - although they mainly sleep all day! I truly can't recommend it enough, but you do have to be aware that it is a big commitment, I have family members who don't like dogs, which can be difficult, but in reality my 2 have no interest in people who don't like them. If you have thought about it thoroughly then definitely go for it. I love every day with mine.

Sorry, but yes. Expensive and too much of a tie.

He is very much part of the family and we certainly treat him as such. However, we're not getting another one once he goes. We've had him since he was 2 (I did not want a puppy) which was 8 years ago.

I don’t understand how you can ever take your children to a theme park, older dc to say the Trafford centre , go on weekend city breaks with your family, take your children to the zoo or a farm park or a museum. Unless your only activities outside the home are beaches and walks I can’t see how dogs are compatible with family life. Am I missing something because I do love dogs?

I don’t understand how you can ever take your children to a theme park, older dc to say the Trafford centre , go on weekend city breaks with your family, take your children to the zoo or a farm park or a museum.

You have the following options - dog-sitter, kennels or shorter trips - half-days rather than days out.

On a day out with the dog, if there are two adults, you can take turns to do some non-dogfriendly things, such as going into shops; or one of you might not be too bothered about seeing the museum etc. so can stay with the dog while the others go off.

It's all manageable but involves planning, compromise and/or expense if you go down the dog-sitting route - unless you have someone who will do it for nothing.

The plus side is that outdoor activities are much more fun with a dog. A boring walk on a rainy day makes you happy because you can see your dog enjoying himself. You are more likely to chat with other dog owners. And if you like outdoor things, there are plenty of dog friendly places and a surprising number of pubs are dog friendly in the UK.

toothfairy yes my DC is older but if we go anywhere for day he needs care. Dog walker will babysit him or my mum. For shorter outings I just book dog walker to take him out. All extra expense.

So many people get a dog, when what they want is an accessory. (see also: babies).

A dog is a living, breathing, thinking creature. If you get it with that in mind, you will be fine. If you get something to match the furniture, that will look good in Insta pictures, well, then you are in for trouble.

@ToothFairyNemesis well I hate shopping and shopping centres, so we never do that! We've always done walks, NT places, castles and stuff as family time. We don't tend to go the zoo or anything that costs money lots anyway. So the once a year that we might go to a zoo, dog goes to doggy day care- which she loves!

We are outdoorsy people anyway, we still go outside on days out when it's raining for example. I'm not that bored in lockdown, because our lives aren't massively different. We go camping for holidays, haven't been on a city break for 15 years anyway. And we have friends that would have dog for odd day too.

My dd is autistic so lots of crowded places indoors are no good for anyway. And not much can be spontaneous with her anyway.

I don't overall. When she does something naughty (she's 10 months large breed, full on teenager) I curse her, but I probably regret getting married and having kids more! That has limited my life far more than the dog.

I've never regretted it. Whenever someone tells me that they regret it or that they plan on not getting another one then I kind of assume it was never the right thing in the first place. Or they did no research whatsoever and got the wrong breed.

I planned for years and years (20+) but even my vet said we had been very unlucky with illnesses and accidents. Does anyone plan for at least one monthly visit for a couple of years to the vet with weeks of restrictive exercise or recovery and constant worry?

We brought home our puppy last week, a french bulldog. They're a needy breed, so stubborn and I have no idea when I'll be sleeping in my bed again because we don't want him upstairs but he won't be left alone. I do have puppy regret in a sense but I know that puppyhood is short lived and the hard work you put in will make an amazing dog. So I know it's worth it. We don't do lots of spontaneous days out but when we do go places, we'll be getting a dog sitter so he's not alone. My partner also works from home and I'm a SAHM so that helps.