Builders or neighbour BU?

[Anotherdayanother2]

I currently have building works going on and granted my neighbour has had to put up with a lot, I'm not sure who is being unreasonable.

I had builders working on the party wall so sought permission from my neighbour. The builders told her they wouldn't access her garden but would work from my side only - although there would be some debris which they will clean up. She was fine with this.

Day arrives. 8.15 am they step onto neighbours garden to look at the wall. Neighbour goes ballistic, saying they were trespassing, she could have been naked etc. There is no fence between the properties.

Builder storms off to the front where I have just arrived. Neighbour comes to the front and starts saying to the builder that had it been a black man in her garden and she was a white woman (she is mixed) then the police would be involved. But as she is black then she just has to put up with it.

Builder apologises and said he was merely looking and quits saying he cant work under these conditions.

I stood there in shock as had only just arrived and couldn't work out what was going on. The conversation lasted 2 minutes at most.

I generally get on well with my neighbour to the extent that there has been no prior conflict and we only last week spoke about erecting a new fence together.

So who is being unreasonable?

Builder is unreasonable to go into her garden without prior warning
her reaction is bizarre however!

• you've said she's "already put up with a lot"
• your builders said they would do the work from your side
• the builders went on her property without permission

YABU

Builder should not have gone on without permission, especially when he said he wouldn't.

Maybe just the case of the final straw for her.

What has she already had to put up with and has she and the builder previously clashed because of it?

You say the NDN has 'already had to put up with a lot' so maybe this was the final straw for her.

Your builder is BU for accessing her garden without permission having said they would not go on NDN's side. They were also BU for flouncing off.

Your NDN is BU for their extreme reaction to the situation.

If this was Day 1 of this work you should have arranged to be there to meet the builder, not turn up afterwards.

A vast amount of people on MN will say any type of building work in U, you should've bought a bigger house in the first place.

Whose fence is missing? Is it hers? Why is it missing?

In any case she is bat shit crazy and needs to calm down and what the fuck has it got to do with people being black, white or green?

My experience of building work and neighbours - having been on both sides of the equation - is that the person doing the building cannot be either too grateful or too considerate. As the person doing the building, you need to go the extra mile to make sure the neighbour is ok with everything that happens at every stage of the process. A bottle of wine / box of chocs now and again (but moreover your understanding that it's been a long and noisy week) goes a very long way. Tiptoe around your neighbour like she's a sleeping baby!

I say put up alot meaning it's building works and she has to put up with a certain amount of noise.

This is not day 1 of building works - this is the final week. Although this now won't be the case given I have no builder.

The fence belongs to neighbour and has been down for 4 years. She claims to not have time to fix it.

Understandmenow I was wondering whether anyone was willing to pick up on neighbour's comments

Are you sure there's no more of a backstory between builder and neighbour? It seems odd she would blow up so much, and that he would then immediately quit. Could there have been clashes between them before while you weren't there?

And also there has been no building works during lockdown (they stopped early March) and started up again this week. So a full3 months of total silence as we've not lived in the property while this is being done.

Thanks for the tip about going the extra mile BlackCrow.

I stood there in shock as had only just arrived

Are you living in the property OP or are you living elsewhere while the neighbour has put up with all the crap and noise? This may have a bearing on her reaction.

Cross post. I see you haven’t lived there. Lucky you.

Unexpected and unannounced "visitor" in your garden at 8am would piss off a lot of people. Some of us like a bit of privacy first thing in the morning when we are in our pjs.

The fence belongs to neighbour and has been down for 4 years. She claims to not have time to fix it.

Next move, get a couple of large dogs and let them wonder all over her garden, that should get her to put a fence up! She can't be that bloody bothered about privacy without a fence!

Understandmenow I was wondering whether anyone was willing to pick up on neighbour's comments

A lot will miss it as they're too enraged that you're dating to improve your property, so can't read the entire OP.

Cross post. I see you haven’t lived there. Lucky you.

Yep lucky Op, doesn't give the neighbour the right to not have a fence for four years and to be so ridiculous that she wants to involve the police!! FFS, are they not busy enough?

You're right @Homemadeandfromscratch , I put a fence up to ensure mine, you'd think the neighbour being that highly strung might've found the time to do that in four years?

*wander not wonder!

Although wonder dogs would be awesome.

Nothing is more frustrating that building work in an empty house! Neighbours have to suffer and put up with the inconvenience whilst the owner can blissfully ignore it.

Hardly a great way to start a decent relationship, no wonder that poor woman is pissed off.

you'd think the neighbour being that highly strung might've found the time to do that in four years?
that doesn't compare with someone physically entering your garden and presumably having a full view of your home?

Nothing is more frustrating that building work in an empty house! Neighbours have to suffer and put up with the inconvenience whilst the owner can blissfully ignore it.

But it means the work is carried out over a shorter time, surely it's a good thing 🤷‍♀️

And you can have a lot worse neighbours than this that renovate their homes.

I think the neighbour may have over-reacted a bit, but nothing compared to the builder's reaction - have you paid him? I bet he's been offered a better job elsewhere and wants to get onto it pronto.

I don't think the race thing is particularly relevant, but I have been in her position being at home 24/7 and being affected by building works whilst the owner next door is somewhere nice and quiet. I do know that if builders want to get out of something or have a new job to go to some will engineer a dispute and then say they are "walking off the job" - sound familiar to anyone?

YABVU.

Hmm you're one of the how dare you improve your home brigade that I predicted earlier in the thread @Homemadeandfromscratch!

What do you think the relevance of the batshit crazy neighbour referring to the has it been a black man, she would've informed the police?

Does she sound like a reasonable person to you? Really?

Are you fishing OP? Something you'd like someone to say? Seeing as you were "wondering" if someone would pick up on the neighbour's comments?

The neighbour could just have easily said I'm a little teapot and called the builder a cunt. That isn't a reason for your builder to walk off the job in a huff. I bet there have been a great many little things like this that he has "only" done and then apologised for and it sounds like your neighbour had reached the end of her tether.

No one is saying you can't have work done FFS @understandmenow you are being deliberately obtuse. But the OP needs to go round there and find out whats been going on, not immediately adopt the stance that the neighbour is in the wrong for objecting and the builder is some sort of victim in this.

OP you have to live here, this is to be your home I presume? Sort it out now, go and ask - it sounds like you've had a reasonable relationship with the neighbour beforehand?

understandmenow
improving your home with no regards for your neighbours when you make sure YOU are not affected in the slightest is unreasonable and rude, and you know perfectly what I meant.

We all have work done at some point or another, but the way we approach our neighbours about it makes all the difference.

No one is blaming the OP btw, I was just mentioning that the neighbour could easily had enough with the noise - even with the lockdown break - when the owners who benefit aren't even there and are suffering of no inconvenience themselves.

So a full3 months of total silence as we've not lived in the property while this is being done.
fabulous, and how many weeks of building noise before that?

Have you been on site at all time to check the builders respected the building hours and building days even? That they didn't impose loud radio noise on the street?

To put into context. My neighbour has said that she wants to replicate the same extension on her side so that she will actually be using the party wall that I have built when she does build. So it was in her best interest to actually have it done properly.

And to be fair she's had gardeners in who always steps on my side and I don't make a big song and dance about it. I do my own gardening so I don't have the reverse issue.