To find toddler REALLY hard work sometimes

[SquidwardTortellini95]

Hi all. I'm a mum to a gorgeous 17 month old DD. She is gorgeous, cheeky, wonderful, and a delight most of the time. Most...

But recently, I think partly due to lockdown and partly due to her just getting closer to the dreaded terrible twos, I've started to find her quite hard work and have found myself getting quite irritated with her at times

She is just starting to throw tantrums and perfect her outraged shriek , and although most of the time she is lovely, when she is throwing a tantrum or has been whinging all day, or is refusing to go to sleep, I can feel myself getting quite cross, to the point where I've had to put her down in her cot and walk away from her to take a few deep breaths.

I know walking away is the right thing to do, but I still feel so guilty for getting so angry. When I feel that anger building I sometimes feel like I could quite easily hit her... I never have and I wouldn't allow myself to get to that point (as soon as that thought comes into my head I put her down and walk away), but again I feel so guilty for that thought even entering my head. But sometimes I'm just like GGGRRR!

It has definitely gotten worse since lockdown. I have a DP who is very helpful when he is home, but he is an essential worker so still working, so it's just me and DD at home 95% of the time.

Has anyone else felt this way? I'm a FTM and it seems like mums are painted as always being smiley and happy and having endless patience.. and I often don't feel that way Of course love DD with everything in me and would die for her, but I would be lying if I said I always enjoyed her But then I feel like a terrible mum for thinking that!

I am exactly the same. My son is 23 months and well and truly hitting the terrible twos!

He’s awesome but my god can he get on my last nerve at times!

You are doing a wonderful job and its completely normal to feel Like you do x

@MummyGoingItAlone, thank you so much.

Ours is 14 years old now but potty training nearly broke me. I used to get so upset with him. He was nearly 5 when he finally decided to cooperate. He was an angel otherwise. We do get tested but they can be very unreasonable little people.

You’re not alone. The whole facade that motherhood is 24/7 joy is bullshit.

You’re doing the right thing. If you feel stressed walk away. Don’t feel guilty for having feelings

My DD is 3. The threenager is real.

I adore her. But some days I would gladly sell her to the circus. She drives me crazy. They can be such testing little people.

Parenting is hard.

I personally love the toddler stage but I found the baby stage with both of mine overwhelming and I struggled to get through the first year. We all find things hard at different stages but try to remember that it is just a stage, it will pass.

It’s the worst phase imo. There is a reason they are so cute - otherwise they’d all be sold on eBay handed to grandparents.

I am on my third toddler and it’s he’s the easiest of the three, but I’m bored of the cuteness now and lockdown is driving us mad.

It gets easier once they hit 3. 18 months is the worst imo, they won’t even watch tv for long.

Definitely not alone in feeling like this! Absolutely adore the bones of my DS but he can test every shred of my patience. Especially when he does the sack of potatoes slump when he doesn’t want to do something. Drives me up the wall. Lockdown is not a normal time, you are doing a fab job and walking away for a few moments to gather yourself is a really good call

Totally agree with @peajotter - they have to be cute otherwise who on earth would want one? DS is only 10 months so we have a way to go but the constant moving and noise and demands for attention and whining if he doesn't get his way or I remove whatever unsuitable item he's trying to grab is exhausting.

My 17 month old can be an absolute dickhead . Luckily as I have a 6 year old and a 4 year old too I know that this phase doesn’t last forever and they do become more rational...

Just adding to the reassurance on here. Toddlers are the hardest imo. I found babies up to 18 months fine on the whole, but 18 months to age 3 so hard. The tantrums! The destruction! The utter lack of reason and rational thought! Argh! DD2 is 4 now, so emerging from this stage, thank God.

You are allowed to not enjoy all of motherhood - especially under lockdown where the opportunities to get out and ease things with the usual distractions are so limited. You're doing the right thing to go out of the room to compose yourself when she's being very trying.

Honestly I much prefer my kids now they're older. Toddlerhood is a very trying time imo.

Mines 2.5. Being locked up in a tiny bungalow due to shielding has been trying at times.

I have a 20 month old son and he is such a little bugger!!! I have two older girls and they were lovely toddlers (although they were close together). He will climb everything and anything and shout no at me all the time! He eats the cat food and draws on the walls etc. lockdown is definitely making it worse as if the girls were at school we would be doing lots outside together (swimming, playgroups, walks etc) but he is either stuck at home or confined to the buggy as I need to keep up with a 5 and 6 year old.

You are doing absolutely the right thing walking away when you feel angry, you are a great mum for doing this and not taking it out on her. This is strange for all of us

My son is 15 months and oooooooof it’s hard. Generally he’s lovely but he’s started to tantrum like a mofo and he’s teething and sometimes I just want to run away. I just run to the fridge instead. It’s just so intense as he can’t go to childminder or grandparents at the moment, so I’m looking forward to when he can... !

DS was a pretty easy toddler, all told. So we decided to have another. DD was a demon child, loved to destroy the house, empty cabinets and drawers, etc.

She's going to a very fine uni this fall and has turned into a lovely young woman.

What you're going through is perfectly normal. Walking away when you need a bit of space is normal and fine.

I said YABU because I have a toddler 23 months it’s deffo more then sometimes. They are made super cute for there own survival 😂😂 you are doing a great job x

I have a wild 2 year old,nearly 3. Since lockdown she's turned up the naughtiness and I do the same with putting her in the cot and calming down (for both of us) for a few minutes. I keep telling myself it's not forever and her whole world has turned upside down with no nursery,parks or family but it is extremely difficult to keep the patience going strong. I've never met a mum who is perfect or has it together 24/7 that's just weird lol. Your doing great, reward yourself with a gin and tonic after the bedtime countdown- from a fellow terrorised mum! X

Don't worry op, we all feel like this but we don't talk about it loudly in the streets because the next generation would hear and wouldn't have any kids!

15 month old DS and the whining and tears are just starting, seems to get annoyed and frustrated over small things but then so happy and loving, melts my heart when he gives hugs but definitely times I've had to put him in his cot and walk away to regroup!

Toddlers are hard work at the best of times and you've probably got teething still too. Once they're 4/5 its much better and you can have conversations etc, its just endurance up until it gets better.

Toddlers can be complete dicks at times, fact.

Please don't feel bad because she made you feel angry! They're experts at that.

However it gets SO much better, mine is five now and the best thing ever!

OP is your toddler bored? Are you getting out enough, doing things together, engaging her in activities etc?

I have two toddlers, 16m and 2.5yr and while it's exhausting. I've never put them in their cots and walked away for a breather 🤷🏼‍♀️

It’s so hard isn’t it, I have a 26 month old and we already Know how quickly time passes (can you believe our toddlers used to be newborns), and we know that they get bigger and grow up and that they’re delightful now with their funny speech and mannerisms and innocent-ness... this feeling that we should cherish every damned second and yet getting frustrated with the repetitiveness and tantrums. Argh!
Since becoming a parent my heart just breaks at stories like Rhys (Little Boy Blue) and Madeleine McCann and I try to remember how lucky I am and how I have to cherish my boy, but then I make his dinner and it goes straight on the Floor and I feel angry... such a conflict.

I have the same thoughts sometimes OP.

Our 10mth old is walking, climbing, stronger than me, hates sleep, is utterly determined and totally relentless.

Our older DD was not like this and I am finding it hard this time round. I find myself shouting at them both even though the older one is a complete angel.

It’s really hard and lockdown amplifies everything.