DS coming downstairs on his own?

[chihuahualady]

Not really an aibu but interested in what other parents think.

DS 3 has been coming downstairs on his for the past two weeks and putting the tele on usually helps him self to a piece of fruit as well.He comes down about 6:30 me and OH and DD usually wake up around 8-:8:30.

I'm fine with it but just wondering what other parents do, would you wake up with him and go down? I'm just no good when I'm tired so that extra 2 hours is needed.

[quote MovinOnUp]@Rainycloudyday Doesn't she already have stair gates though and he can open them? (I may have misread that though)[/quote]
Quite possibly, hence it probably needs to be a combination of actions. It’s definitely been mentioned that some children can get though stair gates and if he’s a climber I’d be worried about him trying to go over the top and falling down the flight of stairs. Anyway, that’s one of a number of ideas mentioned so hopefully something will work for the Op.

I can't think of anything other than the gro-clock and maybe leaving a tablet to watch cartoons on in his room if he wakes before the clock turns blue.
Maybe setting an alarm for 7 a.m OP?
Or a more robust stair gate across his door?

Get up with your kid. You can't leave a 3 year old on his own. One of the other school mum's would boast how she would do this, one day at 4 he came in screaming - he'd run himself a boiling hot bath at 7am because he'd covered himself in sudocrem and"wanted to wash it off".

or she could just get up with him like any normal parent would
OP how would you feel if he fell down the stairs, got out of the house onto a road , choked on a banana??
all because you couldn't be arsed to get up and parent him

OP could also speak to him about it? At 3, while they're obviously a bit daft, they can understand basic things such as "don't go downstairs".
In the same way you teach them to give you a shout if they have a poo so you can wipe their bum or alert you that they need the potty when they're a bit younger and still learning.
My DS (3) knows he can't go downstairs on his own in the mornings. He knows he isn't supposed to wander around. So he doesn't. He stays in his room (and causes chaos tbf) or comes in our room and sings/watches TV/tickles us etc.

@BlingLoving unnecessarily hysterical?
Not in my book, who leaves a 3 year old to roam the house because they're too lazy to get up?
6.30 starts are part and parcel of having a 3 year old? Take it in turns to lie in if you're that bloody tired.
If I knew someone was doing this I'd report, no doubt about it, it's disgraceful.

Why don't you just get up when he gets up?

I would not feel safe allowing this from a 3 year old. Too many risks and too long alone. I would be telling him t stay in his room a bit, or getting up with him tbh.

I don't think OP is lazy. I think she's exhausted and things have been fine so far but she's questioning herself and that's fine. In my experience, with 3 children, it's the ones who are sensible that catch you out. You don't expect them to suddenly bolt into the road, climb the bookcase, ride a cardboard box down the stairs etc. You're on guard with the pesky ones, it's the quiet ones that catch you out!

I'm a pretty laid back parent, but this doesn't sit comfortably with me at all. 3 is much too young. Anything could happen. Especially as he is eating.

@MovinOnUp

I realise there are a LOT of people saying this isn't on....But how exactly is she supposed to avoid this if he is simply getting up and taking himself downstairs without waking her?

Lock on the outside of his door? That's a fire risk.
Set an alarm for 5 a.m each morning and watch the door just in case he wakes up and heads downstairs? That's a bit excessive no?

Those who are frothing especially, What are your suggestions to help rather than just calling someone a shit Mum?

Sleep deprivation is why my DS2 ended up with a TV/DVD in his room. It was on a timer plug and had no aerial so he could only watch DVDs from his room. He wakes around 5.15am. He amuses himself with a toy or book until 5.45/6ish. Then the timer plug allowed him to turn on the tv and play the DVD from 5.30. I'd leave him a water bottle on his drawers when I went up to bed.

Not a chance would I have accepted him wandering downstairs. Even if you take out the risk of choking (which is high if they have free access to the kitchen) I wouldn't want a small child having free access to the TV. God knows what they'd end up watching, same with internet access on a tablet.

We put a small hook and eye lock on the kitchen and living room so if he did ignore the explanation that he needed to stay upstairs he couldn't access the kitchen or livingroom.

This actually makes me feel fearful, I have a 2.5 year old and cannot imagine in 6 months time leaving him to get up on his own! Someone really needs to start getting up with him. What if he unlocks the door, uses a knife, even just climb chairs and falls etc I know he can do all these things through the day but at least you’re there to quickly sort it rather than possibly realising he’s missing 2 hours later when you get up!

I do find the hysterics about children eating a banana alone rather over the top. How many children die through silent choking each year? Theoretically possible yes - likely no!

How old is your DD that she’s going to bed at 1am?!
You haven’t tried hard enough to get up. I can’t go to sleep until almost 1, I’m still up with my kids at 6, knackered.

I do find the hysterics about children eating a banana alone rather over the top. How many children die through silent choking each year?

Common sense dictates less deaths or harm will come to a 3 year olds if they are supervised though.

For your point to hold weight you need to pit it against 'how many children don't die of choking each year, because their parent/caregiver was there to resolve the situation'

And yes, I know there are cases of children who choke to death in the presence of an adult, but that's not what we are talking about here.

I don't think OP is lazy. I think she's exhausted

We are all exhausted. Lazy is prioritising that over the child.

No way, 3 is far too young. I assume he’s climbing on furniture too if he’s getting his juice from the fridge.

They answers on here are often on the side of extreme caution - especially the one above where someone said they have started letting their 10 year old go downstairs in the morning alone.

I don't think OP is lazy. I think she's exhausted

And there are ways of dealing with that without allowing a young child to get up to all sorts without any adult supervision. Just no excuse

Sorry, but no! My ds1 has always been an early riser. He's 5 1/2 and very sensible but i'd still not let him do this. They can come up with the silliest ideas. If you're finding the sleep hard, maybe take your duvet downstairs and sit with him and watch the tv?

Goodness. My DS , at that age ( and younger ) used to go downstairs, I did go with him , put CBBC on , give him some squash and a couple of custard creams , then go back upstairs
We all survived

@Doilooklikeatourist in the 80s I used to go sit in the boot if there were too many people in the car, or in the footwell. We all survived that too. Doesn't make it a good idea.

3 is far to young. Cant you put a tv in his bedroom. Or have you an ipad/tablet he can use

@Doilooklikeatourist exactly you went down with him!
It's not the going downstairs and eating it's the doing it alone!