Should I report this child welfare concern?

[Tammy99]

I’m concerned about a young girl but I don’t know what to do, would appreciate advice on who to speak with. Sorry if this is in the wrong place.

Today I visited an elderly & vulnerable Aunt who lives an hours drive from me. She lives in high rise council housing, and has neighbours pop in 3 times a day to check on her. Just after I got there, 2 girls (age 10 & 13) came in the flat and went into the bedroom to talk to my Aunt. The Bedroom door was closed and she called out to me they were having a private conversation.

After 5 mins, the 2 girls went into the kitchen, helped themselves to sweets from the cupboard and left. They both live in the block but are unrelated.

My aunt tells me that the 13 year old is vulnerable, an orphan who lives with her Aunt, a latchkey child (I didn’t know what that was) since she was a youngster. She has been left to fend for herself most of the day for many years. She is very thin and already being looked after by a doctor. She has been attending school throughout lockdown as is classed as vulnerable / special needs.

My aunt tells me that the older girl had confessed to teaching the younger girl how to masturbate. She showed me a letter from the older girl saying she was sorry for being bad and she won’t do it again. The girls visit my aunt regularly, and are given money and sweets. She also said that the girl steals money from her if it’s left on the table.

Apparently the girls aunt has little interest in her. My Aunt is worried she’ll soon turn to drugs and fall in with the wrong crowd, becoming vulnerable to abuse. She looks very young, I thought she was 9 or 10 and was shocked to hear she was 13.

My aunt doesn’t want to report her to social services in case she gets removed from her home and taken into care or a home. I told her to speak with the school and let the professionals deal with it but the problem is my aunt has poor communication and speech, and would find it very hard to explain what had happened.

This has played on my mind all day and I’m sorry I have no experience of child welfare, who to speak to, how the system works etc

From another angle, I am also concerned that this young girl in a few years will be an older teenager, streetwise, still steeling from my aunt and taking advantage of her generosity, potentially with more sinister motives. Any intervention now could help stop this spiral?

I don’t know any more about the circumstances of how this incident happened, where or when. I do know that the mother of the younger girl is aware, but as far as I know hasn’t done anything about it.

AIBU in wanting to report this incident to the school or social services in the hope they can support her? Or will it do more harm than good?

Advice welcome.

Imo your aunt is a vulnerable woman and I would be ringing adult services at her local council. She really should not be letting dc unsupervised into her home...
Regardless of the young girl issue itself.
Ss about her - although finding details to give may be difficult..

Phone NSPCC. You MUST report this. It can’t go on. Please do not turn a blind eye.

If you are thinking “should I report this”, the answer is always yes. Your concerns could be investigated and found to be baseless, but that’s so much better than a child potentially suffering because nobody reported it.

You need to report this

Yes call NSPCC they can advise you.

Call the NSPCC for guidance around the children.

Speak to your aunt's social worker if she has one, or the council if not. If she's vulnerable then I'd be concerned about a lack of proper support.

You need to report this. For the girls' sake but also your aunt's. She has young girls in her bedroom talking about sex? That's not going to end well for her when someone else finds out.

I don't mean to imply your aunt is (knowingly) doing anything wrong here

@Windyatthebeach
SS are already aware of my aunt. We are trying hard to help her but she refuses to let carers in. Hence the reason neighbours are so involved in her care. We are doing our best in difficult circumstances and making small amount of progress. But the real issue is the child child welfare here.

your aunt and these two children are all vulnerable and at risk here. Ring child protection about the kids and adult social services about your aunt.
This whole situation is ringing alarm bells.

Yes. You have to.

Please report this as soon as possible to your Local Councils' Children's Services. Please report all the details that you are concerned about. You can ask to remain anonymous. Also, please do the same to Adult Services. Both adult and children are likely to be at risk of serious mental and physical harm.

Thanks all. I hadn't even thought about NSPCC but of course it's the obvious first step here. I will call them tomorrow.

Report to every organisation mentioned above.
Ask for the name of the person you speak to each time.
Keep this up until some action is taken.

@Samtsirch I will report ASAP. What action could / would be taken in this situation?

OP I would be more concerned about your family member, she is vulnerable and having a teenager and 10 year old in her home who take food and steal her money. These girls could be spinning your Aunt lies to take advantage of her. By all means report but like I said my main priority would be your elderly vulnerable Aunt. Alarm bells ringing this all feels very ‘off’.

The likelihood is they may be open already to social services or have been before. They would contact social services you can ask to remain anonymous.

What special needs does the 13 year old have?

I have to say I would have huge concerns for your Aunt regarding these girls coming into her home.

You say the 13 yo is in school because she is vulnerable / special needs. If school are classing her as vulnerable based on her situation then they already have an idea that things are not right, or is she vulnerable because she has special needs?

OP, with the best of intentions - are you 100% sure your aunt has a solid grasp on understanding the situation?
I have two family members in the early stage of dementia (my parents are looking after them) and they do have a tendency to invent quite wild things against everyone around. Stealing is one very common, both of them are throwing accusations that one of my parents stole money / family jewels / a newborn baby from them. Sometimes it is clearly insane, but sometimes would seem "believable" to an outsider.

I think that your aunt is obviously very vulnerable. I'd have been concerned at her saying she was having a private conversation behind closed doors. Not that she isn't entitled to privacy, but I would imagine it was because she was giving them money and she didn't want you to know how much. You really need to report this, all of it, to social services. At least to NSPCC, but as someone else has said, to Adult services. Your aunt and these children need protection.

This thread has been playing on my mind since I read it last night, really does not sit right. Two girls came into your vulnerable Aunts home, had a ‘private conversation’ in the bedroom with her then helped themselves to food from her kitchen. Does any of that sound normal to you? Also there is no proof or confirmation that anything the 13 year old has told your Aunt is true. How do you know she is an orphan? She could be making up lies to manipulate your Aunt or even the girls Aunt has come with with the idea to get money from her (you said money has been taken). This all needs to be reported ASAP and your Aunt should not be having them in her home for her own safety. Bit confused why this thread read concerned for 13 year old you do not know rather than elderly vulnerable family member.

I would be really worried about your aunt, if this is true.

It all sounds very dodgy

You need to report it, as whatever the older girl has and is experiencing, she is introducing the younger girl to it.

You definitely need to report it. Your aunt could be accused of grooming and she'd have no way to prove otherwise.

As much as it’s a worry about the Aunt, I’m even more concerned that the 13 year old has been “teaching the 10 year old how to masturbate” . That sounds like she could be sexually abusing the younger girl. She could even be a victim of sexual abuse herself.

See, on first reading I read that you were concerned about your Aunt being a danger to the girls. Private conversations in the bedroom followed by treats?

There's so much wrong here, of course it should be reported, although I suspect Social Care are already aware of the girls' living arrangements, your aunt's relationship with them may ring alarm bells.

I mean, what kind of relationship is there when a 13yo is happy to talk to an elderly neighbour about masturbation?