DS coming downstairs on his own?

[chihuahualady]

Not really an aibu but interested in what other parents think.

DS 3 has been coming downstairs on his for the past two weeks and putting the tele on usually helps him self to a piece of fruit as well.He comes down about 6:30 me and OH and DD usually wake up around 8-:8:30.

I'm fine with it but just wondering what other parents do, would you wake up with him and go down? I'm just no good when I'm tired so that extra 2 hours is needed.

[quote chihuahualady]@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland I'm not looking for sympathy it's fine. I agree we need a new stair gate though one which is more complicated.

We definitely do not laze it up in bed! I don't expect OH to get up after having 3 hours sleep.Absolutely ridiculous I've been a mum for 4 years 2 kids you think I'm not used to not sleeping. DS sleeping pattern has changed he has started getting up earlier and we don't hear him going down and as I said he doesn't come into our room and get into bed anymore. He grabs his juice and tablet and will sit on the sofa and watch his programmes.

@summerfruitssquash she is 1 nearly 2 she has stopped napping throughout the day too and is refusing to go down at night.
[/quote]
Why is your DH not getting to sleep until 3 OP?

If he's working shifts then you need to get up with DS and then when DH gets up after his sleep from work you get a nap if you need to. That's how it works.

I'm not surprised he's "very self sufficient " tbh, personally I would go to bed earlier or just get up with him and be tired! Which is what I do with my baby who can only roll so far but I still couldn't sleep knowing he's awake. I'm a nurse, I've seen some horrendous things so it comes from a place of care. Please just get up with him.

@chihuahualady you don't need to STOP him, you need to get out of bed and go with him and look after him! Early mornings are part and parcel of parenting, his safety is surely more important than you lazing in bed for two hours

12 year olds can be sent home from school to an empty house if school closes for any reason. Primary school children have to be collected or know that someone is home. So 12 year olds and up definitely should know how to take care of themselves when adults are not about.

I once nearly choked on a banana. I was 14. Went blue and everything. Luckily my friends were around and managed to get the banana out. There is no age when people are safe from choking.

I’ve got an almost 8 and 12 year old and I’d not leave them downstairs whilst I was in bed.

Fucking hell that's ridiculous. 12 years old!?! I missed that little gem. You're failing your 12 year old if you can't trust them to watch tv without you for a couple of hours. Id go so far as to say shit parenting. That's disgraceful.

And yes people can choke at any age. Are you going to hang around your kids when they're 21, 35, 50 to make sure they don't choke? Surely there has to come an age when you can trust another person to eat safely?

Not at 3 before all your hard of thinking jump on it. But seriously, 12 years old not being allowed downstairs. Id say having that level of control over your children is not healthy.

Eeek I think this is okay but not at 3. My eldest started doing this about 5ish if that helps.

When I was 8 and maybe ven at 7 we were out and about playing in the cul de sac for hours on end no parents on sight watching us, my mum knew where we were and would come find us for dinner time. If one of us fell over we would run and get a parent or help them hobble back and they would patch the kid up with a plaster.

If we all went to the park just behind my parents house I always had to tell my mum so she knew where to look for me.

We even walked to school occasionally on our own obv big sister was older and walked with us.
those were the days

cyclingmad so was I but this DC is 3 and being left on there own for over 2hrs. Very different from being 7 or 8

@cyclingmad

When I was 8 and maybe ven at 7 we were out and about playing in the cul de sac for hours on end no parents on sight watching us, my mum knew where we were and would come find us for dinner time. If one of us fell over we would run and get a parent or help them hobble back and they would patch the kid up with a plaster.

If we all went to the park just behind my parents house I always had to tell my mum so she knew where to look for me.

We even walked to school occasionally on our own obv big sister was older and walked with us.
those were the days

Not comparable to a 3 yo who has learnt to fund his own food because he's alone for 2.5 hours every day. If op was at the shops or work for this gap would it be OK?

My usually late sleeping in dd 1 aged 3 woke before me once and instead of coming in to my room filled the bath and threw a load of toilet paper and shampoo in... She was making soup apparently.... That was the day I put the stairgate on her room doorway, it had been at the top of the stairs!

Op you shouldnt have had children if you are physically unable to get up in the mornings. Sorry but you and your partner are bloody lazy. Get your ass out of bed, take it in turns or just have a nap in the afternoon. My son is nearly three and I cannot ever imagine letting him go downstairs and have two hours completely unsupervised whilst I'm sleeping. Anything could happen.

Sleeping till half 8??? How on earth did you manage when he was a newborn and up every couple of hours for a feed?

@cyclingmad - I bet that there loads of child deaths and injuries that Social Services "missed" in those days.
3 and 8 year olds are massively different. 8/9 year olds walk to the shops with siblings and to school or the park here.

There's more cars on the road if a 3yo opened the front door and went for a walk and neighbours tend to know each other less so if I saw a strange 3yo wandering outside near my home then I wouldn't know where to drop him back. More kids have allergies so a possibility of poisoning themselves and more electronics in the house could increase the fire or injury risk. For example I have a kettle that you don't have to lift up and pour in a cup- It automatically dispenses a mug full.

The hysteria on here is batshit.

I agree we need a new stair gate though one which is more complicated.

Only if you are absolutely sure he won't climb over it otherwise it is a bigger risk (increased rick of serious injury). It's why stair gates are only advised until 2 years old.

@cyclingmad This thread is not discussing a 7 or 8 y.o it is a 3 y.o.
I don't know why you are bringing your experience as an 8 y.o it is not even remotely related.

@EmeraldShamrock I think it's because pp's have said they wouldn't even allow their 8 or 10 year olds downstairs for a while when they were asleep. Imagine the response is to them rather than about a 3 yo

I’m still a little concerned that OP hasn’t just held her hands up and gone “Shit, I’m sorry. I’ve had this terribly wrong and I’ll put it right straight away.”

3 is quite young but he seems quite sensible. He's obviously really independent- which is good. However, I would be a bit nervous about this. Anything could happen. I suggest you get up a bit earlier.

Too young to be unsupervised for that length of time. My 7 year old sometimes gets up and goes downstairs, but this has only happened in the last year or so and he is quite sensible. Occasionally, our four year old joins him, but we are nearly always awake and half listening out, and he has his older sibling to look out for him. I usually get up within fifteen or twenty minutes of my younger one joining him, just to be on the safe side.

Is this a joke? Surely no parent thinks this is right! Can you imagine a nursery saying sorry we left your child to fend for himself for 2 hours sorry he died.
If you can’t stop him doing something at the age of 3 then there’s no hope for you. Sorry to sound harsh but step up before there’s an accident.

My 4 1/2 year old has started doing this over the last month. He’s always been an early riser and all he wants it to watch Pokemon. He doesn’t eat though that would make me very nervous. He pretty much comes down picks up the remote and doesn’t move until one of us joins him.

Not sure about a child that young being allowed downstairs alone tbh but the day I felt my dc were old and sensible enough to come down before us was glorious! They were about 5 & 7 I think.

No way would I let my 3 year old be on his own for 2 hours. We still have our stair gate at the top of the stairs, he still comes through to us around 6:30

Sorry OP, he is a bit too young to be on his own for so long. I used to give Dd6 a tablet or my phone to watch in bed next to me if i needed more sleep. Its only been the past 6 months that she will sometimes go downstairs herself and get some cereal.

How about putting a camera in the living room so you can have the screen next to your bed if he’s pretty trustworthy or go down with him and then snooze on the sofa having a cuddle so you know he’s there. I never sleep as deeply with my little one around so I can close my eyes and doze but still be aware of what she is saying to me and up to.