DS coming downstairs on his own?

[chihuahualady]

Not really an aibu but interested in what other parents think.

DS 3 has been coming downstairs on his for the past two weeks and putting the tele on usually helps him self to a piece of fruit as well.He comes down about 6:30 me and OH and DD usually wake up around 8-:8:30.

I'm fine with it but just wondering what other parents do, would you wake up with him and go down? I'm just no good when I'm tired so that extra 2 hours is needed.

If he’s happy and content, then I think it’s fine. I’m sure he would let you know if something was wrong -3 year olds do that! Only you know if your child is ok.

Wtf have I just read??
GET UP WITH HIM!
Wouldn't we all have loved to lie in until 8.30!
Mind boggles.

This is unnecessarily hysterical.

When mine were 2/3 we would make them milk and then go back to bed with the door open for half an hour to an hour while they watched TV. I am a light sleeper and it was a small house so I would have heard if they had moved from the sofa. No food and no longer than an hour. Once they didn't need milk straight away and could turn on the TV they went down themselves, this was probably around age 4 but still no food and no longer than an hour. At 7:30 one of us made them breakfast. We have the same routine now they're aged 9 and 10 except they usually make their own breakfast and we do allow ourselves an extra hour in bed at the weekends.

This is absolutely not acceptable; you need to put a stop to it right away. Your camera is absolutely useless.

You either get up with him or stop him getting up (those are your two choices).

To be honest, from your replies, you still seem so blasé about it. Like you’re annoyed you’re now going to have to do something about it because you’ve had to have been told it’s wrong.

I'd hoped this wasn't serious or some kind of reverse but nope, it's true!
Two to two and a half hours alone!!

@chihuahualady

We have two gates but he can open both, I know we can get up with him I just wanted to know other peoples opinions as i did feel ok with it and I have been watching him on the cameras so I haven't felt concerned but of course I have thought about potential dangers.

I'd be absolutely fine with it. He sounds like a very bright and resourceful little chap.

Not for that length of time, no. At that age, DD would go downstairs and put the TV on while we got up, so maybe downstairs for 15 minutes. She was an early riser too, but no way could I sleep until 8.30 knowing she was downstairs alone. She's 5 now and we happily let her downstairs alone but no way at 3.

We started letting our dc come downstairs on their own in the morning when they were 6 and 8. Even then it was only for half an hour or so.

2 hours is a long time for a 3 year old. Our 3 year old recently got out the back door and over the back gate "for a walk" while I was distracted for 5 minutes, I dread to think how far she could have got if I'd had my eye off her for 2 hours!

I think you should probably drag yourself downstairs and snuggle on the sofa with DS. Swap days with your OH.

"I forget she's only 3, she's more of an adult than I am sometimes."

Huh? How can she be more of an adult than an adult? At 3 years old?

Age 3 no way.

At that age we used to go into DD’s room when she woke, give her some books (she loved books) or sometimes a screen and she would stay there for another hour while we dozed for another hour (if the baby didn’t wake us...). She was next door and I’m a super light sleeper so I would know if she left her room. Her room was childproofed.

Wandering around downstairs for 2 hours and eating is a totally different ball game and not safe. I started allowing that around age 7.

To the PP who said their 3 year old was downstairs while they sort laundry - that won’t be for 2 hours, and you are awake so far far more likely to hear if there is a problem.

Our son went downstairs once on his own when he was 3, we didn't hear him. The first we knew was him waking us up to tell us the lady on the phone wants to speak to me.
He had been dialing numbers because he wanted to speak to Nana. Fortunately this lady was only in the next town. What if he had got through to Australia etc.
This was over 30 years ago and we were able to get an alarm on his door so we could stop him.

I'd be putting up a stairgate! How do you know what he's watching on TV? What if he chokes, what if he plays with knives, what if he goes for a wander, what if...…???

I forget she's only 3, she's more of an adult than I am sometimes.

A 3 year old who is 'more of an adult' than an actual adult

I think it depends on the kid, you know what your kid is capable of.

There is a limitation on what a 3 year old can be capable of. Adulting is outwith that.

It's only because of lockdown really we've not had much routine DD has stopped sleeping and has been staying awake until 1.

It's nothing to do with lockdown. It's laziness.

Your routine has only dropped during lockdown because you have allowed it to do so.

@tiredanddangerous

We started letting our dc come downstairs on their own in the morning when they were 6 and 8. Even then it was only for half an hour or so.

Same here with ds who is almost 7. And I am awake upstairs feeding the baby.

I would be worried leaving him alone downstairs if I was asleep. He could get into danger quietly, if hes in danger it doesnt necessarily mean a loud noise would alert you.

OP, I really didn't want to come on here and bash you but this is probably one of the laziest examples of parenting I've ever read on here. He's 3, so what if he's clever and 'able', he's 3. Be the parent !! Get out of bed or go to bed earlier.

My DS was around 4 when he started doing this. We didn't have much of a chance to avoid this since he would get up very quietly and sometimes very early (4am). He didn't enter the kitchen but would play in the living room.

You need the extra 2 hours sleep!? Well dont have 2 kids then!!! This is bordering on neglect! Why not just leave him on his own while you go shopping for 2 hours!? What's the difference!! Disgusting! You should be ashamed if I'm honest!

DS was almost 4 when he started doing this, but for around 30 - 45 minutes. Before that, he used to come in to our room and sit in between us watching the tablet with headphones on. I used to bring up a piece of fruit to bed with me, and he had a water bottle in his room he would bring in with him.

He now enjoys going downstairs (he's 4.5), he watches the tablet at the kitchen table and eats dry cereal and has his water.

I will say he is a very placid, timid and well behaved little boy. He has been able to open the door for around 2 years but is terrified to do so (even with me behind him when we are letting granny in) and we've never had to child proof the house because he just isn't that way inclined.

His sister on the other hand, will be 18 before she can be left unattended. Little daredevil!

So very dependent on your child.

If it makes you feel better OP, you're not alone. DD1 used to do this, also from the age of 3. Would come downstairs early while I was still asleep and put on her favourite DVD.
She never ate anything though, so I'd agree with getting food out of reach. But she happily watched that DVD every goddam morning for about 6 months. She's now a teenager and I wish she'd drag her lazy arse out of bed before me! 🤣
DD2 started doing it when she was 6, and has been the early riser since then.

Sorry but he should not be left unsupervised for this long. He is too young. You should get up with him.

Definitely not ok.

With the new cuddle bubbles, is there someone who could come watch them in the afternoon so you get some sleep? How old is the baby? You feet need to do something about her routine else you'll make yourself ill

Oh, and now it is whilst we dress and shower, and tend to the baby. Not whilst we go back to sleep!