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Pro Women, Not Anti Trans - Why Biology Is Important.

83 replies

IStandWithWomen · 11/06/2020 13:45

This is a very long thread

Many people seem to be question why women are defending themselves against the idea that 'people' have periods rather than women, as is biologically correct. There is a long argument as to what defines a woman in terms of gender, and I'm still to find any of them that equates to an all inclusive term. I have never understood what it means to be a woman, and have yet to find anyone that can eloquently explain what makes us different from men in a non-biological sense.

I would say I've never noticed a difference between women and men, but of course that is untrue. Sadly, the only time I have noticed that I'm different from boys and men is through negative experience. Being told that there was something inherently wrong with me not liking playing with dolls, or always insisting on cutting my hair short, enjoying video games over make up. The name calling starts from a very young age - not a little girl, a tomboy, one of the lads. Get to your teenage years and the questions really begins. Are you a lesbian? Are you actually a boy? Not insults, but a clear message from society that 'you are not what is expected from a woman'. It works both ways - boys who like musicals, Barbies or dresses and makeup must be gay or girly. They cannot just be objects that humans like, they have a gender or sexuality and therefore that's the box you must fit in.

Older still, and the dark realisation that society thinks they own your female body. 'Cover up' your body? You're a prude, don't you want boys to like you? You're only young once! Show too much skin, what a slut, winding the boys up. Get sexually attacked? You were obviously asking for it. Get pregnant young? Forget about having a life, you are now nothing but a statistic. The man who impregnated you run off? Well what did you expect, he's young and needs to go and establish his life and career. He can always start again later. You're the stupid girl who ruined her life.

Choose not to have kids? You must be a cold hearted monster, all women want babies really! All female celebrities under 50 - 'oh is that weight gain or a bump we see?' screams the tabloids and they photograph them every 5 minutes to find any imperfections. After 50? Look how old they're getting! How much work have they had done? Why do they look their age? It's not OK for a 70 year old woman to look 70, how ugly.

Even day to day we are reminded our bodies and anatomy aren't our own. Another country denying contraception and abortions for women, punishing them for being raped, little girls being mutilated just for the fact they are born biologically female. Another day, another story about a woman being murdered by a man. Her fault, she walked off by herself, she made him angry, she should have known better. I have never met a woman who hasn't been physically or sexually intimidated by a man in her life. Most have many experiences. #MeToo.

This isn't new. The treatment of women as a lesser human has been evident since records exist. It is part of our lore, it's in our religious text. Women belong to men. So we have stood up and said no, our bodies are our own, we have our rights. There is no definition to being a woman other than our biologically sex, which needs to be recognised so we have control over our menstruation, our pregnancies and abortions if we choose to, our rights to say no to sex, no to forced marriage, our right to say 'I dont feel well, and I won't have a doctor dismiss me as hysterical or having typical lady-problems'. Our biology is important, it's our very lives. It's been used to control us and kill us. We have a right to say it belongs to us now.

To be able to define our own biologically sex is fundamental in our fight for equality in this world. It is what has been used to keep us down throughout history, so when people like JK Rowling owns periods as a female function then you don't have the right to shout her down. We have earned our right to say 'this is our anatomy'. When men such as Daniel Radcliffe say 'trans women are women', they are dismissive of trans men who still have and had suffered all of the above as biologically women. When Eddie Redmayne says TWAW, he chooses to forget that a woman risked her life with her female biology to give him children or in fact to give him life. If all trans men are men, then when are men like him going to start dying to give life? We've made no progress, the men who used to deny us equality are now the ones demanding we share our female-ness with them.

I want to live in a world where women, men, trans women and trans men can all live equally without this fighting and demand for biological appropiation. People should be able to live their lives without any risk of threat against the person they are. Instead it has decided into another social war, where again women are again being told to shut up and that our opinions do not matter unless we agree with the masses. We cannot say our bodies are female without being threatened, demeaned, have men apologise on our behalf for our statements.

Am I being unreasonable? Possibly, but I have tried to be on the fence about this matter for years. I can only speak for myself, but the last few days I have been so angry. I have had experiences in my life, sad and terrible ones, that have only happened because I am a woman, that no male could ever understand. To have them denied as a female experience is infuriating and frustrating. Don't tell me to be quiet, don't apologise for me or tell me I'm wrong. You don't own me or my biology.

OP posts:
IStandWithWomen · 12/06/2020 08:39

What did I see when Daniel Radcliffe and Eddie Redmayne piped up from their privileged little podiums?

Daniel Radcliffe in particular has infuriated me. He has undermined the woman who made him rich and famous, apologised on her behalf, and in his little rant completely forgot about trans men - some of whom do menstruate. He didn't give an opinion, he just shat on her from a great height to gain likes. Sadly it worked.

OP posts:
KitKatKit · 12/06/2020 08:48

Fantastically well written OP.

bogoffmda · 12/06/2020 10:58

Summed up what I think but can not articulate - well done OP.

I am a 6ft 1ins woman - I used to be told I looked like a man, now I get asked if I am trans and who did my surgery because it is so good!

I do not understand what it is to be a man because I am not one, i do not understand what it is to be a trans woman because I am not one. I am simply a woman.

I just want to be, what I am - a woman and not treated like a freak because of my size, discriminated, patronised and considered inferior to men, trans men and trans women - I am what I think I am, just like everyone else can be what they want to think they are , no one is better just different.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 12/06/2020 14:09

bog I'm sorry you've encountered such shitty people Thanks

Giespeace · 12/06/2020 14:48

My mum was told she couldn’t progress with exams at work because she’s female and would just go off and get married. She did. 10 years later.
She suffered birth injuries which caused a prolapse requiring surgery more than 10 years after my siblings arrival. When confiding in a friend, she was horrified to be told about how friends vagina was butchered when doctors were repairing it after her third child because “her husband would prefer it tight” and about the trouble it had caused her ever since. This was the NHS in the United Kingdom in the 1990s. Horrifying.
Mum also suffered an under active thyroid which brought on early menopause. She suffered terribly before she could get a doctor to take her seriously.
And then of course, having been deliberately held back at work because of her female biology, her pay never reached what it could have and so her pension is not what it would have been if she’d been in possession of a penis. And then the retirement age changes and fucks her over again.

Just a few examples from the life of one ordinary (but obviously extraordinary to me!) middle aged British woman. No man will ever know what these experiences are like, no matter how many hormones they take or surgery they have. No man will ever have the right to say these experiences don’t matter. My mums female sex and biology has had a huge impact on her life and health. How dare anyone say it doesn’t matter or doesn’t count?

I support a trans woman’s right to be a trans woman. I completely reject any attempt to erase/silence/belittle biological women in the process.

With you all the way, OP. 👏🏻

1WildTeaParty · 12/06/2020 14:57

@IStandWithWomen I agree with you...
though my opinion (being that of a biological woman) doesn't mean anything - of course.

If only I was a man or a trans-woman so that my thoughts and opinions could have worth and add weight to your views here [grin}

IStandWithWomen · 12/06/2020 15:04

@Giespeace, what an awful tale. Not an uncommon one sadly.

My own mother was told she was mentally ill for a couple of years. She was made out to be a hypochondriac or menopausal, lost her job over it when it got worse and she was eventually hospitalised. Turned out she had a terminal illness, she didn't live to see beyond her 50s. It wasn't anything she could have been saved from, but if she had been listened to then we'd all have had more time to accept what was happening. I don't get listened to when I have medical complaints, apparently 'your body doesn't work as well after having children'. We don't get listened to.

OP posts:
MrsJonesAndMe · 12/06/2020 18:04

YANBU, amazing piece of writing

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