Should I report this child welfare concern?

[Tammy99]

I’m concerned about a young girl but I don’t know what to do, would appreciate advice on who to speak with. Sorry if this is in the wrong place.

Today I visited an elderly & vulnerable Aunt who lives an hours drive from me. She lives in high rise council housing, and has neighbours pop in 3 times a day to check on her. Just after I got there, 2 girls (age 10 & 13) came in the flat and went into the bedroom to talk to my Aunt. The Bedroom door was closed and she called out to me they were having a private conversation.

After 5 mins, the 2 girls went into the kitchen, helped themselves to sweets from the cupboard and left. They both live in the block but are unrelated.

My aunt tells me that the 13 year old is vulnerable, an orphan who lives with her Aunt, a latchkey child (I didn’t know what that was) since she was a youngster. She has been left to fend for herself most of the day for many years. She is very thin and already being looked after by a doctor. She has been attending school throughout lockdown as is classed as vulnerable / special needs.

My aunt tells me that the older girl had confessed to teaching the younger girl how to masturbate. She showed me a letter from the older girl saying she was sorry for being bad and she won’t do it again. The girls visit my aunt regularly, and are given money and sweets. She also said that the girl steals money from her if it’s left on the table.

Apparently the girls aunt has little interest in her. My Aunt is worried she’ll soon turn to drugs and fall in with the wrong crowd, becoming vulnerable to abuse. She looks very young, I thought she was 9 or 10 and was shocked to hear she was 13.

My aunt doesn’t want to report her to social services in case she gets removed from her home and taken into care or a home. I told her to speak with the school and let the professionals deal with it but the problem is my aunt has poor communication and speech, and would find it very hard to explain what had happened.

This has played on my mind all day and I’m sorry I have no experience of child welfare, who to speak to, how the system works etc

From another angle, I am also concerned that this young girl in a few years will be an older teenager, streetwise, still steeling from my aunt and taking advantage of her generosity, potentially with more sinister motives. Any intervention now could help stop this spiral?

I don’t know any more about the circumstances of how this incident happened, where or when. I do know that the mother of the younger girl is aware, but as far as I know hasn’t done anything about it.

AIBU in wanting to report this incident to the school or social services in the hope they can support her? Or will it do more harm than good?

Advice welcome.

I was prepared to tell you not to report as I've seen what it can do to families and people are often too quick to judge but this is really worrying. For all involved.

Why was it a private conversation? All very weird.

Call children's services and adult services too in case they don't piece it togther.

DONT call NSPCC it's an unnecessary step

Surprised at the number of people suggesting NSPCC. They are extremely busy helping children, young people and parents right now. This is a safeguarding issue that needs to be reported via the correct route. Please don't waste yours or their time with NSPCC

@birthdaybelle because that’s what the NSPCC say they’re there for.

www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/reporting-abuse/report/

I recommended the NSPCC because they helped me when I had a concern (a convicted paedophile in a children’s drama group, sharing a dressing room ). They helped me report it anonymously, sent social services and the police and it was never traced back to me.

They just tell you to tell children's services though - they can't actually do anything. What's the point?

I'm concerned by your naivety OP. In this situation your aunt is very vunerable and could end up being cuckooed by these girls or their associates. I can guarantee children's services are aware of these girls. Report to Adult Services who will liaise with Children's Services as appropriate. The police do welfare checks on vunerable adults and will also contact social services. Personally I would contact them also, so they can speak to your aunt and assertain what is going on.

So many things to be worried about here. I agree this child may already be on social services radar HOWEVER it is common for social workers not to have the full picture and you can help with this. So many children are additionally at risk at the moment, please do call.
I agree with others that most direct and effective step would be to call the local duty social work team (or the MASH), you can do this anonymously. Whatever you report to NSPCC would be passed over but there could be some delay in this. I would go straight to local service.

Child Protection Social Worker here. Reading your post, I would be significantly concerned about this on a number of levels. If these children have been attending school throughout lockdown, it is likely they already have Social Workers and are deemed ‘vulnerable’. I would be concerned about child sexual exploitation (peer on peer), there is an obvious situation whereby they are taking advantage of your relative, where is the carer oversight? Something feels very off here and I would urge you to report it to children’s services (NSPCC pass reports of concerns over to the Local Authority anyway). This needs to be considered carefully by a social worker as there may be a much bigger picture that you don’t know about. Please contact the local authority with urgency.

I would echo what everyone else is saying, report to NSPCC/children’s social care and report to your aunts care team as well. There is a possibility of child sexual exploration for the young people but also grooming of your aunt. This grooming could lead to others accessing your aunts flat and undertaking illegal activities. All three need to be protected

Absolutely yes yes yes

This is serious
This is urgent
Please OP

If your aunt was an uncle ,the advice would be different on here.
I’d be worried about the girls ,your aunt should know better as an adult

I am not UK based so do not know the available support organisations. What is the incident that you don't know where or when it happened?? And that the Mother is aware of? Is it the masturbation or something else?

I understand that your Aunt needs the support of neighbours in the absence of carers. Are the kids being sent to check up on her for a few minutes & see she is ok? Or do they come to hang out & see if there is a few bob & sweets to be had? I would report what is occurring ...it is v worrying that these kids are disclosing this sort of information to an adult neighbour, how is that appropriate? Does your Aunt see herself as a friend or confidante to them? Your Aunt needs a level of protection put in place here for herself, they are in her cupboards & taking money.. she is worried that they'll fall in with the wrong crowd. Is your Aunt capable of telling the wrong crowd to leave her home if they show up? Or refusing money if asked? Also...they could be telling other people that your Aunt has discussions about sex with them...& paint things in a very different light. Your elderly & vulnerable relative needs protection here too. I know she lives a bit away but is it possible to make your presence felt a bit more over the ndxt few wks & try & learn some more & see what action is appropriate. I do feel though you need to contact the appropriate services. First thing Monday morning ...

Urgent contact with the local authority child and family services and adult services. please op.

* If your aunt was an uncle ,the advice would be different on here.*

Don’t derail
This is too serious

Not derailing at all .
I was trying to be delicate with what I was trying to say

Did you report it OP?

The young girl and your elderly aunt are both vulnerable and could benefit from professional support. Did you contact anybody?

The older girls may well fall into drugs and if she does, chances are they'll get sold from your aunts flat.
Can this girls story be verified, does yout aunt know her aunt?
Is the younger girl anything to do with the neighbours that call in?

Yes, things are very wrong here, and you should report all these issues with the two girls. It is understandable that your elderly Aunt, will not wan't any trouble with all this going on, but she needs protecting herself, as she won't be able to deal with something like this herself.

Call the council/social services. If they go into care it might actually be better for them.

The council will not disclose to the family that it's you who phoned.

My main worry would be my vulnerable Aunt being accused of all sorts.
A very dangerous situation for all.
These two girls could accuse her of anything.

Christ, this isn't going to look good on your aunt at all.

She's having private conversations with 2 children in her locked bedroom, about masturbation and the kid has even given her a letter about it to keep???

Yes, report immediately. This is all kinds of inappropriate.

You need to call the Local Authority Social Services NOW! Not tomorrow, NOW!