I need to dump him (Offensive word warning)

[OntheWaves40]

Been seeing someone 12 months. Nice, down to earth, guy or so I thought.
Today, in reply to “what have you been up to” (I don’t even want to repeat it it’s that bad) he said “nothing much, just been monging out in front of the telly”.
I’m so mad at myself, I didn’t react, I just thought wtf did he just say that, is there a different meaning that I’ve totally never heard of etc. I’ve got home and realising there is no excuse, I know what I have to do I’m just bloody gutted that he turned out to be so vile.

Have you been seeing him for 12 months OP or since 2nd June. Are you seeing two men at once?

I’m surprised people don’t seem as outraged as me!

😆🤦🏻‍♀️

I’ve only heard that expression on here. Maybe it’s only used in certain areas.

@wildcherries Yes to this. I was called spaz as a child. It has stayed with me into adulthood. It makes me sad still when I hear it. It isn't a nice word to use.

My sister (who spent much of my childhood physically, mentally and emotionally abusing and torturing me) called me a "Spaz" in front of huge numbers of people at a competition once. Not one person pulled her up on it. Was mortified.

Overreaction.

Over the top reaction. He means sitting in front of the tv doing nothing. Explain to him why it’s wrong to use that word. Jeez!

@ttim985y

lol yes I know what it means but a poster upthread said they hadn't realised it was rude. I don't know what this rude meaning is supposed to be?

@ttim985y - that made me lol too.

Can somebody please tell us all why “can’t be arsed” is offensive ????

Ok its a teeny bit sweary but is there another meaning / background we are not aware of?

Sorry - rude, not offensive. Must just be use of the word arse then? rushes off to find pearls to clutch

Can’t be bothered to move your backside /arse to do whatever it is you cba about, I presume.

My dh used it once in the very early days of us dating. I told him why its offensive and he's never used it again. Good job i didn't freak out and dump him because he didn't know something.

Mong is offensive and shouldn’t be used. But so is the C word and I’m always amazed how many people on here use it.

Particularly as this is a female dominated site.

Never ever heard of the term monging out, so I will have to google it

I don't get your 'outrage' as such. I think the most important thing (in terms of continuing the relationship) is his reaction on being told that you don't like that type of language. I'd struggle to be with somebody who refused to accept that language, generally, can be loaded and can be modified to prevent unnecessary offence.

Total overreaction sorry.

I never knew the meaning. Had to google just now. Used it when I was in school on the 90's and not really heard it for a long time!

maybe check a dictionary

Omg we use this, it’s common where my BF is from, no idea it was offensive

My Dad used to say half cast up until a few years ago. He's 70 and grew up saying it. We all told him that it's now offensive but he wouldn't listen. Then he used it in front of a nurse who ripped him a new one in front of an entire waiting room! He apologised and has never used it since.

Dump him to save him the trouble of having to do it to you.

To me it still has the old meaning and so sounds awful but it’s in the urban dictionary to be an actual word with no offence intended, the same as “sick” meaning good or “peak” meaning bad or “peng” meaning good looking. Your partner may have no idea if it’s original meaning

I don’t think it resonates with younger people as it did for those of us in our 30s-50s. They don’t get the perjorative associations unless it’s explained to them.

I regularly hear my teens friends using ‘spaz’ for example.

Another one saying I grew up never knowing the useage of “mong” as an insult and would regularly use “monging about” to mean lazing about in front of the TV, usually in my PJs.

Once I found out the background of it I stopped using it.

I agree that someone isn’t necessarily bad for using certain terms, it’s how they react when it’s explained to them how it’s derogatory.

I think you might be putting your perceived prejudices onto someone else.
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=monging

"The act of just relaxing and chilling out, sometimes (though not necessarily) whilst or after having partaken in the smoking of Cannabis.

Monging usually takes place around the house however could occur in any comfortable exterior location of choice, e.g. sauna, field, hottub, etc."

I've always know that "mong" referred to people with Down's symdrome and that it was offensive. I am ashamed to say that I am of that generation where mong and spaz were playground insults but would never use them as an adult.

But...a few years ago, I had a slightly younger friend who used the phrase "monging around" for hanging about, not doing much and I actually never made the association that it was in any way associated to the other meaning of the word. It took reading something on social media to realise the connection and, to be honest, I'm still unsure why it is used for hanging around.