DS coming downstairs on his own?

[chihuahualady]

Not really an aibu but interested in what other parents think.

DS 3 has been coming downstairs on his for the past two weeks and putting the tele on usually helps him self to a piece of fruit as well.He comes down about 6:30 me and OH and DD usually wake up around 8-:8:30.

I'm fine with it but just wondering what other parents do, would you wake up with him and go down? I'm just no good when I'm tired so that extra 2 hours is needed.

Way too young & I'm pretty sure it would be deemed negligent if SS git wind of it. Anything could happen

DD is nearly 5, I suffer from insomnia and she's up with the birds.

When she gets up she goes downstairs to the snack cupboard, gets her drink from the fridge, comes back up with her iPad and gets in bed with me.
She has her snack, drink and plays quietly while I doze next to her with one ear open.

Can you not arrange something like that? Put the drink, snack and iPad next to his bed and tell him to come into you?

Put something really noisy (bells?) on his door so you hear him opening it?

Set an alarm for the rough time he wakes up and bring him straight into you?

Get a lock for the downstairs doors so he can't open any of them?

It's really not on having a 3yo just toddling around by himself without an adult supervising. Too much to go wrong.
Would you ever forgive yourself if he got hurt or, god forbid, worse and you didn't hear him?

While I agree your DS is still too young to be completely unsupervised for that length of time, some of these comments are bizarre!

-10 year olds not allowed to go downstairs in the morning, what?!
-Two hours of tv too much for three years olds - in lockdown?! (AFAIK official guidelines say two hours is the recommended limit for this age group in normal non-pandemic times so hardly crazy)

• three year olds shouldn't turn on a tv? Like pressing the button on the remote will kill them 😂

I despair for the future resilience of children if their parents are so hysterical.

My 3 year old ‘plays quietly’ in his room until one of his older siblings gets up (9 and 11), then they take him downstairs and watch tv until we get up. Kids are normally up around 6am, we’re up at 7ish. I make breakfast when I get up. When the older two were young like this we gave them iPads in bed while we dozed.

Whatever you do,don't follow the advice on putting a stairgate on the stairs. They aren't recommended for over 2s as they can climb over them, and then fall etc. If you want to stop your child wandering, a bolt across the lounge or kitchen door, high up, is much better.

Personally, if the lounge is reasonably childproof, I'd just put it across the kitchen, but I'm not adverse to a 3 year old playing downstairs by himself for a short while in the morning -just not 2 hours, or whilst having breakfast or kitchen access. There is a middle ground here.

I was going downstairs on my own at4+ ... made toast ..got cereal... put the tv on.....

Great reply. Glad to know there are at least a few of us who trust our kids not to be totally stupid.

Holy no!!! A 3 yo by himself for 2 plus hours???

What if he chokes, let's himself out. Opens the door for a stranger, decide to stick something in a power socket. The list is e n d l e ss

I can't believe you prioritise sleeping in over your kid 's safety

Great reply. Glad to know there are at least a few of us who trust our kids not to be totally stupid.

Sorry but 3 year olds by their very nature are totally stupid. Even the sensible ones do daft things, especially unsupervised

@Ladolcevida

Our 3 year old DS always comes for snuggles but then smiling he says he’s going to watch “little bit Paw Patrol” “big bit playing” = watching telly. He quite happily heads downstairs and knows how to use the remotes. I trust him not to be getting up to mischief. He will sometimes drag a chair to climb up to reach a piece of fruit. He has also been known to open the fridge, open the apple juice and pour himself a drink. Usually he is on his own for no more than 30mns/an hour. Each child is different and you have to use your own instinct. eg I know that our DS would not go searching for keys to get out! It is interesting reading about what others do/think. I take on board what a lot of you have said about the risk of choking if they are left to their own devices...

He might not search for keys but could easily skip and bump his head too quickly to cry out and then be unconscious on the floor for neay an hour.

They're barely more than babies, why can't you just get up with them??

@Ferret27

I was going downstairs on my own at4+ ... made toast ..got cereal... put the tv on.....

And I used to ride in the back of my dad's small van all of us without seatbelts. Luck not judgement

If you're asleep, even with a camera, you'd not hear a child choking. True chokers are pretty much silent. You'd not go out and leave a 3 year old for a couple of hours would you? You're either going to have to get up or put a gate across his bedroom door so he can't get out. Sorry

I have a 3yo and an 8yo
The 3yo still not allowed downstairs without us even though I know once tv is on he will not move.

Don’t know if you still bothering to try explain why it’s ok but just in case you are still reading stop being Crap, selfish And lazy

I wish my ten year-old would do this.

@Ladolcevida

Great reply. Glad to know there are at least a few of us who trust our kids not to be totally stupid.

It’s not about trusting them not to be stupid, it’s about knowing they are 3 and therefore are at much higher risk because they don’t realise how dangerous something is.

Inquisitive and self-sufficient 3-year-olds who’ve happily started going downstairs alone and getting food for themselves are much more likely to decide that they can slice something or butter bread or climb up to reach something out a high cupboard.

Three is too young. 5+ i am happy with this

Our 3 year old knows he is not allowed down on his own

Definitely too young to be unsupervised for that length of time. Setting the house on fire springs to mind - then smoke inhalation would stop you waking up and no noise involved

@Ladolcevida

Great reply. Glad to know there are at least a few of us who trust our kids not to be totally stupid.

I hope your staggering naivete (and that’s being kind) doesn’t come back to haunt you one day.

FGS It's nothing to do with 'trusting' a 3 year year-old.

It's all to do with being a bloody parent and realising that 3 year-olds can't be 'trusted' because they're not old enough to exercise judgement. And could also easily have an accident.

Don't be so damn lazy and get up!

Not that my 3 yr old would go downstairs alone, but I defo think it's too young to be unsupervised just cause they are still at that curious stage and you'd never forgive yourself if something happened. It is tough when they get up so early especially during this time when we're staying up later due to being home. But I think it's best if someone gets up with him. Or does he have a tablet or something that he could may be watch in his room or poss just play in his room for sometime in the morning??

He mustn’t be left unsupervised. If he was left alone for two hours at nursery , what would you say?

Great reply. Glad to know there are at least a few of us who trust our kids not to be totally stupid.

I hope you are not a parent as you don't have the first idea about child development.

No this is unacceptable for a child of this age. It is neglectful and unsafe.
My oldest was always up by 5am (and remains an early riser as a teen), I always got up. Yes you are tired but that’s parenting! 6.30 isn’t especially early.
Perhaps address your own sleep issues in order to be able to parent better.
I know that sounds harsh but your little one needs you to keep him safe at this age.

Re trusting your kids not to be stupid... Even my most sensible dd shoved playdo up her nose and tried to consume a whole box of calpol sachets at 3 years old. She is far from stupid, that's just what 3 year olds do when you let your guard down! She was my first and I am far more vigilant with my subsequent kids

Imagine thinking if your children got hurt in a household accident it was a result of their own stupidity rather than your negligence as their parent.

Teaching resilience and life-skills is one thing, teaching your children that they are responsible for their own wellbeing and safety at a young age when they cannot possibly understand the risks they face is neglect.