Frances
Quite frankly, I'm shocked at some of the responses you've received - I had thought in 2020 we had moved past wife-shaming.
(And for balance, my response would be the same if a man had posted this about his female partner)
While I can understand one half of a couple being a little upset if their partner had watched something alone, that they usually watch together, it's not a big deal. Your partner behaved like a spoiled brat, end of.
Lockdown has been tough for everyone, and it may be that his reaction was enhanced by the stress of the covid situation and tension at being confined. If that's the case, he should still recognise it and apologise.
As for you, please don't apologise any more - once was enough. You also don't need to justify your choice to watch the programme to anyone on here.
I don't feel that any of us really have enough information to judge conclusively whether you're in an abusive relationship or not. But you are, clearly deeply unhappy with your relationship and lockdown will have only emphasised the reasons why. So, you ought to be receiving sympathy for your situation and advice on how to cope until you can find a way to resolve your marriage- either to heal it (if this is what you want and if it is possible) or to move on to a new phase of your life.
We all know how difficult break ups can be and it can be scary working out how to end things in such a way as to ensure your safety (as in, having a home of your own) and he'll have the same considerations. I hope that if you take this route you receive support from the community here.
Given the precariousness of your situation, I would advise you ensure you have plans in place for yourself before you initiate proceedings. Speak with a solicitor about what you might be entitled to from any shared property and line up whatever you need to ensure your independence. This will give you the confidence and strength that you need.
On the subject of abuse:
There are certainly a few things in your posts that raise flags and I do think you should consider whether you've found yourself in a controlling relationship.
You sound isolated, and your posts simply that this is not the first unreasonable blow up you've been on the receiving end of. Additionally, you mentioned his ongoing friendship with a previous FWB...I don't know if you've ever explained to him that his friendship with her makes you uncomfortable, but if so then his continued friendship suggests a lack of respect for you. If you haven't discussed it with him, then you should - calmly and in a non-accusatory way and at a time when you can both be rational about it.
Take a look at the Women's Aid and Refuge websites and do some research to see if you are subject to coercive behaviour. If so, then trust that there is a way out and you can find peace and security. There are people and organisations who can help you with everything.
If you are in an abusive relationship, then your self esteem is likely to be at rock bottom and it may feel impossible to escape; you might be dealing with feelings of failure, guilt and shame. Frances, you have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about and you are not a failure. You will get out of it and you will change your life for the better!
To that person who suggested she should just do something about it and stop playing the victim - all very admirable I'm sure but this is an uneducated response. The consequences of abuse leave a person unable to (or to feel / believe themselves) unable to do this. It's a very frightening situation to be in and many abused people will be just as frightened of taking action than not, if not more so. Please also take a look at charities that assist those in this situation- both men and women - to improve your understanding.
It's also fairly shocking that you've received replies suggesting your behaviour is unreasonable based on the fact you battle with depression and suggestions that you seek mental health support and treatment to, in effect, make you a better partner in your tv choices, is unbelievable.
Understanding of the emotional strain both you and your other half are under is important, give and take is necessary. But you don't deserve to be spoken to like this, and you're not in the wrong for struggling with it.
You don't come across as someone who is demanding of their partner and monitors their movements etc, though I understand why some people have suggested you might need to check your own behaviour. Honestly, we don't have enough information to go on, however your posts do seem to imply that you capitulate to him a lot which would suggest that your behaviour to him is not unreasonable.
I'll also acknowledge that in temper we are all capable of saying and doing unpleasant things and that a) you might also have done so in the past and b) angry meaningless arguments at the end of 10+weeks of lockdown and financial uncertainty don't necessarily make for an abusive relationship.
Ultimately, however, it comes down to the fact you are unhappy in the relationship and unhappy with the way you are treated. I'd have suggested ways to mend your relationship, such as couples counselling, except that it sounds as if you have already reached the point of no return.
In which case, gather support from friends and family, take advice and look to the practical steps which will help you leave. It will at times, feel overwhelming but there is always a solution to the problems you encounter, even if you haven't seen it yet.
Take your time, keep your chin up and remember that you are strong enough to see this through.
And don't let anyone, ever, make you feel like a bad person for watching a tv programme or film, for having depression or for overhearing a group of friends chat in close confines to you.
Best of luck!