Not to send y10 DD to school

[TheoriginalLEM]

If she goes back she will need to go by bus.

She says she doesn't feel safe.

She is working really hard on home schooling

She is very anxious child anyway and is anxious about school although felt better after video explained social distancing.

I'm not comfortable with her getting bus - this will be public bus not school bus at peak time in morning.

Two days a week in school- half days following homeschooling timetable rather than actual lessons, so nine kids in a room potentially working on different subjects, not actual lessons.

I am wary of feeding into her anxiety and her missing teaching?

Genuinely don't know what to do - she breaks down every time school is mentioned. She is normally an enthusiastic student but is very much a loner so happy at home.

Up until covid, loved schools and her teachers.

If it wasn't for the bus I'd make her go

I absolutely wouldn’t be encouraging her to travel by bus.

No, i am not happy about it.i think it's going to have to be a no.

She sounds similar to me as a teen. I wouldn't send her. If she is working hard at home, what is the point. Keep her safe and emotionally happy at home. I'm in my 30s and would be scared to go on a bus too atm.

At our school we want the students who aren't managing at home to come in. We are very happy for those who are doing ok at home to stay there!

My dd teaches that age. All they are doing is past papers. That can be done at home.

YANBU at all, especially if she’s working and coping well at home. Responsible decision, OP.

I have a year 10, so I understand the issues that year group are facing. If the school provision is going to be no different to what she'd be doing at home, I'd let her stay at home. She'll probably learn more if she's less stressed.

My dd will go in her place!

Our school has offered nothing- take the opportunity and wear a mask, wash your hands when you get to school.

The risk is VERY low.

The risk may be low but as it is causing her such anxiety and they will not be doing live classes I don't think its necessary to make her go. Is she meeting up with friends outside of school? It's not good for her to be socially isolated.
She will eventually have to face taking the bus again. Talk to her school, I'm sure she eont be the only one not going back this side of summer.

Meeting friends outside school but not going to school

Hope she socially distances when she meets her friends

Is there absolutely no way that you can take her and avoid the need to travel on public transport?

Nope same for me. My Y10 DD is perfectly happy at home and her grades have even improved. Chatted to her teacher who said she can continue with home schooling for the last 4 weeks of school.

Stop feeding into her anxiety! Send her off with a cheery wave and tell her to have a nice day. We have to get back to some normality.

Lead by example, go to school with her and show her what to do to be as safe as possible.

You are reinforcing her anxiety by not exploring the possibility of going.

Will the risk be smaller in September or her anxiety higher?

I understand her worry but it is a minimal risk

I teach in a secondary school. My school are just reviewing prior learning so not actually covering anything new. If she is working hard and keeping herself busy then I don't see any issue with keeping her at home.

Does she normally travel on a public bus and not school transport?

If she is normally on a school bus because she meets the criteria of being in her catchment school and the required distance for travel, ask the school if they can liaise with the local authority school transport and arrange a taxi. This is how my daughter is getting to school when dh and I (both key-workers) are working the same day.

If she is normally on public transport, while I think feeding into her anxieties isn't great, I understand your reluctance as you cannot control the actions of others and your dd may not feel able to assert herself confidently. Speak with her teachers and find out how her studies really are going before writing off school.

Don't feed into her anxiety. The longer she's out of school, the harder it will be for her to go back.

She should go to school.

Wow no new work until September then? There is still over a month until the end of term!

Am I alone on feeling concerned for our children?

It doesn't seem that there's anything to be gained by going to school: public transport is risky, it's only part time, they're only following the home learning timetable.

If your dd is happy at home, enjoying her learning and working hard then she might as well at continue at home.

At the moment, while schools can't accommodate all pupils, the priority needs to be those children who aren't willing or able to engage in home learning or whose mental health is suffering during school closures.

Buses are empty. Stop pushing your anxiety onto her.

My year 10 daughter isn't going for exactly the same reason. For the sake of 2 half days for 4 or 5 weeks then I'd rather put her safety first.

My y10 ds is staying home. His younger sister is shielding so can't go back, and it seems nonsensical to send him. We've been shielding as a family as DD (11) has some learning difficulties and there's no way we could manage to distance from her within the home (which is what's recommended for shielding people living with others.)

He's anxious about the possibility of brining it home to her and feeling responsible for that.

I wish he could go. In some ways he's much happier because he struggles with school a lot but I really feel he could do with some input into his life other than us at the moment. Being in a group of ten would suit him so much better than normal classes.

We can see that the school is working so hard to make things safe. They've measured every classroom and indoor space to determine how many people can be in it, established a one way system and they will be taking temperatures on arrival etc. If they could put him in a group of others with vulnerable family members so he could feel they were all taking it seriously I think he'd feel better about it but that's a massive ask.

We're in Wales so it might be different, but they've made it very clear that it's parental choice and the focus is still on home learning with school being for wellbeing.

@chickedeee where did OP say her child was meeting friends??

OP if she's uncomfortable and it's causing her anxiety then I wouldn't send her. My y10 is looking forward to going back but he is happy to do so and doesn't need to use public transport.

I'm a firm believer in letting your children know they're feelings are valid and at that age I think they can make their own decisions with certain things and this is one of them

I think as they are only following the home learning time table then don't force her to go.

Our school is actually teaching lessons that would be different. But as she won't gain anything from being there let her stay at home for now.

If she needs to get to school by public transport, maybe you could slowly get her used to it again over the summer. So shes more confident and ready to go back in September.

no my yr10 dd isn't going back either due to having to get two buses both of which are only once an hour , and due to the local buses only allowing a limited number of people on ,or walk an hour either way , school has said that there is no new learning ,it will just be doing the online work that has been set