DS coming downstairs on his own?

[chihuahualady]

Not really an aibu but interested in what other parents think.

DS 3 has been coming downstairs on his for the past two weeks and putting the tele on usually helps him self to a piece of fruit as well.He comes down about 6:30 me and OH and DD usually wake up around 8-:8:30.

I'm fine with it but just wondering what other parents do, would you wake up with him and go down? I'm just no good when I'm tired so that extra 2 hours is needed.

I’m normally a grab the popcorn and observe type, but this concerns me.

I have a 3 year old and a 4 year old plus older and I wouldn’t allow the smalls to be downstairs unaccompanied.

I understand the routine being out of sync but you need to reset yourself. A few days of being up early and snuggling with him on the sofa and being tired throughout the day should help reset you to going to bed earlier.

I’d rather be tired for a few days and be with my child, than spend the rest of my days feeling guilt if anything happened.

Children as we all know are impulsive and keep us second guessing them. He may be brilliant now as amusing himself, but what if curiosity got the better of him and something went wrong.

I hope you find a happy solution

I would say 15 mins is fine, two hours definitely not! That’s also a lot of tv time! Does he get more tv later in the day? I would say he can play in his room when he first wakes up and then 7am come get you.

It’s obvious what you need to do here. He’s too young to be left alone. You need to change your day around and I am afraid that means getting up at 6.30. You will be very tired the first day but then you will be tired earlier. It will get easier after just a few days. Going to bed at 2am is ridiculous when you have a small child.

You shouldn't leave a child unsupervised for any length of time until much older, sorry.

Yes too young, even if one of you brings down a blanket and lies on sofa but awake to keep an eye on him would be good.

No way, at 3 he's still a baby. How can you even sleep knowing he's downstairs alone? Until my ds was about 6 he would wake at 5.30 and I would automatically get up with him. At abou 7, he began going downstairs at 7am and putting the tv. He always came in to us first and we would try to encourage him back to bed first. If he got up I would get up half an hour later and make his breakfast. Now he's 14 I can't get him OUT of bed!!

I’m just amazed that a 3 year old will leave you to sleep for that long 😅
It’s a bit too young to be honest for them to be alone and eating also is a worry ... I leave my two year old downstairs with the tv on with a sippy cup of milk while I go back and have wash etc but wouldn’t for that long

I get up at 5.30 so unlikely anyone would be downstairs before me. Also I still walk my children down the stairs. 🙄 Oldest us 9!!

Waaaaay too young to be downstairs alone, so many dangerous things could happen while you’re catching up on your beauty sleep upstairs! He could choke, harm himself on something I. The kitchen, put on something inappropriate on tv, open the door to a stranger etc etc, I’m surprised you’re able to sleep with the possibility. You should just accept that early mornings are part of being a parent. Look at it this way, would you go off to bed at night and leave him downstairs?!

I’m just amazed that a 3 year old will leave you to sleep for that long

Not a good thing. It just indicates how detached the child is.

Too young! My three year old would be capable of doing this but I would never let him eat without me. I get up with mine at 5am and just doze on the sofa whilst he watches cbeebies. I then get breakfast and a coffee for me about an hour later.

Such a thread of extremes. No way would I make breakfast for a 7 year old who didn't need to be up at a ridiculous hour just because it has been half an hour. My 7 year old makes her own breakfast every day. The 3 year old being left alone is bad but as a pp said the level of mollycoddling is t that much better

I get up at 0530/0600 everyday because I wont let my son go downstairs on his own. take turns with your partner to get up with him and just go to bed earlier.

Also I still walk my children down the stairs. 🙄 Oldest us 9!!

Well I my kids started doing this at age of 4, I felt confident & comfortable that they were fine. Every child is different & only you know how likely he would be to get himself into trouble.

If you still have a baby monitor set it up in the front room so when he enters you know he's there and can listen out and see him.

That clears up all this stuff people saying that has probably made you feel shitty..

Parents need sleep or at least to just lay in bed semi conscious..

@carexfairex I agree.

My children are 7 and 9 and only recently have we started allowing them to come downstairs before we get up without one of us, and they still have to come in to us first to let us know where they are. 3 is a little young in my opinion

My eldest was doing it from a similar age, albeit slightly different as we were in a flat. I wouldn't allow the eating alone as felt too risky for me. My second is a totally different child and at 4 I won't leave him alone for longer than 5 mins. He does however go downstairs and watch tv as long as my 9 year old is with him

Kids aren't all the same, so I feel should be treated case by case.

OP, with kindness, the gist is most people think your child is being left alone for too long.

Cameras don't cut it, sorry.

Most parents feel shattered, become unwell, feel like a bag of shit at times.

However, please take on board what has been said, it will only benefit you little one.

your little one ffs

My 6 year old has just started doing this (we live in a bungalow can actually see into the front room from my room) but I wouldn't have let him at 3.

2 hours on his own downstairs?? At 3? No. God no. He should be coming in to you for cuddles and at least a good morning. It doesn't seem healthy for such a young child to not be expecting any input from you for 2 hours. I'd be surprised if my 8 year old could manage it now tbh. As others have said, the choking risk too. Leaving a child under 5 unattended with food is always a risk.

I never normally comment but this seems a bit judgey and harsh.

I would love mine to be self sufficient and they are almost 9 and 7! No eating though due to choking risk but if they wake early they grab their tablets and headphones and watch in their rooms or in with us. We have a high bolt on the kitchen door so no access to scissors, knives etc. Not that we don't trust them per se but kids are unpredictable.

I think the OP's 3 yo shows great independence and confidence, traits that will stand them in good stead in the future. But at 3 they need an adult to supervise, even if that adult is dozing on the sofa under a blanket.
If OP forces herself to get up early for a few days she'll soon find it easier to nod off earlier and they household routine will adjust accordingly.

I would love to think this is a fake post as the thoughts of a three year old left to his own devices for two hours is just beyond me.