Should I report this child welfare concern?

[Tammy99]

I’m concerned about a young girl but I don’t know what to do, would appreciate advice on who to speak with. Sorry if this is in the wrong place.

Today I visited an elderly & vulnerable Aunt who lives an hours drive from me. She lives in high rise council housing, and has neighbours pop in 3 times a day to check on her. Just after I got there, 2 girls (age 10 & 13) came in the flat and went into the bedroom to talk to my Aunt. The Bedroom door was closed and she called out to me they were having a private conversation.

After 5 mins, the 2 girls went into the kitchen, helped themselves to sweets from the cupboard and left. They both live in the block but are unrelated.

My aunt tells me that the 13 year old is vulnerable, an orphan who lives with her Aunt, a latchkey child (I didn’t know what that was) since she was a youngster. She has been left to fend for herself most of the day for many years. She is very thin and already being looked after by a doctor. She has been attending school throughout lockdown as is classed as vulnerable / special needs.

My aunt tells me that the older girl had confessed to teaching the younger girl how to masturbate. She showed me a letter from the older girl saying she was sorry for being bad and she won’t do it again. The girls visit my aunt regularly, and are given money and sweets. She also said that the girl steals money from her if it’s left on the table.

Apparently the girls aunt has little interest in her. My Aunt is worried she’ll soon turn to drugs and fall in with the wrong crowd, becoming vulnerable to abuse. She looks very young, I thought she was 9 or 10 and was shocked to hear she was 13.

My aunt doesn’t want to report her to social services in case she gets removed from her home and taken into care or a home. I told her to speak with the school and let the professionals deal with it but the problem is my aunt has poor communication and speech, and would find it very hard to explain what had happened.

This has played on my mind all day and I’m sorry I have no experience of child welfare, who to speak to, how the system works etc

From another angle, I am also concerned that this young girl in a few years will be an older teenager, streetwise, still steeling from my aunt and taking advantage of her generosity, potentially with more sinister motives. Any intervention now could help stop this spiral?

I don’t know any more about the circumstances of how this incident happened, where or when. I do know that the mother of the younger girl is aware, but as far as I know hasn’t done anything about it.

AIBU in wanting to report this incident to the school or social services in the hope they can support her? Or will it do more harm than good?

Advice welcome.

Hi @Tammy99 I hope by now you've already phoned the NSPCC and contacted the local council children's services. Another option open to you is making a report to the MASH (multi agency service hub) for your borough/area. You can usually find a number of email address by googling MASH and name of your borough/ area. They will read your report and assign it to the correct agencies.

Another avenue I would definitely pursue is finding out which school this child goes to- does your Aunt know her school? If she does, please email the school office and also the Headteacher if you can find their email on the school website. I would also phone the school office number and leave a message. They are 100% guaranteed to pick that message up Monday (Headteacher will probably pick up an email tomorrow) and they will 100% pass it to social services and pursue it. I am a teacher involved in pastoral care and child protection stuff at my school so I know they would never ignore a call or email like that- we would have a duty of care to look into it. If that child is already going into school it will be because she has some form of social services involvement currently or in the past and the school will have details of her social worker/past social worker etc.
please, please do try and pursue the school route if you can. As a teacher I would absolutely want a member of the public to do this if they were worried about any of my students.

I would be more worried about your aunt, but your concerns about the girl definitely need reporting. Are you in touch with your aunts' helpful neighbours? Have you asked them if they can provide any more info?

Must say, I'm puzzled by your description of the girls' visit. I'm in quite a similar situation with an elderly relative living alone and if while I was visiting two local kids invited themselves into her flat, shut themselves in the bedroom with her for a "private conversation" and then helped themselves to stuff from her kitchen cupboards, there is no way in hell that I'd just be sitting there watching it happen. Didn't you say anything to the girls?

NSPCC Didn’t tell me to ring SS!

They did it all for me. I had to speak to several people on the phone. They also involved the police and I know as a result of my phone call to NSPCC about half a dozen people were interviewed about this man.

If it’s serious it gets taken out of your hands anyway. And this is serious.

Safeguarding Lead at the Girl’s school would be a good shout too but they’d have to pass it over to social services, social workers etc anyway.

I'd want my aunt out of there pronto! Sounds like cuckooing to me OP. Could your aunt be rehoused or stay with you for a while?

If this is true, I don't know where to start with the story. Names and addresses of the 2 girls, a written account point by point and report to Childrens Services first thing Monday morning.

Let me wrap my head a round this....2 kids come and go as they please and help themselves. One of them then opens up a conversation with a an elderly lady about masturbation. That's so normal?

What is the connection btween the aunt reporting it and being taken out of her home? As far as I am aware, you cannot be evicted for expressing a concern?

I was a designated CP teacher. You must report this because:

Your aunt is vulnerable as an adult - to being stolen from, to 'false' friendships, to finding herself in a very difficult position where she has been privy to potential sexual abuse of one child by an older child and has kept it a secret and also, by having private conversations in bedrooms, to accusations of abuse herself made by one of these children. They should not be in her house, ever in my opinion.

Both children sound vulnerable themselves. The older one is acting very knowingly and manipulatively and has admitted inappropriate sexual contact with the younger one. In addition she is neglected and not being looked after by the adult responsible for her care. whatever support is already in place is woefully inadequate.

The younger is very vulnerable to all kinds of exploitation by the older child and may well have been sexually abused.

I think you should ring the local authority 24 hr safeguarding line and the NSPCC and report this in terms of concerns about your aunt and then both girls. Do not be fobbed off. Be very clear and specific and give as much detail as you can. This has the potential to be very serious in a number of ways.

Thank you for all of the advice. I WILL do something about it and report it to SS and her school.

It's a very complicated situation and has been for many years. My aunt needs full time care really, but refuses. We've arranged various care packages for her but they break down very quickly. She has lived in her flat for decades and knows all the neighbours. They tend to look out for each other, run errands etc. My aunt has 2 adult neighbours who are essentially her unofficial carers, so her shopping, help her with medication, take her to appointments etc. I have met them and been in touch with them regularly.

In this situation, the 2 young girls came into the flat as the younger girls mother was also there making my aunt some dinner. I asked her what they were doing, she said 'oh just talking'. She wasn't concerned. I spoke to both the girls and and the mother of the younger girl and reminded them the girls shouldn't be there.

My aunt has told me they often come in with one of the adult neighbours who looks after her (one is the younger girls mother). She buys them sweets and snacks and has done for a long time.

I work full time and have 2 young children myself so I do try and get there as much as possible but it's not easy.

I do believe this is all true and I am concerned about my aunt as well as the girls. It's just very complicated and if things escalate my aunt may be forced to move into a home if her neighbours stop supporting her. Which to be honest might be the best outcome for her.

How are things going @Tammy99 ?